tushanshu | VOICE.

[Have a thoughtful, though not quite so solemn as usual Enjolras on your screen!]

So it can do that. It is thanks to friends, I think, that I am still here on the turtle after things were rough so lately. My...

[What DOES he call Combeferre? The term 'boyfriend' feels so juvenile, and 'lover' is not exactly true. 'Parner' has an ambiguity to it that feels like a lie...]

...the man I love and who loves me was one who saved me here, but you are right that there are others. My other friends who've come here from my world... We died together there and here they've saved me from myself if I can give an example without sounding inane

You can indeed give such an example without sounding such, sir.

What warms my heart most is that... you suffered so, even I can tell that much for who would not when dying with friends, but found love here. That is most admirable.

I think it is this place itself which changed me, somehow, perhaps by giving me the chance. It's strange to think I found it here, after our deaths, but I can hardly question when so far it's done no harm to anything I stand for here.

There is indeed worse things in life than to be given second chances. Especially when it is placed in the hands of those that will do something with it.

Quite so. And I intend to do my best at improving things for foreigners here for as long as I have but also to embrace the things I could not have in life. It is a good thing, truly.

Then it seems like those who brought us are as mad as I thought... they chose wisely with you.

There IS a certain madness to it, still, and I admit the method and the reason baffle me. If I had been at home in the midst of my lifetime and its work, it would feel far worse but there are so many THAT has happened to.

Happy as I am personally, it bothers me, I do admit ,that others are here quite against their will when they have something to return to at home. One would wish that the power that brings us here could offer us the choice of coming, first of all.

I think I would have taken it still, had it been properly explained if I knew what it meant.

Do forgive me for saying so... but those that have power like the ones that brought us here... they rarely care about our consent.

My world was ruled by Gods that spoke only to one man. They exist and they breathe just as you and I do, but they do not stop any horrors from happening. It is not that they can't, but that they won't. I know their ways... and so you must not be upset with them.

Do you try to capture every bug that happens to enter your home to let it go free? Or do you kill them? Or do you only kill a few? What makes that insect more important than the others? I'd say... a brief moment of charity. Though, I wonder if my rambling words sound just like that... rambling.

Of course they do not. I would not imagine they did. And that is where the problem lies. There's no forgiveness needed when you speak the truth.

[Enjolras does not like the truth, but denying unpleasantries never got anyone anything before, and he does not think it is about to now.]

What bothers me even more than the fact that it is happening though, is that so many of us simply accept it. In the most general of terms, of course.

We had a king who did the same as in your world at home and the people managed to put an end to his reign but the Parliament gave us another in his place. Most of what our new "king" and our leaders did only made the divides between the people worse, and they had very little chance of any sort of determination.

But of course we were upset with such things, and continued to be. There was nothing else to be but upset, and to fight it then. Though I speak of men instead, I think it would be difficult for me not to attempt to fight gods who played the same games as our government played with the people.

[There ARE those who have pointed out that Enjolras would send strongly worded missives to God, railing against him if such were possible, and if Enjolras believed in one, so it would not be the first time the idea has been brought up to him.]

I doubt that I would win perhaps, with gods, instead of men, but it would seem we MUST be upset and angry if we wish to even try to change such things. It would seem we must find ways to fight them if we wish a just existence in any world.

[Through all of this, Enjolras has not raised his voice, and he still appears to be calm, save for something in his gaze that's rooted on the barricade still.]

That is why being brought here, despite the good things I have found must remain mixed for me, I think. And I do not think that the Empress, or the others here are inherently more powerful than we are at a stretch. It is said that the God many believe in where I come from has eyes even for the sparrow, so he must have them for men.

It is hard to conceive of gods that truly think of men as insects, but in any case, surely other men can band together to chance being thought of as men. Even in a failed attempt where they are...squashed [And there's a tiny hint of an ironic smile there.], it is far better that they tried it, yes?

At any rate, more self determination here is needed in whatever form that takes. Any part of it is a start.

I suppose it is, because it is pointless to try to fight against what is happening. What would anyone have us do? What is it that we could do? Hurting this place is no more than hurting ourselves now... as unfortunate as that is.

Kings are foolish men. They lack honor, I fear, because they are not as knights. Of course, I speak only of what I've read in the histories of my world. There are no more kings where I come from. There is only the order brought by the Knights of the Seal. I think that is better.

A general knows the human condition more than a king would who sits upon a throne, because a general has wandered through the battlefields. If a man does it enough times, they grow sick and wish to make a world where they can live without seeing such a sight. That is what kings need.

