( 001 ) ➶ ( voice )

[arches]

Okay, so not to be ungrateful--because I really appreciate being fished out of the ocean and given a crash course, really, I do--but the whole time thing? Things are just frozen, back where we came from, is that it?

_{( He pauses for a moment, and huffs. Perceptive listeners will be able to tell that he sounds exhausted, more so when he continues. )}

Yeah, I find that a little hard to swallow. More than this place, even. Has there been any verification, on that? Or am I just supposed to assume the nice people fishing me out of the ocean were telling the truth?

_{( Another pause, some muttering that isn't quite audible, though there may be a curse or two in there. Something about deserving this? Who knows. And then, just as unceremoniously as it began, the feed cuts. )}

Comments

[audio]

[sharpes]

Uh. No?

[audio]

[arches]

Uh, yeah. Because otherwise I'm going to have to assume you're an international security risk.

[audio]

[sharpes]

On the back of a giant turtle. Bravo. You've sure got your priorities straight. Who the hell are you, anyway?

[audio]

[arches]

_{( He barks out a laugh, because.. haha, his priorities. It's funny, ok. )}

Well, you seem to know everything. But not that?

[audio]

[sharpes]

Look, man, there've been like. Six million people who've been part of the Avengers at one time or another. Do you really want me to go down the list until I figure out who you are? Because that's not really the most productive use of my time as far as I'm concerned.

[audio]

[arches]

...wow. Guess I'm more out of the loop than I thought.

Or you just have no idea what you're talking about.

[audio]

[sharpes]

Iiiiii'm gonna go with the former on that one. Call me when there's another invasion of Skrulls or something.

[audio]

[arches]

And you'd be such a big help in an invasion?

[audio]

[sharpes]

Dude, I control lightning. I'm not exactly what you'd call a second stringer.

[audio]

[arches]

And now anyone who wants to know that, does.

[audio]

[sharpes]

And I care about that... because? It's not like it's a secret. I mean, I'm not a mutant or anything so nobody really gives a shit.

[audio]

[arches]

It might not be a secret, but it's still strategically stupid to just blurt it out.

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

Okay, okay, okay.

So let's see if I've got this right. You know about the Avengers. And SHIELD. You obviously think it's still some sort of state secret, which means you're from like, the forties or something. And you think it's stupid to blab about powers, which means you're from like, before all that Scarlet Witch bullshit...

[... lightbulb?]

... Or you're from the same weird, screwed-up alternate universe Cap is from and you actually don't have any idea what I'm talking about at all. Okay, does the name Hank Pym mean anything to you?

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

Let's go with the second one, there.

And no. It doesn't ring any bells. _{( Or does it??? Who knows what's in SHIELD files, man. Stupid unwritten universe. )}

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

God I am so sick of you guys and your screwed up alternate worlds.

Okay. Who are you? For real this time. I mean. You're obviously not Tony Stark or Big Green, and if you've never even heard of Pym-- God, I don't know. You don't sound Eurotrash enough to be Quicksilver and I haven't heard a single thou which pretty much rules out Thor. Plus I don't think he'd care about me saying I can use lightning. Except to say something like 'hey you, getteth thou off my cloud' or something like that.

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

_{( God this is embarrassing, they aren't even a team yet and he doesn't make these lists. It's a hard life, Clint Barton. )}

I'm Hawkeye. And you really are clueless if you think that's what Asgardians sound like.

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

No way. Say something circus-y.

[YEAH HE DOESN'T BUY IT THERE HAVEN'T BEEN ENOUGH TERRIBLE PUNS IN THIS CONVERSATION.]

... Dude. Uh. Yeah? They kinda do.

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

What? No.

_{( And then, more seriously: )} No. They really don't.

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

Then there's no way you're Hawkeye. Unless you're that chick from the Young Avengers with a voice modulator or something. In which case - weird.

Okay how many Asgardians have you met exactly?

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

_{( Wow it's like everything Brandon just said he just wants to NOPE out to. Girl? Young Avengers? Talking about the Asgardians he knows... so much nope. )}

There's no way I am who I am? What exactly are you judging this against, kid?

_{( He pauses, then, kind of self-mockingly: )} One and a half.

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

I've met Hawkeye. He's a big goofball who dresses all in purple and has like a million arrows and used to be a villain who worked in a circus or... something. You sound like the friggin' Terminator. No dice.

... was it Loki as a kid?

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

About two fifths of what you just said made sense. But I'm not going to argue you with you; I know who I am. I don't care if you do.

_{( And not even touching that last part because stuff of nightmares. Yup. )}

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

[Well, Bucky never wore hotpants. So maybe this universe is just really fucked up.]

What's the best shot you ever made?

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

_{( Flatly: )} Am I going to get asked which of my children is my favorite, next?

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

You don't have any kids.

[... pause.]

I don't think you have any kids.