video; fanfic narration. because he can.

[choiced]

[OOC: Warning for some smuttiness! I will avoid explicit stuff, and replies should likewise avoid explicit stuff, but there is absolutely smuttiness going on.]


[Zelos will be honest -- he didn't really know what to think of the fanfiction at the Foreigner Festival when he first realised what it was, and he hasn't gone out of his way to find any more since. There's something about the idea of someone narrating his life that doesn't sit well with him.

But then. But then.

He gets his hands on these.

When the camera turns on, Keeliai gets treated to one of Zelos's smarmiest grins. He's holding a book -- or a paper document that does its best to pass for a book, anyway -- and he waves it at the screen.]

Hello there, all my beautiful hunnies! I have a special treat for everyone today. You know those stories people write about us? [He waves the papers some more.] I hit the jackpot! You'll never guess what I found.

[Some people can maybe guess.]

Hang on, I'm going to read out the best part. If anyone knows who 'Inaev Morenth' is, by the way, I'm happy to pay you to tell me. Okay, so here we go! This one's called The Hot Dust.

[And Zelos clears his throat, repositions the papers, and... proceeds to narrate what is unmistakeably, from the very first word, smut. Perhaps mercifully, people can turn off their consoles whenever they want.]

Comments

[simulsimul]

Why?!

[Look, he just wants to know. Kratos's face is nothing but incredulity. Understated incredulity, but even so. It's emotion. He has nothing against people who like porn. But to share it with the world ...?!]

[annihilist]

Oh, please, mercenary. Why not? Let the man have his fun.

[simulsimul]

[Kratos doesn't splutter, but it's possibly a close thing. His face seems like it's attempting to look horrified and not quite sure how to go about it.]

There are children with access to the network.

[choiced]

Thank you.

[Zelos doesn't know Devin all that well, but the more he sees and hears, the more he likes the man. Of course, Zelos will also like anyone who agrees with him, really.]

There's plenty more where that came from, if you want it. [Paper shake.]

[choiced]

Oh hey, Kratos! [Shrug.] Why not?

[And, still with that smarmy grin, Zelos keeps going without missing a beat. Look, if you want to stop listening, feel free.]

[simulsimul]

Zelos Wilder.

[Oops it's a Dad Voice. A scandalised Dad Voice, even.]

Video

[redlightgreenlight]

[Valdis is not amused and it is quite evident by the expression on her face.]

Don't you have better things to do than read porn over the network?

[choiced]

[Zelos pauses to think about this.]

No, not really.

[redlightgreenlight]

I'm pretty sure that exposing children to porn is an arrestable offense.

[And as Chief of Police, she would know.]

But if you are so bored, I could give you something more worthwhile to do.

text

[ruinsprofessor]

Zelos, where are you?

video;

[choiced]

[Zelos pauses in his narration long enough to read the text, and laughs. Come on, Raine. He's not that stupid. He doesn't even reply -- just keeps going.

The background of the video is a pretty nondescript storage area, but if Raine looks closely enough, she might be able to make out a business name on one of the boxes.]

[purered]

[There's always at least one person like this. ]

I could have gone my entire life blissfully ignorant of ...that being something people evidently enjoy.

[choiced]

Then I did you a favour! See? Now you won't have any regrets at the end of your life. You can't know you won't like something until you give it a try.

video;

[wolfishflame]

Hmm, prose is a bit overwrought, but otherwise it's okay. Three out of five stars.

Add more talking next time and less doin' it. Like, why should I care? Make me get invested in the story.

[One of the children Valdis is so worried about may or may not read and/or write the occasional smutfic of her own. Look, she's a nerdy teenager in 2017. Her hobbies are saving the world, video games, and tumblr.]

video;

[choiced]

[Finally! Someone who gets it!]

Are you kidding? This is great! [He pauses.] I admit it, it's also the first I've seen in Keeliai, so maybe I'm just starved for it. Three out of five? [Frown and ponder for a second, then his face lights up.] Want to help me figure out who the author is?

[looksfine]

[Congratulations, Zelos. The youngest Foreigner in Keelai is currently staring at the screen with slightly widened eyes, her mouth parted long before she managed to find a voice to express her thoughts on the matter:]

...some of the scenarios which you have described do not sound...possible.

[choiced]

[She is never not going to sound like Tabatha, and that's enough to make Zelos falter. On the one hand, even organic dolls should get the chance to enjoy stuff like this. On the other hand, she's... an organic doll.]

Oh, they're all possible. [Maybe he'll just start by answering questions. That's safe enough, right?] They might not all be your cup of tea, but they're all possible. And a lot of fun, too!

[protivvyter]

You should really keep things like that private.

[choiced]

[Oh, joy. Another one for the how dare you brigade.]

Why? It's not like I'm demonstrating any of it. Unless you're volunteering...?

[ninjainviolet]

[ Hello, Zelos, meet "Inaev Morenth"--who is so not going to tell you this bit of information. ]

Zelos! What the hell are you doing?

[choiced]

[But Sheena...]

What does it look like I'm doing? Sheesh. I found something cool, and I'm sharing it.

[... And. Suddenly he remembers that Sheena, of all people, might not actually appreciate this very much. Zelos hesitates.]

It's good, right? Not as good as some of the stuff your people from Mizuho write, but it sure does kill a few hours.

[denyamenti]

[ Bakura is having almost as much fun with people's reactions as to the content itself. possibly more ]

Oh look, there's finally an entertainment program on the network. About time.

[choiced]

I'm glad someone appreciates it. The way I've been yelled at all day, you'd think sex was taboo.

[Sad shake of his head.]

video;

[isochrone]

[ Elizabeth looks half scandalized, but half interested as well. When one had 19 years to read, it's unlikely she hadn't come across at least a few risque things before. ]

Well, this is... unexpected.

[ She missed ForCon, alas. ]

[choiced]

[Half scandalised but half interested is exactly Zelos's area of expertise.]

Right? I'm thinking about making it a regular thing. With warnings, because everyone's demanding that, but it doesn't seem like the author's done yet. [With a grin:] Interested?