Still, I repeat what I said that I know not what we could do that would not end up hurting ourselves in the end. [ Yaha goes quiet for a time. ] Your God sounds so much more merciful than the ones that I have encountered. I feel a swell of jealousy burn in my heart to know that yours cares even for a sparrow while mine would rather send lightning down upon its head.

And you shall start this determination? I hope that you will... because already your words stir something within me, even if I may sound as though I am arguing.

There ARE ways and steps to take here, to make a few things better, and to work for larger ones. I dare say we can hardly overthrow an empire as foreigners just now, but we can begin to make life better. It is not as it once was, in the days of the rationing but the empress here is still keeping her secrets, still engineering our arrivals and people still appear and disappear with little warning.

[Grantaire, Marius's Cosette, Daahd, The list is starting to grow the more time Enjolras is here.]

I do not entirely trust that things are not being kept from us for one, as it comes to the way we're chosen to come here, to other things that I know have been kept from us, and the nature of...we were told that we've been brought here to stand against a dark being, but have so little information on anything here.

Have you noticed that they tell us, all the time, that things we ask are the business of the Empress? What if those things they are not saying are the things that may help us here, or are the answers to things we might do to help ourselves? Sometimes one may get into the libraries but even those are guarded still...

There is much that we can do now without leading directly into things that will harm the population, I expect. I would throw myself into a greater risk this moment, but I would not do the same or inflict those same consequences on anyone who was not able to determine for themselves if if was right for them to do so. If we are careful, we might have that determination, yes.

A group of us, from my home, will be having a meeting soon, to focus on such things. If you would like to be a part of it, I will pass on that information when we've found the time and place.

You are right when you speak of kings as foolish men. Kings and their class as a whole. Content to let the people fight their battles for them and to sacrifice said people...at least in my experience of them. The generals though, and the soldiers...it's very rare that they do not follow the bidding of the kings because they're given little other choice. Very rare, but we had one who stood with the people instead, who championed their rights, and spoke against the king's regime he'd been promoted to defend.

He understood, because he'd seen it, as you say. I do agree the generals have seen much more of life. It comes to what they choose to do with it, I think, but surely there is a better chance with them than the others.

I do not know that that God exists, truly. I've seen no evidence for such but even so, the prospect is far better than your world's.

But there are ways here to make things better, and I know that. They will need to be smaller, yes, than I have known, but small changes do build. If you are interested to know more...that is why I am here.

I suppose it would be too much to ask for a warning before they vanish, since we were not given a warning when we came to be here.

[ The elf smiles soft to his dear friend now. ] The reason why there is so littler information... I believe we are meant to be the fodder in this fight. Those meant to throw ourselves against that darkness until it is tired, and we are ... exhausted. For you and I, that means little... we have already died. We have already kissed and loved the God of Death. He has held us close in his arms and made us feel safe. But for others... it is unfortunately not going to be so easy for them.

Anyway, I am told that death is not permanent here. So that kiss and embrace will be a short one, then we shall return to being fodder. Throwing ourselves once more until ... even as our bodies are given back to us, the phantom pain will follow us everywhere. [ He closes his eyes and looks down. ]

What reason do the pawns need to know what the king and queen will do? The less knowledge anyone has... the more complacent they are. That is why kings of the past kept their subjects ignorant. [ Why the Knights themselves kept the public ignorant, even if it was against the wishes of his original general. ]

I would like to come with you. As funny as that might sound since I sound so defeated. I am not. I am just aware of my standing here, and just like I was aware in my world. [ There is a moment when it seems like he would say more, explain more, but from the look, he feels that this one will understand what he means. That he was from the rags and that has always been his place -- beneath another. ]

The choice is always with us, or so I am told, but there are those that have no choice. Or see none. For them, I feel a great sense of pity. Do you not feel the same?

I would rather have proof that your God lives rather than mine. I am smothered with the knowledge that they exist. I know they exist, but I do not believe in them. There is great importance in this, but it seems you have already learned this lesson. Know it is there, but never trust for when your heart opens to such darkness... your cause will lose its light and everyone will be crushed in shadows.

I believe that is why you are here, too.

Indeed. If we are meant to be kept off guard by whatever force is bringing us here, whether it is Empire sanctioned or not, I suppose that letting us know so that we might make plans IS far too much.

[He should make plans, he thinks, absently. Just in case of anything. He does not intend to vanish entirely again, but even so. His effects, the things along those lines... Enjolras makes a mental note to fill Combeferre in on what to do with those, as unsettling as discussing it IS.

