tushanshu | 13A05 [AUDIO]

[He sighs and throws his hands up, exasperated. This is hard enough as it is without her helping him out at all.]

Whenever the fu- Whenever you want, alright? Or we can meet at youah place, oah outside, oah any one of the million other places or times you might find preferable. I'm just- I'm tryin' heah, okay? If you're not bullshitting me about- about likin' me and not using me, then I want us to talk.

[He sounds like such a lace curtain motherfucker and he knows it, practically cringing at how pathetic he's being right now. Because he is trying.]

["Or we can meet at your place, or outside, or any one of the million other places or times you might find preferable."]

[ her expression turns almost apologetic at that, not liking the idea that she might be the reason for this reaction. ]

I can be over there in just a bit, if that is alright? [ and at that, she faintly smiles, tilting her head to the side as she watches him a moment. ] I just didn't want to assume anything, that's all.

Not right now. [He responds immediately. Then a pause as he lifts a hand to rub at his eyes.]

I might be meeting with Cobb or somethin'. Will you come by later? Around dinner maybe?

[ and that just gets her to look slightly puzzled. ]

You're meeting Cobb? Have you talked to him?

[ what are you and cobb up too, costigan? ]

I don't know. I think I will be. I just started talking to him.

[A beat.] Does that mean you don't want to meet?

[ she quickly shakes her head, offering him a faint smile as she does. ]

No, of course I still want to.

[ a sigh ]

I just wasn't sure what he was doing, that's all.

[ its a lot more complicated then that, but she isn't about to try to explain all of it. ]

I don't know. I'll tell you tonight, okay? We'll talk.

Okay. [ she smiles faintly nodding in understanding. ]

I'll see you later then.

Tonight.

[And much later that night, Costigan's pacing nervously back and forth in his apartment. He moves to run a hand through his hair and knocks his cap off his head. Stooping to pick it up, he sighs a little and then tosses it over onto a table in the corner. The undercover's in a basic t-shirt and jeans, not really one for dressing up unless the situation explicitly calls for it, but he can't help but be nervous about seeing Ariadne and the many insinuations it brings.

He glances at his watch, wondering when she'll actually come, his mind turning over everything Eames, Cobb, and Arthur all told him over and over again. Eames told him the truth and he's pretty sure that Arthur's lying, the one who's the most guarded. Cobb's too experienced and it's hard to tell, but Costigan would wager that he's lying too. But he wants to separate Ariadne from them, wants to be able to interact with her without the other three getting in the way. Even though he knows it's dumb.]

[ part of her knew that she was being silly for wanting to get to know Billy more than she had already. After all, he already had figured out more than she thought he would and that could only lead to trouble she thought. But, a part of her just didn't care, and assumed that whatever was going on with them all could easily be worked out with just a bit of understanding on everyone's part.

So there she was, just like she said she would, knocking on his door, wearing her jeans and Henley from home, and looking somewhat unsure about just what she might be in for. ]

[Costigan freezes at the sound of the knock and his gaze immediately snaps to the door. If he hadn't taken some of his meds just twenty minutes before, he may have worried that he imagined it. Instead, he's at the door a moment later, taking a deep breath and evening out his expression before he opens it and gives a rough but genuine smile at seeing her there.]

Hey. [He leans into the door as he opens it most of the way, giving her plenty of room to enter while trying to be more casual than he feels. Costigan points a thumb back towards the kitchen.]

I don't know if you ate? I have some leftovers I could heat up.. [He's not good at being domestic, but it seems easier to start with food rather than jumping into things.] ..Or we can.. have a seat, or a drink?

Edited 2013-05-28 17:19 (UTC)

[ she smiles faintly, sliding past him as her hands shove into the pockets of her jeans, letting her eyes slowly drift around his place as she did. ]

No, I’m good. I ate before I came. [ she admitted letting her attention settle back on him with a hint of nervousness. ] I didn't know how long you guys might be.

