05 ❄ ( voice )

[wintershepherd]

[ Jack has come back to the city after his fight with Kyle and his talk with Bucky at the shell's edge. He isn't quite ready for video replies yet, knows that despite the usual cheerful timbre he's forcing into his voice it won't cover the fact that his eyes are sad and hollow. ]

Has anyone seen Periwinkle? I went to her suite to give her fresh snow but she's not there and it looks...

[ he fumbles for the right description ]

Unused.

[ private to Finnick ]
Sorry I haven't figured out those other lures yet, I... something-- kind of came up. I take it you saw the announcement?

[ private to Damian ]
I... wanted to apologize, for what I said to you on the sled hill. When you brought up-- I, I just shouldn't have snapped back at you like that. I don't have any right to say who trusts you and who doesn't. I'm sorry.

[ private to Kyle ]
... please don't tell everyone about the snow. I get it, okay? It was wrong and fake and cheating and a horrible thing. But just let them have a good memory of it and-- and I won't spread any more snow like that around. Please. I'll... I'll do whatever you want.

[ He doesn't think he could take it if all the people who thanked him for the snow day suddenly turned on him for it. The ones who'd had their hearts lightened enough to even be able to see him for the first time. ]

Comments

...that's a thing you can do?

[lostundercover]

[He offers a pointed, disapproving frown at the place where he knows Jack to be. This time, it's definitely directed at the kid.]

You're lucky I even believe in you. Don't test that.

Account Settings -> Display -> Hover Menu

[wintershepherd]

[ Jack is silent for a moment, less from the frown (which he expected) and more from the cutting remark. ]

We already tested that, remember? You stopped being able to hear me. You don't have to remind me that I'm lucky to be believed in, Billy... there's no way I'd ever take that for granted.

fancy! Thanks!

[lostundercover]

[Costigan lifts the hand not holding his coffee to rub at his face. He allows his eyes to drift closed as he thinks of what to say, of how to put it. The things he hates saying, but he feels like maybe the kid needs to hear.]

I mean I don't know what I believe in, alright? [He says finally, with a sigh, clearly not keen on admitting as much.] Jack Frost, Saint Jude, any of it. I know that God exists. I can never not believe that. But the rest of it?

[He shakes his head and, for a second, genuine pain appears on his expression. Then he quickly controls it.] I don't know, Jack.

np!

[wintershepherd]

[ softly: ] It's okay not to know.

[ He reaches out, wanting to put a reassuring hand on Costigan's arm to convey he understood just how hard this was for him... but he can't. Jack's fingers curl just before touching the man's sleeve, remembering the way he'd shied uncomfortably away from the brief contact inside the shop where he'd taken back the money. ]

And look, I'm in no way putting myself on the same level as a saint but... if I had the choice, I'd want to be as real as someone needed me to be, no matter what that meant.

[lostundercover]

[Costigan opens his eyes and glances down to his arm where the faintest hint of cold brushes past, wondering if Jack had done something or if he's just imagining it. The undercover drops his gaze and then immediately lifts it again to look out at the people, masking the pain but still not quite his usual hardened self.]

I want to see you. [He replies after a short silence stretches between them.] But I can't change that. Not right now.

[wintershepherd]

That's good enough for me, Billy. I know it seems weird, but it is. That means more to me than the people who could see me right off the bat.

[lostundercover]

[Costigan allows another silence before giving a single nod in acknowledgement of Jack's words. How did his efforts to cheer the kid up end up in him spilling his own secrets? It's embarrassing; he's getting soft. The Bostonian shifts and takes a long sip of his coffee, that emotional wall visibly rising again as Costigan's expression neutralizes again and his posture stiffens with the tension of his muscles.]

How's work going?

[wintershepherd]

[ It was almost a visible change, but Jack didn't mind it. It was part of who Costigan was and Jack liked the man, prickly attitude and all. ]

It's getting busier. With the rationing, everyone's sending their supplies all over the place so I'm flying twice as many deliveries. It's weird, I'm actually getting tired by the end of the day and have to nap... usually I don't need to do that except after big blizzards.

