Joint Post: We're not sorry

[backinakidflash]

[ITP: Both boys are in civvies. Bart's words and actions are in red, and Kon's are in black for the sake of clarity. Also, assuming Bart picked up a pregnant tribble that gave birth when he returned home last night, he has nearly 1500 tribbles in his apartment.]

[The video shows nothing but multicolored fur. The pile of tribbles is going down fast, and, eventually, Bart Allen is on screen. He is vibrating the tribbles into a sealed box with a few teeny airholes in it. There are more tribbles scattered around the room behind him.]

Ok. These tribbles don't play around. The first one did the whole miracle of life performance last night. There was a baby boom by the time I woke up this morning, and we just made it through like the Big Bang of Birth.

[During the time that Bart is zooming around, putting away tribbles, there's a mutter over the sound coming from the tribbles. Kon comes into view, shuffling in the background and holding a few of the little critters. He's singing and only getting louder.]

Like a true natures child, we were born, born to be wild! We can climb so high I never wanna die! Born to be wiiiiild! Boooorn to be wiiiild

[He's practically yelling the last parts and drawing out the last 'wild' as he drops the tribbles he was holding and breaks open the box Bart had just but them in.]

We've got a major infestation going at ME-3B. There's no way they're gonna -

[Bart has been attempting to talk over the singing in a normal tone, but, by the time Kon hits the word 'die', Bart has given up and quietly waited it out. A silent Bart is never a good sign.

Go! Be free! Be wild my fuzzy little brethren! Escape the box of oppression and go! [He's standing with his arms thrown up in the air and a very large grin on his face.]

[When he hears the shrrrrip of the box ripping, Bart whips around seat and watches the tribbles fall to the ground in slow motion.]

Oh, that tears it.

[Bart's gone upstairs in a blur, and no time later tribbles come flying down the stairs. Dozens of the flea rags join the ones already visible in the room with every passing frame. After a second, the closet door whips open so hard the knob dents the wall. The heaps of tribbles deplete faster than they appeared, the door slams shut, and Bart is leaning against it, one hand gripping either side of the door frame.]

[Kon was still downstairs and suddenly he's knocked to the ground by the sudden avalanche of tribbles, letting out an undignified yelp as he does so. He's sat on the floor and rubbing his head as he tilts his head back to look at Bart with an even bigger grin.]

KON. If you free the tribbles again, I'll swap your hair gel for crazy glue!

Dude, that's just totally uncalled for! You're locking them up, they didn't do anything. False imprisonment! Animal cruelty!

[As he's talking though he's also holding up three fingers as if he's doing some kind of salute. It was meant to be a promise but he can't be bothered to add that part vocally. And let's be honest, he's not going to be keeping it.]

It's not animal cruelty! It's speedster protection! Theyateallmyfood!

[Though he does get to his feet and plops himself on the chair Bart had been sitting in before and points to the camera and then to Bart.]

He's a fuzzball hater. And he's cruel.

I am not!

[Kon spins once on the seat and stops to face Bart.]

So lame dude.

[Bart makes his way back over, stooping a few times to pick up strays that he missed. He shoves them at Kon and leans past him to get back to the matter at hand, ignoring what Kon is saying simultaneously. FOR NOW.]

You should get more food for the tribbles.

If anyone has any ideas that don't involve the words 'flea circus for giants', I'm all ears. Clock's ticking. I don't want to know what happens to the closet tomorrow morning.

[Kon moves the chair back as he looks at the tribbles now in his lap and spins. Muttering something about 'expecting you Mister Allen'. As Bart is talking he looks up quickly with a huffy expression, eyes narrowing.]

Uuuuh best idea ever! Don't even deny it!

If I get more, they're gonna EAT MORE, Dr. No. And we are not making a flea circus!

[Kon looks to the screen.] Best idea ever, right?

We should totally check to see what's happening in the closet right now! Maybe they've already multiplied. Let's see!

[The closet doors rattle a little.]

[Bart's does a slow turn towards the ominously shaking door. Impossible.]

The old guy said every twelve hours. They just finished spawning. I think they finished. Not gonna lie, I stopped counting at 500. I've. Gotta do something about this. Wrap it up asking for help over there. Get Tim's attention. And. I don't even know who else. Kyle's good for weird shit, right?

