001 ● VIDEO

[sureisaguy]

[ The video feed loads and Mikey comes into view, frowning in concentration with his tongue sticking out. Computers are not his best subject. After about ten seconds he seems to realize that he's broadcasting and leans in, grabbing the console screen as if he can see everyone if he just gets close enough. ]

Uhhh... hello? This thing on?

[ He waves a two-fingered hand in front of the camera and sits back slightly. ]

So um, anyone know if this turtle gets DSL? 'Cause I gotta send a word back to my bros and I can't find the internet thingy on this computer.

[ Squinting at the console, a look of understanding dawns on his face. ]

Ohhhh what if I press--

Comments

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[sureisaguy]

How far's a lightyear?

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[notdreaming]

It's the distance light can travel in a year.

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[sureisaguy]

Oh.

[ Mikey squints. ]

How far is that?

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[notdreaming]

[ She sighs. Such primitive worlds you people come from. ]

A very, very, very long way.

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[sureisaguy]

[ Hey it's not Mikey's fault he only underwent basic schooling while squatting in a sewer with a giant rat.

It is however his fault that he didn't pay very much attention. ]

Coooool!

[ Mikey tilts his head. ]

You don't look like an alien though. Aren't you supposed to have like, tentacles and stuff?

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[notdreaming]

[ She raises an eyebrow and gives him such a look. ]

Not to my knowledge. Do most aliens you know have tentacles?

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[sureisaguy]

[ A look that goes sailing straight over his head. ]

Uh, yeah, like all of them? They've got creepy little eyes and sharp teeth too, and they drive robots!

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[notdreaming]

I've never seen anyone like that. What planet are they from?

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[sureisaguy]

Well, it's not so much another planet. They're from some place called Dimension X, but they wanna set up on Earth and mutate everyone.

[ Mikey wiggles his fingers to demonstrate tentacles waving deviously. ]

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[notdreaming]

From an alternate universe? Then they're not really aliens at all. [ Come on dude basic sci-fi rules ]

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[sureisaguy]

Nuh-uh! They're totally aliens.

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[notdreaming]

Only in the sense that all of us are aliens in Keeliai.

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[sureisaguy]

Right!

[ Wait. ]

Nuh-uh, I'm not an alien! I'm a turtle!

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[notdreaming]

Do you even know what an alien is? [ Srsly ]

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[sureisaguy]

Uh, yeah. They're from other planets. Like Mars!

[ Duh. He totally read that in his comics. ]

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[notdreaming]

That's one definition. 'Alien' can also refer to anyone who isn't native to a place. Anyone from this planet who didn't already live on Keeliai would be an alien in Keeliai. So anyone from Earth who wasn't from New York would be an alien in New York.