[ He hasn't quite put the fact that it's getting warmer together with the increase in tiredness, not yet. ]

[lostundercover]

Are you doing alright for food?

[Rationing. Costigan doesn't mind it so much, aside from the lack of tobacco, but he knows that others are having a harder time. He's been trying to keep an eye on them, casually, in the hopes of avoiding or defusing tensions between the citizens and the foreigners.]

Making enough money?

[wintershepherd]

[ Jack's voice suddenly became awkward, as though Costigan had caught him doing something he shouldn't have been. ]

Oh, um. Well, the rationing really hasn't been a problem, I don't... actually need to eat. I can and things taste good, but foods like the tart, they're treats.

As far as money goes, I get paid per delivery so how much I make varies, but I always have spare on hand. I give a lot of it to people who use it for things they need. I gave a bunch to Finnick so he could start his fishing business, and I bought Zatanna some of her favourite tea because she ran out.

[lostundercover]

[And this is Costigan actually face palming. He brings up his hand again to press against his closed eyes, trying to calm himself before the ridiculousness of the entire situation can kick in. He has to actively choose not to think about it too much, lest he lose some of his belief in the kid.]

Do you save some money? I mean, an actual stash of it somewhere?

[wintershepherd]

[ Costigan's reaction has Jack sounding contrite. ]

Yeah, I... guess that never came up before now.

I just hang onto whatever I haven't used or given away, it's not like... savings.

[ guess who has basically NO CONCEPT of basic life skills for modern day living ]

[lostundercover]

[Costigan drops his hand and looks at the still empty chair, his eyes searching for the frost and finding it as a mild reassurance now. He sighs and shifts in his seat, glancing around.]

You need to start saving money, in case something you need money for comes up. If you don't trust yourself, give it to me and I'll save it for you.

[wintershepherd]

[ Jack can't think of anything off the top of his head that he'd need something like that for, but the fact the Costigan offered was enough for the spirit to agree. ]

Okay, that sounds like a good plan.

[lostundercover]

[His eyes travel to the empty space and then beyond, a little surprised by the immediacy of Jack's agreement.]

So you'll save some of your money?

[wintershepherd]

Mm, I'll give it to you. I trust you with it.

[lostundercover]

[Costigan's expression tights a little with displeasure. Jack trusts too much and it bothers him, because if the kid trusts him already, who knows who else he'll trust. But at least he's around for now and can try to stop just such a thing from happening.]

Sure. Sounds good, kid.

[A beat.] You been making a lot of friends around here?

[wintershepherd]

Yeah, I am.

[ Hard to mistake that fondness in his tone; recent events aside, his friends on the turtle are precious to him. ]

More than I ever thought I could.

[lostundercover]

[Costigan gives that a little nod. He wants to smile for the fondness, but the naivety still worries him.]

Good. That's good. Just.. be careful, alright? Not everyone here is a good person.

[wintershepherd]

[ Jack laughs a little, soft but with an age beyond a teen's. ]

There's nobody who's all good or all bad, Billy. You take people as they come, you try to see their best parts and help them fix their worst.

[ It's what he hopes that one day people whom he calls friends will do for him. ]

[lostundercover]

Some people are all bad, Jack.

[He replies without missing a beat, because he knew Costello too well to ever doubt that again. And Sullivan. Costigan finishes off his coffee and sets his cup back down.]

I know you don't believe me, kid, but try to remember that.

[wintershepherd]

All right.

[ It was a graceful allowance, but Jack didn't discount Costigan's obvious experience. They both had a different kind. ]

Feel better now?

[lostundercover]

[Costigan smiles a little at that.]

Do you? This was supposed to be about you. I've just never been too good at people.

[wintershepherd]

Yeah... I do, actually. I think you're better at people than you let on.

[lostundercover]

You're generous.

[He retorts, but his smile widens. Then Costigan gives a nod to his empty coffee cup.]

You about ready? [To call it a day?]