It is less unsettling than the matter of that death though.]

Man is born free and everywhere he is in chains. Someone who I admire greatly said as such. I would have hoped it was a matter of our world alone, that we might work to eliminate those chains as his work proposed, but it seems that the chains here are, though invisible, much more tangible indeed.

And yes, complacency that we will be content in repeating the cycle for eternity perhaps. The longer we grow used to it, the more we fuel the future generations for the same...There ARE some children here. I fear what they are learning from this.

Indeed, they learn they have no choice, as some others do now. For those who are not able to try taking or making it, those of us who have the chance to stand up, should.

[Ah, opening his heart to darkness...Enjolras knows of that moment too well. He stepped up and he did so because it was necessary, every time, in the service of something greater than his soul, but it has taken much for him to regain such, especially after his reminder a few months ago.]

I do not think that my cause lost its light, nor that my friends who stood for it were crushed by shadows when we died, but they did sacrifice for it, certainly. There are more things to be crushed than the body and we did not find those dying with us. Though yes, one must be careful.

[Saint-Just again, he thinks, his finger going to his earring which he touches, briefly, to remind him that while taking the man's wisdom and his spirit as an inspiration, he comes ever too close to his follies as well. That is why he has and needs les amis now, and any others who can keep him grounded now.

And ah, he ought to introduce himself.]

My name is Enjolras. I do not think I said before. I will do what I must here, as I can.

[ Yaha nods and laughs softly. ] It would be far too kind of them, as well.

The chains are in every world. It just matters to the person what kind of chain that they would like -- one that is tied to a kind master, or not. [ ... ] Children will learn from the mistakes of their elders more than they learn to emulate. I learned from the mistakes of the adults in my life, and you -- it sounds like -- learned from the mistakes of your king. Just because they see does not mean they learn what you think they will learn. Have faith in them or not, but they will surprise you.

I am glad that you shall remain vigilant. [ Oh yes, introductions. ] I am Yaha. The pleasure is mine, naturally, Enjolras.

I suppose that you are right at that. [Enjolras is nodding there, at Yaha's words.] When we forge our own links to each other, it is no less a chain, perhaps, but the difference there would be that everyone is linked together, rather than tied down. When we control those chains by willingly linking up, instead of being yoked by another, then the greater power becomes shared. It would seem that that sort of chain, one bonding man to other men, considered equal in all ways is necessary for survival but also not so much an evil as some others. I would hope to choose that chain someday.

Humanity...[And then he's glancing at Yaha and noting the ears and pausing.] In the most general sense of that, I do not have a better term for it than that IS constantly surprising. I do hope that the surprises that come forth are beneficial.

It is good to meet someone willing to discuss such things, indeed. Argument and agreement I can find easily enough, but going about it from this vantage point is better. It is good to meet someone who seemingly agrees.

[ The elf tilts his head just a little as that is not at all what he meant. He meant more that it is a good idea to find someone to follow and cling to them -- to make them your life and when they would fail to use that chain to break their neck for being such a disappointment. But he decides that would not go over well.

And rights his head to smile sweet and nod just a little at him in agreement. ]

They may not always be, but that does not mean that they will always be unfortunate surprises.

[ A soft laugh. ] Yes, I agree. Sometimes, it is much more fun to find those that you are like-minded with than those that you must butt heads with. Not that those people are unfortunate, but sometimes... it's nice to know you are not wrong.

[Yeah, not so much with the neckbreaking bits for Enjolras, thanks. He would be uncomfortable if that was brought up yet. Not that he would not find something suitable to do to someone who betrayed his brothers or the cause but it would probably be less brutal than that in the end. Metaphorical neckbreaking perhaps, but physically, he'd choose something more like a gunshot. Simpler, in the end, really.

But for the moment, he takes that as a simple agreement and that is good enough.]

True enough. There can be fortunate ones as well. Some of my own were such surprises.

And yes. I do not ask that people would blindly agree but that there is less of a struggle to convince them...Well, it may be that I've grown a bit complacent since I've come here,

[And Enjolras is shrugging a little bit with that.]

but I always did prefer discussions as opposed to...screaming debates perhaps?

Like coming here. [ Yaha opens his hands as though to indicate that they have come full-circle in what it is that they were talking on, then smiles. ]

Discussions are always nicer. Screaming can eventually drown to nothing and if both people are saying nothing... then no one will ever be right. Someone has to remain calm or else no reason will be found.

Indeed coming here. Some parts of it have been a blessing in disguise, though the principle is still uncomfortable.

