tushanshu | Voice;

So I know for human babies, you're supposed to play like Mozart next to their crib while they're sleeping to make them super geniuses or whatever - what about turtle babies? Is there like... a Symphonic Whale Calls Orchestra we can get a CD of or something?

Aquadude? Aquakid? Other Aquafolks? Can I get a weigh-in here?

What are the rest of you turtle-parents doing for your Mack truck cab sized turtle baby eggs? New parent anxiety, you know how it goes.

Private to Vanessa;

Hey girly, we missed some lessons due to sudden onset underwater turtle. Wanna schedule a make-up?

Private to Jaybird;

Soooo, did we go to the turtle dance? Did we make friends? Did we get laid? PS: you need it.

[ translation: are you alive, where are you, can i stalk you, hey, hi. oh wait, he knows something better ]

And on the side of shit you're actually interested in - by the way, I'm a weapons genius, do you want more stuff to kill people with? Because that can be arranged.

Private Kyle;

Uh, sound off? Olly olly oxen free? Marco?

[ basically, hey, what's up, bro, he misses you, did underwater dead turtle demons eat you? ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've occasionally been singing to ours, though I'm running out of songs I know.

I know the feeling, man. There's only so many kid-safe songs I have memorized until all that's left is Katy Perry and Kanye.

[Not his kind of music but he's picked up on more than one song from having lived in a school full of teenagers, so he can relate to that part.]

Yeah, I'd skip those.

I'd change it to story telling, but I'd either forget how the story goes in the books or end up telling the grimmer version by accident.

Huh, yeah, that might work. Maybe stick to Disney, you know? Give the dramatic retelling of The Little Mermaid? Maybe the turtle can relate?

[He snorts at that.]

I'd say it's something I have to see, but I'll be doing it as well. Maybe not The Little Mermaid, I'll leave that to you.

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