002 Audio - The One Where Mike Tries To Barter

[michaeljangelo]

So...okay. Here's the thing. I can live frugal. I'm good at living frugal. There are fewer people out there who can dumpster dive as efficiently as I can. Trust me, my stone soup? Is amazing. I can make a Reclaimed Tuna Casserole Surprise that will knock your socks off.

As awesome as I am, even I can't make something from literally nothing, which is kind of what I've got at the moment. I say kind of because I have a whole bunch of little pots of home-made Floating Fruit preserves, jams, and jellies, and now that I'm officially out of money, I'm looking to trade them for...anything edible that isn't floating fruit. I've had my fill, thanks.

So, anyone out there interesting in jam for say...chocolate?
Or jam for bread?
Or jam for...seriously, anything.

Comments

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[michaeljangelo]

Floating.

[He waits a beat for that to sink in.]

No seriously, that's what they're called: Floating Fruit. When I saw the kids eating them around here I figured they couldn't be poisonous so I picked as many as I could, which...was apparently a lot. Too many, really.

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[alphatar]

Floating fruit?

[Somehow she manages to fight the temptation to let go of the pot to see if it floated.]

I take it back, you’re starting to sound more like a spirit. I think. Hope you don’t mind, I kept the butter fresh, so it might take a while to thaw out. [She says as she tugs at the sling so her bag rustles slightly.] So ho many pots did you bring?

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[michaeljangelo]

Uh...This many.

[Mike holds his satchel open to reveal as many pots as would fit in the average messenger-style bag. The narration leaves that open to interpretation.

It's a testament to his skill as a ninja that he was able to transport them all in that bag and still not make any noise when he ran.]

Frozen butter is the best kind of butter. Well...the best kind after melted on toast.

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[alphatar]

[Korra’s eyes widen when she looks in his messenger bag.] Wow. Are you sure this is a fair trade? Because I can take just a few. [She can’t help but feel guilty over giving him so little for so much.]

[Putting the pot she had into her bag she starts taking out her side of the trade until she’s holding all of them with both hands.] Just put how ever much you want into mine and I’ll fill yours up.

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[michaeljangelo]

Uh...okay.

[This would probably be easier if Mike takes the bag off, so he moves to do so. Only...the easiest way to do is this is to pull his head mostly into his shell and slide the strap across his shoulders.

He's not even thinking about how weird this might be to watch as he does this.

Mike then lowers into a crouch and begins to remove pot after pot from his bag. When he's done he stands up and offers the open bag to her.]


Here.

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[alphatar]

[Oh it’s weird and Korra’s lips jut forward as she continues staring at him wide eyed as he does this. Mechanically she places the food into his bag, unable to break off her gaze.]

Did you just-

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[michaeljangelo]

[Mike raises one brow ridge at her.
What is this girl getting on about?]

Did I just...what?

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[alphatar]

Your head… [Quickly she shakes her head.] Never mind.

Are there any other spirits I should know about? [She has a thousand questions about the Spirit World, but she doesn’t really want to bother him. Ikki wasn’t exactly an ideal role model to follow in this situation.]

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[michaeljangelo]

[He mouths the words my head, brow still furrowed...until it isn't. Damn. April warned me about doing that.]

Sorry, it's...it's force of habit.

[There's a vague hand gesture that indicates his whole head/shoulder region.]

Well...there are a handful more turtles like me, but, that's pretty much all I know about.

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[alphatar]

[She adjust her sling bag so it’s back over her shoulder.]

It’s okay, I’ve just never seen a- ah well, a man sized turtle spirit do that before. [As if anyone ever has.]

Oh wow. I wonder if you all got trapped here because some kind of affinity for Tu Vishan. [Thoughtfully she rubs her chin with her fingers.]

Normally the Avatar goes to the spirits for guidance, but instead we’re trading food. Um, any wisdom you have stored away Mike?

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[michaeljangelo]

It's okay, a lot of people haven't. We're kind of few in number and really sneaky that way.

[He's all happy he kind of knows what's going on, and then she drops that last question on him.]

Uh...wisdom? From me?
Uh...well...Don't eat yellow snow?

Or uh...how about: Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza?

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[alphatar]

I’ll try and work more on my spiritual duties to see if I can help you all get back to the Spirit world. [Nothing reminded her that she should continue to train without her master than this new situation.]

…

[While she can’t argue that is very good advice having lived in the south pole, Korra’s expression is that of someone who was given a consolation prize. A bad one at that.]

You’re kidding.





Pizza?

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[michaeljangelo]

[Mike's smile can only be described as sheepish.]

I'm really not all that great at spiritual stuff either. Between you and me? I get kind of bored really quickly.

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[alphatar]

But you are spiritual stuff!

[No Avatar should have a temper as bad as hers.]

How can you get bored of that??

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[michaeljangelo]

[Yelling breeds defensiveness.]

Hey! I'm an American, that reserves me the right to get bored of anything I want to!

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[alphatar]

You're a what-can? [That's actually throwing her off enough to deter her from the ramp she was taking to frustrated land.]

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[michaeljangelo]

American. It's the name of the country I'm from.

[Woo hoo! Deflect achieved!]

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[alphatar]

[She sits down on a nearby crate.] There's countries in your spirit world?

[Oh gawd Korra. STOP.]

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[michaeljangelo]

Yup, and cities.

[Oh cripes, seriously Mike. SERIOUSLY?!]

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[alphatar]

[How to Dig Yourself a Hole by Mike D. Turtle.]

Wow, I never would have thought it was like that. I’ve always thought it would be weird, like some kind of dream after eating too many flaming fire cakes. [Not that it’s ever happened to her or anything.]

So when you first tried to meditate and pass on to the Spirit World did anything happen, like a barrier or something?

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[michaeljangelo]

[You know what doesn't help Mike? The fact that he's had training sessions involving the Astral Plane...and done poorly at them.

Because sitting still is not something he excels at. And meditation? Is really just a fancy way of saying: sit still.]

Noooot really. I mean...I got smacked upside the head by a walking stick, but mostly because I was trying to make my brothers laugh by pretending to snore.

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[alphatar]

[Wow, at least Korra managed to meditate eventually.]

While meditating? Wow, and my master thought I was bad… [She’s looking at him like he’s a complex math problem wrapped in an enigmatic riddle and a ribbon.]

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[michaeljangelo]

[And a shell. Don't forget the shell.
Mike merely smiles awkwardly as she looks at him.]

Sitting still is boring.

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[alphatar]

You know Mike, I can’t argue with that. I couldn’t sit still until that was pretty much all I had to do. Actually helped me out. So are you a spirit of speed or something? Because racing you was one of the hardest things I’ve done, and trust me, my life’s been nothing but training.

[She furrows her brow while looking at him, shell and all.]

That’d be pretty ironic.

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[michaeljangelo]

Because turtles are slow?

[He's giving you A Look, Korra. A very Significant Look.]