[And many of the political particulars as well but...]

I would be dead if I had not come here so in my case, the surprises have been a bit better than if I had simply been plucked here. It can be hard to remember that at times, when I know I am luckier than most. But still...

This quite! [Enjolras is nodding there.] My friends and I...so many of our early meetings found themselves ended on that note. And even myself when I was too young to know better.

[Ah the years of the lycée and that first semester at the law school when Enjolras still thought that shouting was a way to get his point across. It was better for everyone when he met those who calmed him down, really.]

Reason is more fitting in most things now, I should think.

But still?

[ It's only later did he learn what true screaming is and then shakes his head a little. ] I wish I was more reckless a youth. I've always been on the quiet side. It is only recently that I started to share my opinions, but only from time to time. I feel like I have missed my chance to have such screaming matches... even if they are tiring and eventually hurt the soul, there is something exciting in having them.

I suppose I sound older than I am in wishing for such youthful abandonment, yes?

But reason will always be better... it will always light the way. [ Still, where it leads may not be where this one wants. ]

But still it is wrong for so many. I would not be so selfish as to presume that my own happiness is any reason to rest when that of others is at stake. Not only happiness, of course, though that is the term most people use but...

[Enjolras is pausing for a moment, gathering his thoughts a little more.]

Liberty I suppose. The issue of determination over their own lives. If others have no satisfaction that something has been chosen for them, do I have a right to sit back simply because I have a large enough measure of the things I wish to be content in them?

[The knowledge that France has become a republic, many of his friends here now, Combeferre, the end to some of the unfairness directed at Foreigners when he arrived...they make Enjolras happy enough but the thought of those who are here and do not wish to be...]

The prison of this island may be comfortable, more comfortable than even those of us with money would have had in Paris, but it is still a prison for so many. That is what gives me pause before I say I like it here. What sort of a man would I be to ever like something that all of my fellow foreigners have had no choice in? I would never wish to be such a thing as to comfortably accept it at face value when there are so many realities involved here.

[Enjolras is shaking his head a bit, and laughing.]

I was...fourteen I think, when I had the cause to shift from quiet into something more. I discovered the writings of so many I admired and the things that they spoke of, I found that I agreed with them, found answers to the questions I had wished to ask, solutions for them and...I had to share them, particularly with those who would have held them back. The last few years of school were...interesting.

I could have well done with more quiet in those years, I think. My teachers and my parents would well have appreciated it.

Reason must temper everything we do, and yes, it surely IS a light to those who struggle in the dark, or with succumbing to it. Reason would have served me better then as it's served me since it was shown to me back then.

It is wrong for those that have something in their life that they wish to achieve, yes, but it is also a kindness. There are those here who are very hot-blooded. This gives them the chance to speak to those that are calmer, able to get the information and skills that they need to achieve their goals.

A fresh perspective to those that are prisoners in order to ensure that they are chained to those that they wish to be chained to. [ He shows a bit of white in this smile. ] You do not need to sit back, but you can help, naturally. There is more than just hurt here... I see that now. I'm able to meet those I would not have, and speak to those I could not, because of what I am. These Gods are, indeed, mad and I find it wonderful.

[ Yaha hums soft. ]

They may have appreciated, but I doubt that you would have... from what I hear, anyway. Besides, it is far better to be able to speak clear when you can and gather that confidence young than when you are old. When you are old, you see only the walls around you and a hand over your mouth... that hand may very well be your own. But you do not have that fear, and for that I am grateful and happy.

Are you the light which will light the way for those in the dark? It seems as though I already have my answer even before I ask...

If they are returned someday, then yes. I do see your point as such. Sometimes the perspective is something needed I suppose.

he may not like it, but Enjolas can conceive that the point is not as bad as all of that. AS for the second point...Well. he's slowly giving Yaha an approving nod if that means anything.]

Helping naturally, yes. As many here have done when the call goes out.We are not so powerless as we appear. That may be something of a useful lesson too. And there ARE many good things to make it at least bearable, I will say that.

Fundamentally, it is flawed, and I think we must do many things ourselves to shift THAT away but there are things that...they make it easier, I suppose, and yes, they teach us things.

[And Enjolras is actually laughing a little here, recalling times he was essentially told that yes, everyone would appreciate if he shut up. Which he rarely did for long. And he is nodding.]

So it is much better, yes. It never was my greatest strength, but I was confident enough by the time it was needed that I think very few people realized it. I do well enough speaking but...

[And he IS simply being honest here, not trying for conceited at all.]