[Bart's gone that fast.]

They are way better than Krypto. [And he means Krypto as in the small dog he had back in Hawaii that basically hated him. It was mutual though. So tribbles? Waaaaay better.

So Kon is left alone and he huffs, rolling his eyes and looks to the screen.]

Heeeeey! [He waves his hands which will blur for people watching.] I guess someone has to come over here before Bart bursts a blood vessel or something. Eff Why eye, not my fault.

[Bart blurs to a stop in front of the closet in time to hear that someone is gonna burst a blood vessel. He's carrying large flakes of shed shell that feel surprisingly sturdy. Bart nails them in place over the door, blurring like a cartoon cat that doesn't realize that Pepe LePeu is already behind them.]

This is S.S Awesome Teens, Maydaymayday.

[When Bart's done, he puts his back against the door and slides down it, his legs slightly bent at the knees and spread into a V. He shakes his head at Kon's back before his eyes focus on the cameea. He spins his index finger around beside his temple in what he's hoping is the truly universal sign for crazy and mouths 'help me.']

[Both boys will be using Bart's console to respond.]

Comments

video

[escarabajo]

[Jaime just STARES AT THE SCREEN with his mouth hanging half-open for a couple moments before snapping out of it and realizing that, hey, they probably actually need a hand to not be smothered over there.]

Should I bring anything? Like a shovel, or a pocket dimension to keep all of those in?

video

[backinakidflash]

[For a split second, Bart is looking at the screen like Jaime is the most brilliant person ever.]

No. No. I can't use the Speed-Force as a tribble dump. What kind of pocket dimension do you got?

[Video]

[mrsarcastic003]

[Just... staring.]

...Oh, my god. What are you two doing?

[Video]

[backinakidflash]

Trying to cope? Thanking whatever gods there are that I don't have dander allergies?

[Bart flails his hands wildly.]

The closet is full. I could use another one, but this one's at like critical mass. There's not enough room for great-grandtribs.

video;

[urbanmagic]

[... Oh dear.]

That's one heck of a rabbit season you're having there. Anything I can do to help?

I don't think any pocket dimension wants these guys to take over.

[And really, Kon knows she can zap things. If Bart hasn't figured out she's magical, she'll probably let him know today.]

video;

[backinakidflash]

[Bart shakes his head a little. He suspects something with conjuring because of the carrots that filled her own apartment.]

Only if you've worked out the carrot capers you were having. Food is the last thing we need here. OK - I'm a bit hungry. I'll hit up a restaurant.

NO CARROTS, Traci. Otherwise, I'm game for trying anything.

video;

[escarabajo]

Traci, do you need backup? I'm pretty sure Kon's lost it.

Video;

[saved7]

[A pale, scarred face peers at the screen. Miria is at first interested in the speed, but the animal infestation looks like a problem that might just get worse.]

Do you need them killed?

Video;

[backinakidflash]

[That's an intense look on a girl. Bart's not used to seeing people that banged up, and he figures she'd follow through.]

Not at the moment. They like being petted...

video;

[wingedwarrior]

[Shayera is trying to understand exactly what it is these kids are on. Then part of her thinks it's best not to ask, so the other obvious question it is.] I'm not sure what to make of this other than you kids might need help getting rid of those... things.

video;

[backinakidflash]

[This one is back on the Speed-Force. And he has no idea what's going on with Kon being so nuts.]

I think we do. Kon keeps veto-ing putting them on ice.

[video]

[wherethestoryis]

[Lois is at 'work' in Earth Sector, and her face is more than a little concerned.]

Bart, is it? I'm Lois Lane, I don't think we've talked before. [Just establishing that she has a reason to know things about Kryptonians.] The tribbles, you're not acting as extreme about them as Kon is. Have you seen anyone else who is?

[Because this might mean she needs to get home.]

[video]

[backinakidflash]

[Bart is tilting his head and eying the woman on the screen. Why is that reporter from Metropolis here?]

I dunno. I don't think so. It's hard to resist touching them, y'know? But I'm not off-the-wall goofball about them like he is.

[zerotoawesome]

Whoa... Your house is going to be so freaking nasty in like three hours ago.

[tactile_telekinesis]

[Kon has come close to the camera, either he's grinning or baring his teeth before he bites and then pulls back a little.]

