![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
video; fanfic narration. because he can.
[OOC: Warning for some smuttiness! I will avoid explicit stuff, and replies should likewise avoid explicit stuff, but there is absolutely smuttiness going on.]
[Zelos will be honest -- he didn't really know what to think of the fanfiction at the Foreigner Festival when he first realised what it was, and he hasn't gone out of his way to find any more since. There's something about the idea of someone narrating his life that doesn't sit well with him.
But then. But then.
He gets his hands on these.
When the camera turns on, Keeliai gets treated to one of Zelos's smarmiest grins. He's holding a book -- or a paper document that does its best to pass for a book, anyway -- and he waves it at the screen.]
Hello there, all my beautiful hunnies! I have a special treat for everyone today. You know those stories people write about us? [He waves the papers some more.] I hit the jackpot! You'll never guess what I found.
[Some people can maybe guess.]
Hang on, I'm going to read out the best part. If anyone knows who 'Inaev Morenth' is, by the way, I'm happy to pay you to tell me. Okay, so here we go! This one's called The Hot Dust.
[And Zelos clears his throat, repositions the papers, and... proceeds to narrate what is unmistakeably, from the very first word, smut. Perhaps mercifully, people can turn off their consoles whenever they want.]
[Zelos will be honest -- he didn't really know what to think of the fanfiction at the Foreigner Festival when he first realised what it was, and he hasn't gone out of his way to find any more since. There's something about the idea of someone narrating his life that doesn't sit well with him.
But then. But then.
He gets his hands on these.
When the camera turns on, Keeliai gets treated to one of Zelos's smarmiest grins. He's holding a book -- or a paper document that does its best to pass for a book, anyway -- and he waves it at the screen.]
Hello there, all my beautiful hunnies! I have a special treat for everyone today. You know those stories people write about us? [He waves the papers some more.] I hit the jackpot! You'll never guess what I found.
[Some people can maybe guess.]
Hang on, I'm going to read out the best part. If anyone knows who 'Inaev Morenth' is, by the way, I'm happy to pay you to tell me. Okay, so here we go! This one's called The Hot Dust.
[And Zelos clears his throat, repositions the papers, and... proceeds to narrate what is unmistakeably, from the very first word, smut. Perhaps mercifully, people can turn off their consoles whenever they want.]
no subject
Nope! You're the very first! Congratulations.
[Zelos's smile would be difficult to see through for anyone who isn't an empath.]
no subject
[At least he had more wit than Dante]
Juts add proper warnings next time and I won't arrest you.
no subject
Just so I know exactly what you're talking about, what kind of warnings? 'Watch out, I'm about to talk about sex'? What if the warnings need warnings?
no subject
How about this for a warning. Mark your posts properly or end up in cuffs.
no subject
[Valdis. Why. Why that wording. Why.]
no subject
[Why was he? Oh...]
No! That's not what I meant.
no subject
[Amused, Zelos waves a hand.]
Fine, I'll give a warning next time. 'Hello, Keeliai, by order of your beautiful police chief, I'm reading stories that have sex in them'.
no subject
Don't pair flattery with sarcasm.
no subject
[Without missing a beat.]
no subject
You'd better hope Raine finds you before I do.
no subject
I'm kidding! Just kidding!
[And, as the laughter dies away:]
You're one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. Why'd you think I was serious?
no subject
[The comment isn't what has caused her ire.]
You are simply infuriating.