[ and cooking at home was a good way to keep herself distracted at the ideas about what was going on with them all and cobb now. ]

How did everything go? [ she added as if she was hoping to finally get some actual answers on everything that was going on with them. ]

[Costigan closes the door behind her, hesitates for a second, and then locks it as well. He turns to look at her, giving her a weak smile, then looks away again as he steps past her deeper into his apartment.

His apartment is fairly simple. A stack of personal photos sits on the counter in his kitchen. Everything else is hidden away for now, his drugs, gun, etc all stashed just out of sight.]

I'm pretty sure he's still lying. [Costigan answers honestly, running a hand through his hair. Then he turns to face her suddenly. His voice is still soft.] Are you part of that group or not? When you talk to me.. Are you just a woman or are you with them?

[ she frowns at his words, simply not able to hide the frustration she has over everything with cobb. Before she sighs, furrowing her brow in thought. ]

To be honest, I don’t know what he has been saying to you. [ she easily admitted as she looked back up at Costigan, letting her expression turn almost apologetic. ] He hasn't exactly been talking to the rest of us like he should.

[ which part of her understood, given all that he was and had been going through. But even with all of that, it still had her extremely worried about him, and everything else that came with it. ]

And what exactly do you mean: That group? [ she asked, arching her brow in slight curiosity, and shifting her weight from one leg to the other. ] I work with them, yes.

Do I run and tell them everything? No – of course not.

[He watches her expression as subtly as he can while still intent on catching every shift and nuance. Costigan believes her about not knowing what Cobb is saying, the same way Eames seemed to be confused. Arthur never is, which either means that the guy's really good at what he does or that Cobb's telling the truth; the undercover often errs on the side of caution.]

What do you mean 'like he should?' What should he be telling you? [It's an important answer in his mind, about what their relationship is, the four of them. But he also knows that you need to give a little to get some back.]

The four of you are all from the same place and work together. Cobb was asking on the network about drugs that would leave inner ear function, something to do with lucid dreaming. They said it was a military training program, but the way Eames described it and the things Cobb has said before.. it sounds like a weapon. It sounds like you people find a way to..

[He throws his hands up in the air, trailing off. He has more to the theory than that, but he's already laid his cards on the table too much and something about his theory screams 'weapon,' the kind of thing he really doesn't want to become the victim of if it involves magic like it seems to.]

[ she sighs, unconsciously rubbing at the back of her neck as she yet again gives the room a slow once over, buying her time on how she should explain things to him. ]

It's not a weapon, I can tell you that much. [ she quietly admits as she looks up at him, taking a slow breath as she did. ] It really is a military program. Architects just got involved to help design the dreams that they use.

[ there was no point in lying about any of that, not when she wanted to so hard to trust this man and all that he was saying to her. And she could only shrug her shoulder faintly because of it. ]

And… [ she sighed, frowning at her thoughts. ] Cobb’s been through a lot recently with the program. [ which really was only half of it, but it at least was something she felt might help explain Cobb without betraying the mans trust. ] so I think the dreams are starting to get to him.

[ she paused at that, looking up at him almost unsure of what to say for a moment. ]

I promise you that we have no intentions of hurting anyone. But given what we deal with, there are a few things that we are trying to understand, that's all.

'Get to him' how? [Costigan wasted no time in focusing in on what he perceived as the most important part of what she said. He crossed his arms and stood there awkwardly just inside his own door, watching her.]

If it's for training, then why are you looking for it here? What are you trying to understand?

[He waited for her response, unmoving, giving her all the time she needed to think and respond. The undercover had no intention of rushing her, but he was also going to push as much as she would allow him to in an effort to figure out what was going on. And he was going to watch her, try to ensure that she wasn't lying to him, try to convince himself that his interests in her weren't entirely off base.]

[ she sighed, looking around the room as if to figure out what she should do. This wasn't exactly the easiest thing for her to explain, and trying to do it without putting everyone in jeopardy was even harder for her. But given what Costigan had already slowly learned about them and what he was trying to learn, she had to be somewhat honest with him here. ]

What if this [ a beat, looking back up at him as a small frown started to tug at the corner of her mouth. ] What if this isn't real? And we’re just stuck in some dream?