My articles and other writings. Those are where my true strengths may be found if I am allowed to be so bold. But no, I am not afraid to say what must be. I have seen too many silenced as you say, to be one who falls into that, or forgets to help them remember their voices too.

[As for being the light? Enjolras can hardly believe that he was asked this question, honestly. It is at once flattering, but deeply, deeply, inaccurate.]

I am a man, much like my brothers, and I am no more than that. That light you speak of may be found in small parts all around us, and in the future, filling every chasm there is. When there is light, when that is real, no one shall be subject to pain, hunger or loss, nor forced to fight for anyone, for it will not be needed.

That light is already here among us, and one person cannot be as such. A group of them perhaps...

[There is an eyedart there, yes.]

a group of them may bring about some of that light, but never man himself. We are not gods, simply united in that common good, and when the rest of the world joins us, it can never go out again.

Better than simply being the light, I should suggest.

If? You do not believe that they will one day wake?

[ He blinks a few times. Oh well, that is a choice, but why would these people want to keep foreigners? His head tilts a little -- unless they are planning to use them as fodder and going to eat their bodies when it is over to ensure that they need not have to dip into their own supplies. His smile is a weak one, because he tries to hold bak his laughter.

And the moment passes. ]

So long as something is learned, there is power. And so long as something is taught, there is help given.

[ The elf nods just a little with him as he listens to the passionate speech. Though, he grows quiet as he has little to say. He thinks on what Enjolras says on that not one man can bring that to the world and his smile fades just a little. Sucking in his bottom lip, he chews on it absent-mindedly -- yet not so much that he would bite down to make it bleed, despite wanting to do so. The taste of blood in his mouth might calm him, but it would alarm the one that he speaks to ... that he can already tell.

So, he thinks on his words and how he must seem quite odd now. His eyes close as he continues to gather his thoughts, feeling how they rest upon his tongue, before both eyes and mouth open. ]

I was thinking on what you said, and it made me think of my past. An odd thing to say, would you not agree? You spoke of a friend of yours, and now I feel I must speak of one of mine... though, I cannot say that we were close. He was my previous general and died in battle. It was his wish that the world be made equal, that we all fight for what it is that we desire... that all you say now in what you wish ... it is what he wanted for us all.

He worked for it for eighteen years and everyone joined with him. That one man became a group, yes... but there must be a start to it all. There must be one to start the journey or nothing will get better. Even though he is gone, he started something and the world agrees that he did.

Though, he would deny being the first. He would deny being that light. He would deny it all... and say that it was all upon us that this has happened, but if he had not first started on the path of redemption for us all, I doubt we would be standing where we all are now.

[ Because such men do not understand their importance and when they fall, they take the light and hope with them. That is why everything is in shadows and why there is so much darkness inside of him now. There is his precious Urick who he loves -- who shines and lets some of that shine pass into him. Chases away the black so that it is not so thick and hateful. But if he were to have fallen, too... Yaha feels that there would be no sweet conversation now with Enjolras, but one where he would wish to find the man and cut his tongue out for saying such drivel to him.

But no, he likes this man's words. He feels no hate towards him. He feels no desire to harm him. And that is why light is important, because the dark needs something to help them. ]

I know that one of them, the man I died with, faced a good deal of hardship when he was here with us. He was so ill, and sick, and badly used by the world and seemed to have little peace here. I know that it was better that he vanish when he did. It was not long after I came here. I would have liked to speak to him of many things but I know for his sake it is better he does not wake again. Perhaps some of the others too. Though I miss them, I wonder if it is not selfish to want them here, instead of at peace. It is something I wonder for, truly.

[They could be an easily replenished army, Enjolras supposes. The idea that they immediately bound back from death, and that it could go on forever comes to mind here and he hates it.]

Knowledge has a power. You would like my Etienne. I think he would agree with you. Along with teaching. He has ever been our teacher, and our guide to the wonders of the world we might otherwise miss. I think that he knows everything and would impart it if he could, perhaps to gift that power onto others.

[And then Yaha is speaking of his friend, so Enjolras is falling respectfully silent, considering that story of the general who seems so much like les amis that he has to like the man, although they have not met.]

Ah yes, a start. The smallest thing can spark a revolution, or a riot, or any other call for change. Perhaps there is something to be said for taking the first steps there, and I would do it gladly, but it is nothing I alone can do I suppose is my meaning. Starting things before we leave our worlds. That is good. It is needed, I think. Perhaps even here, though I've had no signs that it is necessary yet.

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