video;

[aread]

[Well this sure is a video post. It opens on Kidd, who's looking rather casually bored, dressed up in all the stolen finery one might expect of a pirate. His accent is vaguely British-y, and his tone is casually bored.]

I've heard tell this turtle of ours stops off at locations along the course of its journey. And these shores— would anyone say they at all resemble the Caribbean? Nassau, perhaps?

[He assumes otherwise, but it never hurts to ferret out little bits of information. If nothing else, mention of Nassau might weed out any who know the region and what it stands for. Stood for. He cocks his head to one side, there's maybe a hint of something predatory to his expression.]

I find it curious, aye, to be plain, that we can be so long at sea without fear of outside attack. Pirates, and the like. This place is grand enough, but hardly impregnable. Has anyone considered proper fortifications for it t'all? A blockade, perhaps, or cannons? Or something a sight more modern, I understand there's all manner of things not common to my era.

Thanks be to you, listeners.

[A casual salute, and cut feed.]

Comments

[backinakidflash]

Ahoy, matey! Avast ye! Arrrrr, and shiver me timbers!

[Huge grin.]

Sorry. Couldn't resist. Norrington and Westley were talking about building a boat, but. That was months ago. They're not here anymore. Anyway. The barrier serves as a blockade.

[aread]

[Eyebrow up. Annnnd yeaaah Kidd just. Ignores that.]

Barriers can be broken, lad. Seems to me this one has been, before. T'ain't wise to put all your faith in such a thing.

[backinakidflash]

All my faith? Never. You don't wanna be inside this barrier.

Um. Y'know. Unless you're supposed to be here, like we are.

[aread]

[Well Kidd technically isn't supposed to be anywhere at the moment, ergo...]

Quite the contradiction, then.

[backinakidflash]

Nobody ever said life makes sense. Keeps it interesting'.

[aread]

That's a shade of optimism I'm not often privy to. What's your name, lad?

[And why in God's good name are you so damned bouncy?]

[backinakidflash]

Man. That's gotta suck. What's the point of life if you can't hope it continues on an upward curve, limit infinity?

Bart Allen. At your service.

[Because no one has figured out how to duct tape him to a chair.]

[aread]

[Wryly,]

Careful to whom you offer those services, boy. And you can call me Kidd.

[backinakidflash]

[Bart laughs at this. Small world.]

You wouldn't take advantage of it, wouldja?

[aread]

If I was planning to, I'd hardly tell you as much. In fact, might be best if I played nice and all.

[backinakidflash]

Sneaky. But, if you were planning to, we kinda wouldn't be having this conversation at all. You're the one who started the whole topic. Why tip me off?

[aread]

Could be I'm trying to get in your confidence for some reason or other, and have it in my head to lead you into a blind by tipping what you think my hand may be.

[Okay, now Kidd's just trolling.]

[backinakidflash]

My confidence doesn't need all those zigzags. I mean, you know that I know that you might be lying. So you know that I know that you know that I am probably coming up with two strategies.

And now I know that you know that I know that you know I've got two strategies and you're working on counters.

Only I'm not new, so I've got nothing holding me to any of it. But you want to know what's up, so it's your move, matey.

[aread]

[Yes, Kidd is definitely fond of you. Good job, Bart.

In a slow, considering sort of way,]

'Matey'.

Surely you've a better grasp of relevant lingo than that.

[Ohhh, it's a challenge. Maybe a mild challenge. But a challenge.]

[backinakidflash]

[The look on his face is 100%, solid-gold smartass, and, yes, he is doing his best to imitate Kidd's accent.]

I'd ask if you wanted to bet on that, but you'd be playing booty. You should find yourself a nice morts and settle down. I hope she's no gill-flurt. Tarts are for prigging, and what if she cuckolds you, eh? Then what? Bone the blackguard! He even bit your witcher-tilter while he was in residence! It's the thummikins for him! Hope they both get crinkums!

[Bart leans in to the camera and raises an eyebrow.]

Is that gonna be good enough, or do I have to work my way through the vocab of every early 1700s novel I've read? That'll take awhile.

threadjack

[asoothingvoice]

[And suddenly and without warning, in 100% 'mom' voice:]

Bart!

[She has no idea what in the world more than half of that means but she has a pretty good idea.]

[backinakidflash]

[That tone is entirely to much like the one Max used to get a lot.]

I was only proving that I know the lingo!

[He is completely justified in this.]

[asoothingvoice]

[Truly the sign of a professional.]

And you couldn't do that without being rude?

[backinakidflash]

[Oh, Max was a professional. Bart made him a professional.]

Those were the first words popping into my head that fit together right!

[asoothingvoice]

[Not the sort of thing to be proud of, Bart.]

How often does saying the first thing that pops into your head work out well for you?

[aread]

[Don't mind Kidd, he'll just be laughing his ass off, shall he?]

A word of advice, lad. I've never in all my days heard anyone talk quite like that. But the words have their veracity, true enough. Leave off the accent next time, though. A man may think you're mocking him.

[backinakidflash]

[If he's laughing, he's not insulted. Excellent. Mrs. Reyes can calm down now.]

Neither've I. Read it, though. Does that count? And I'm not mocking you. Homage is sideswiping imitation.

[aread]

Given that most men of my nature can scarce sign their own mark? What you're reading is the fancy of dandies and dilettantes, less the real thing.

[Definitely not offended. Kidd is way too laid back for that particularity.]

[backinakidflash]

[Bart shrugs at this.]

Hey, take it up with the librarians. I'd prolly like that real stuff better, but. Like you said, not exactly the height of literacy. Besides. Everyone exaggerates in their autobiography.

[aread]

Disease, death, famine, mayhem and murder, that all sounds like a keen idea to you, does it, mate?

[Kidd's tone is mild, but rather deceptively so at this point. Gurl, you did not just imply all that would be fun or awesome.]