tushanshu | o1 ♆ video

[A messy-haired teenage boy is eyeing the computer with an expression somewhere between dubious, irritated, and relieved] One minute I’m falling to Tartarus, the next I’m stuck on a giant turtle and surrounded by water. I’m pretty sure that no one can blame me for thinking that sounds too good to be true.

We are on a giant turtle, right? Like, I didn’t hit my head and hallucinate that or anything, there’s definitely a turtle with a whole city happening on its back and everything? Has anyone tried talking to it yet? Because I could really use an answer that isn’t ‘ask the Emperor’ right now.

[He glances down at his hands and falls silent for a moment. One of them shows signs of the skin being ripped and torn, but it’s the other one he seems to be focussing on. He clenches his hand fruitlessly for a second, before glancing back up at the camera] Uh. I’m Percy, by the way. I’m looking for a girl called Annabeth Chase. She’s tall, has curly blonde hair, and a bad attitude. If you tell her I’m looking for her, she’ll probably start badmouthing me. Or – Frank, Hazel, Nico, Leo, Piper. Jason, even. If you’re here, get in touch.

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I wondered the same thing! I want to get a group together to try and talk to it, but I don't think anybody speaks turtle, and I haven't heard about it being psychic or anything yet.

Anyway, that Annabeth girl must be pretty popular, since you're the second guy asking about her lately.

So no one's been able to try yet? Because speaking turtle is my kind of thing.

[He frowns] She's definitely here? Who else was asking?

I figure you already realize this, since you're kind of in a city on his back, but the turtle is kind of a big dude. Getting on his head isn't that hard, but his face is a different matter... Wait, do you really speak turtle? Is that your power or something?

[He shrugs.] Some new guy named Lee or something [Intentionally messing it up, just because the guy had kind of an ego.]

[He manages a distracted sort of grin] It's okay, I'm good at swimming. And yeah, sort of.

Leo?

No offense, dude, but that's kind of a lame power. Only it's pretty awesome now in this one specific circumstance.

[He snaps his fingers.] That's the guy!

It's come in handy a couple of times now. [He's not going elaborate on his powers right now]

[He looks a little relieved] He didn't happen to have a giant floating ship with him, did he?

I guess so... If you were in a universe full of evil turtles... Or maybe if you needed to get rid of some jellyfish in the area that you were swimming in.

[Santo just shrugs again.] If he did, then it's news to me. I'm pretty sure he and the rest of us all showed up here the same way that you did.

Knowing my life? That's a definite possibility. Both of those things.

Right. [There's a pause] Hey man, uh - what are you, exactly?

Heh, evil turtles sounds kind of cute, though. If they get all uppity, you can just roll them over. [Just ignore him.]

[Oh, not this again.] Really? What do I look like?

Sure, if they're on land. They're pretty mobile underwater, though. And I think even I'd have trouble taking on an evil turtle big enough to fit a city on its back.

[Percy squints, tilting his head slightly] Honestly? A sentient pile of rocks. No offence.

Good thing this one isn't evil, then. [Then again, after recent events.] At least I don't think he is.

That's... Actually not too far off. I'm a mutant that uses rock to make my body.

Do you have some kind of proof either way, or are we just sort of crossing our fingers and hoping here?

Huh. That's not actually the weirdest thing I've ever heard.

Uh... Well... I mean, we're kind of living on its back, and it hasn't tried to shake us off, drown us, or kill us yet? [Except for the zombie thing, but he's trying to give the turtle the benefit of the doubt.]

Really? You're the first person I've talked to in a while that felt that way. You have mutants and stuff back where you're from?

Hey, it could be biding its time. But that does sound pretty good so far. I might take a dive once I figure out...uh, everything that's going on.

...I was once attacked by a girl with one donkey leg and one bronze leg, and my brother's a Cyclopes. You kind of get used to weird appearances after that.

It could be, but I'm pretty sure it's not an evil mastermind turtle. It's more like a hang out and eat tacos with turtle... You know, if it was a reasonably sized one.

Wait, a donkey leg? [Because obviously that's the only part that he needed to pick up on.]

You think turtles go for Mexican?

[He makes a face] Yeah, apparently the empousa seduce guys for a living. You can't always see the legs.

Are you suggesting that they wouldn't? Turtles are total bros... Probably. Spaghetti and cheeseburgers then. We'll bring all the good stuff for it.

[He really doesn't know what to say, so he just stares for a few minutes.] Hopefully you can't always see the legs. I don't think I've met a guy who was into donkey gams.

I don't know, man, I've never asked. Bringing options is probably the best idea. [He's grinning openly now]

Honestly? They're just as creepy when they're using the Mist to disguise themselves. They tend to go for a cheerleader form.

I bet they'd like them if they were fish tacos... But yeah, we'll bring options. Maybe it'll even like all of them and grant us wishes. [The extent of the turtles power is just going to get more and more unrealistic the longer they talk about it.]

That's kind of a bummer, man. I mean, being seduced is the dream... That just sounds like a nightmare.

Some of them are vegetarians. Just saying. [He snorts] This thing is the size of a city, who knows? Maybe it can grant wishes. One per taco.

Well, most dudes don't realise it at all. If they're totally mortal, I mean. So they probably die in bliss with no idea about the donkey leg.

Fiiiine, we'll bring a salad too. Even though I'm sure the turtle is too manly for that.

... I can't decide if that's awesome or horrifying anymore... Well played.

Do we even know for sure that the turtle's a dude?

[He makes a face] Horrifying. Trust me.

... How would you even tell?

...I'm gonna go with ask. Because any alternative's going way too far, even for me.

I'll... Uh. I think I'll leave that part up to you, buddy.

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kelpful - 2013-02-01 07:49 (UTC) - Expand

o1 ♆ video

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video; i'm so sorry for him

never apologize. I'm sure I'll have to apologize for Santo at some point.

:'D

<3

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