[video] Nowadays it is only the unreadable that occurs

[depicted]

[Dorian posts from his Fire Sector suite, a transcription of some pages of books he found in the Emperor's library in hand. The transcription is, of course, in the local language, and that is why he speaks]

In the interest of actually being able to read anything useful we might come across, rather than puzzling over it like it's the Voynich manuscript, I thought it might be prudent to attempt to gather together the work of those of us who have been trying to crack the language. I know there are at least a few—if there are resources to be shared, then we may all make a bit more progress. [He has been working on this for some time, and it is audible in every stubborn syllable.] At the very least, it can't possibly hurt.

Comments

[monstrous]

Because you can't.

[depicted]

Do you want to hear about zombies or not?

[monstrous]

I'd rather hear you come up with a pun, but seeing as that's not likely, sure. Let's hear about zombies.

[jumping right back in, because this is important stuff] Did the same one ever accidentally bite you again, like a few days pass, thought you were a good snack, and then remembered after the fact he didn't much like the taste of you? Sort of like forgetting you just brushed your teeth and then having orange juice.

[depicted]

[Time to get unhelpful but honest answers.] Hard to tell since I killed most of them and didn't keep track of the rest.

[monstrous]

You killed them after they killed you or as they were killing you?

[depicted]

[Why are you Abeding him.] Depended on the zombie. An easy method of dealing with them was to let them get a bite and then set them on fire.

[monstrous]

[Because it's zombies, Dorian. Zombies. Duh] Did you ever catch on fire as well?

[depicted]

[Dorian is giving you the 'you are insensitive' look. Ignoring Dorian's pain is just rude.] Now and again, yes, I burned.

[monstrous]

[Toby sees that look, and picks up Dorian's hand. He examines Dorian's wrist, fingers circling and seeking out Dorian's pulse point] You wouldn't know it to look at you. That painting of yours really is remarkable.

[depicted]

[Dorian allows the touch. He has never tried to stop Toby. And as it always does under Toby's touch, his pulse picks up.] After what I've put this body through, I'm surprised there is anything in that picture to look at.

[monstrous]

[As Toby finds Dorian's pulse point, his thumb rubs circles around it while his fingers wrap around Dorian's wrist] I'm not. It's your soul, and anything that's Dorian Gray demands to be noticed.

[depicted]

[Dorian should learn not to let flattery go to his head. Or his heart. But then, even if he did, it wouldn't be any defence against Toby.] Ah . . . I, uh—I'm glad you think so. [There is no justice in the way Toby can play him.]

[monstrous]

I do. Even your terrible punning skills demand to be noticed. [Toby smiles] Go on, Dorian, give us a series title.

[depicted]

[Dorian is disarmed. His answer is not masked by aesthetic hipsterism.] Uh, I'm not sure. Yours wasn't that bad. The Undead? Honestly, the concept's a little dorky. Your title might suit it better if just for that.

[Disarmed into honesty means honest commentary on Toby, too.]

[monstrous]

[Toby stares at Dorian before laughing warmly. He leans in and gives Dorian a kiss before pulling away, still smiling] I know all that, I said it was cheesy from the start. The Undead isn't so bad either. It leaves room for vampires and the like.

[depicted]

[Speaking of cheesy: if Toby is happy, Dorian is happy. It is as simple as that. Toby's smile is reflected on Dorian's lips, and the warmth of his laughter finds its way to Dorian's cheeks.] Oh, good. Just a zombie and an immortal isn't taking advantage of the full scope of interesting supernaturals around. I'd very much enjoy costarring with a vampire.

[monstrous]

Would the immortal and the vampire be on the same team? It could be the sort of story where they're on opposite sides yet somehow they're always pulled together. Only their divergent goals and ideals separate them, and yet it's an obstacle they can't quite overcome no matter how much they might like to, because neither one can back down. If that were the case, the vampire might only be in an episode or two per series, so I can't really say if he'd be considered a costar.

[depicted]

[What a nerd.] You're getting really into this idea, aren't you?

[monstrous]

There's not much else to do. [handwaves in the direction of Dorian's books] You really need to get on top of this translation business.

[depicted]

[He sulks.] I can learn it later. I've been trying for months. It won't hurt to spend the night with you.

[monstrous]

[With a wicked smile, Toby leans in closer to Dorian] Or it could hurt if you wanted.

[And then Toby pushes himself off the couch and offers his hand to Dorian to help Dorian up] But come on, I'll try to help you. What have you gotten so far?

[depicted]

[Dorian takes the hand, but only on reflex. His brain takes a second to catch up with his heartrate, and when it does he doesn't let Toby's hand go. Instead, he pulls him closer.] What if I did want it to hurt?

[Sorry, were we talking about something other than Tobias Matthews? Whatever it was, it can't have been that important.]

[monstrous]

[Toby's nose is centimeters from Dorian's.] Then I would give you a particularly dense looking book to try and decipher. [With that, Toby tries to pull Dorian towards the books again] You still haven't said how far you've gotten with this translating.

[depicted]

[Dorian is flustered and unbalanced and very annoyed.] Because I haven't gotten very far at all! Toby!

[monstrous]

[Teasing and imitating Dorian] Dorian!