Barts place, so not cleaning it up.

[Video]

[alpha_squad_leader]

[Vic's looking a little better than he was the other day. He's certainly less pale and lost green is regrowing. His apartment is surprisingly tribble-free though.]

Want me to come scare them off? These things freak out when I get near them.

[Video]

[backinakidflash]

Ennnh. Not so sure about that. Do we really want them lolling down the street like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes?

video;

[chiot]

That song's stupid.

[ YUP THAT'S TOTALLY THE POINT OF THIS POST ]

video;

[tactile_telekinesis]

You're face is stupid. [He doesn't mean it Gav, but RUDE!]

video;

[sciencewhizard]

[ Snort. Wow. Suddenly Wally's glad to be friends with Dick. ]

Steppenwolf? Nice choice, buddy, but you might wanna save it for something a little more hardcore than these fuzzballs.

Oh, and need an extra pair of hands?

video;

[backinakidflash]

[Oh, sure, Wally. Like this kind of stuff never happened to you.]

Do you solemnly swear to lock up the tribbles, all the tribbles, and nothing but the tribbles?

And to not lose your shit like Konnie here?

Video;

[andaway]

[At least Clark had enough sense to be... well, Clark as he replies from his own house. Even though that will make things a bit awkward when he has to explain why he was acting the way he was.]

Born free... as free as the rain blows... [And then he starts cracking up. Because this is hilarious, apparently.]

Video;

[backinakidflash]

That is not helping! That is so not helping! Howisthathelpingwhywouldyouevenstartanothersongthisisnotasingalongatthecubscoutsclubhouse-

[There's a lot more to the rant, but there's only so much that technology can catch, and Bart's sped up to the point where he finishes talking a millisecond later.]

[video]

[takeittothemax]

[Well. That explains a lot. He's currently petting one in a sad attempt to look like a Bond villain. It'd probably work better if there weren't another dozen lurking somewhere on screen.]

I'm betting coats are already taken.

[At least he found Abbot and Costello.]

[video]

[backinakidflash]

Huh? Coats?

[Bart gasps.]

You mean like fur coats? What's next, are you going to start clubbing baby seals?

[He would not put this past Max.]

[mopirates_moproblems]

Containing them isn't enough. You'll be overrun shortly if you don't begin taking more drastic measures.

[backinakidflash]

Whenever someone says 'drastic measures', I hear 'killing'. And I don't even know if I'm going to be able to get them frozen without interference. Let alone something more drastic.

[raptorcanaria]

What.

[backinakidflash]

[Bart shakes an armload of the strays that he's managed to wrangle at the screen.]

TRIBBLES.

video;

[cravats]

[Lyall is not impressed. Not impressed at all.]

That explains where they came from. I didn't mind when there were just enough for dinner, but it's getting somewhat excessive now.

video;

[backinakidflash]

What - don't tell me they're loose in the building?!

[They got loose. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod - ]

OH MY GOD YOU ATE THEM??

action:

[ihope]

[It's the morning after the post went up. Replying earlier would have been asinine. He hadn't expected the little fuzzy fuckers to actually somehow worm their way into his suite.]

[But they did.]

[Significantly less than how many must be swarming Bart's rooms by now, but Lex doesn't seem to mind marching over and potentially having to see the havoc first hand. ME-3B. He's knocking on a door until he finds the kid who started this.]

action:

[backinakidflash]

[It's some time before there's a response. With a knee-deep, wall-to-wall tribble carpet, Bart is forced to wade across the room. There's no room to run, and vibrating his molecules to go through the tribbles won't work because there's nowhere to stop vibrating without getting splinched with a few dozen tribbles.

When Bart finally reaches the door, he has to yank on it to get it to move at all, grunting as he does so. With the door about 18 inches open, he gives up and leans around it to see who it is.

Oh. Well. Um.

So this is bad.]

Hi?

[Several tribbles begin falling into the hallway.]

video

[justlittle]

[One little tribble seems to have found its way to ME-1A. Bean holds it at arms length.]

I found something of yours. Do you want it back for your... collection?

video

[backinakidflash]

Crap. How are they getting out of here? They don't have feet!

[Bart hangs his head.]

Yeah. I'll take it. Might as well try and keep them localized.