[ she stopped a that, her brow arching in a faint curiosity as she waited for Costigan to reply. Simply know that how she approached the rest of it from here on out, really depended on how he reacted/responded to it all.

(no pressure, Costigan) ]

[His expression remained unchanged as he watched and listened, clearly not immediately dismissing the idea but finding no revelation in it either.]

My dreams aren't usually this vivid and it doesn't explain a lot of things. [The reply came as if he was thinking it out for himself. Even though it didn't seem to fit, it would explain some things and if someone was much more familiar with dreaming, it would make even more sense.]

If it is a dream, then why are you looking for a drug to make you unconscious and how, exactly, do you plan to wake up?

No, it explains a lot, Billy. [ which was only said with a faint sigh, knowing he wasn’t going to even why she thought that. she can’t blame him though, he wasn’t meant to know this part of it all – the dream wouldn’t work fully if everyone knew after all. ] Getting lost in a dream – not fully sure what reality is – it’s a real possibility for people like Cobb, Arthur, Eames and I.

[ which only has her, yet again, sighing as she shakes her head at her thoughts, letting her hand start to unconsciously rub at the back of her neck. ]

So we need those drugs in order for us to find the answers to this place.

[ it’s vague, she knows that. but she really does just want to take her time with him – let him work out things how he needs. And let him ask what he thinks is of importance to him. ]

You know that's not an answer. [He muttered lightly, heaving a sigh with it but not nearly as frustrated as before. Costigan couldn't understand without Ariadne explaining all of it, but she still didn't trust him completely, just as he didn't trust her. He couldn't blame her for that. It was that carefulness amidst honesty that drew him to her in the first place. Or, well, one of the things.]

[The Bostonian uncrossed his arms and dropped his hands to his sides. He took the couple steps necessary to close much of the distance between them, allowing him to look down at her and judge her expression more clearly.]

Tell me honestly that you never used me. [It was half whispered, given their proximity now.]

[ she frowns, nodding slightly in agreement. She knows damn well it’s not very much of an answer without understanding all the details behind it. But that is a tricky thing for her to try to explain to someone she doesn't fully know or trust – even if she wants to.

At his change of proximity, she can’t help but sigh, looking up at him somewhat unsure and maybe a bit apologetically. ]

They told me to stay away from you, to be honest. [ well, cobb did anyway. ] I thought you might be trying to use us – me – and I wanted to know if that was true. [ she quietly admitted with a shrug of her shoulder. ] But I didn't use you. Everything I've said to you was because I wanted to know.

[His muscles tense at her reply, at the idea of her being told to stay away from him and her continuing to speak with him just the same. At the idea that he might have used her. Costigan simply stares down at her for a few seconds in silence, his eyebrows pulling together as if he can read every thought she's ever had just by looking at her expression right now.

Without saying anything, he lifts one hand to rest in the crook between her neck and the shoulder she just shrugged, resting his thumb lightly along her jaw. Then he leans forward - not quickly, but without hesitation, trying to kiss her.

The heightened emotions of the situation, the loneliness, because he knows it's a bad idea. There are a dozen reasons why Costigan can't help but try to create intimacy in this moment, but he pushes them all aside and hopes that he hasn't made a complete misjudgment.]

[ not wanting to disregard the sudden intimacy that was between them, she found herself meeting him halfway, as she closed her eyes and lightly kissed him, letting her lips linger on his for just a fraction of a moment, before she pulled away and looked up at him almost apologetically unsure. ]

We can't do this. [ she quietly admitted as she took a slow breath. Knowing full well, that there was so many reasons she couldn't let herself get too attached to anyone. ]

[Costigan dropped his hand as she withdrew from him, then straightened and frowned over at her. He wasn't angry with her, but it was clear that it wasn't entirely the response he was hoping for. The undercover lifted his hands and pressed his index knuckles against his eyes, trying to focus. When he lowered them again, his frown had evened to neutrality. He looked to Ariadne again.]

Why? [He asked honestly. It wasn't demanding or pleading in any way; rather, it was as if he was asking why she liked a particular kind of weather, interested but almost detached.]

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13A05 [AUDIO]

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