05 ☣ TEXT & VOICE;

[angermanaging]

Looking to gather some info. Please respond with succinct list of what you would consider unalterable laws of reality in your home dimension, e.g. gravity, conservation of mass, particular laws of magic.

Will attempt to compile results into meaningful commonalities across dimensions. Maybe there's a universal law somewhere.

Would prefer text response if possible. Thanks.

B. Banner

[The message is then repeated in audio, if preceded by Bruce clearing his throat, for those that can't read English.]


[Voice | 60% encrypted to castmates & established CR.]

Finally got fed up with everyone talking over my head and made a trade to see my future.

[A beat.

In utter, dry exasperation,] You're all nuts. What kind of teamwork was that?

[ooc: Bruce is now post-Avengers! If you're not sure if you're established CR, ping me and I'll let you know if they're included, but feel free to play fast and loose.]

Comments

[jirk]

[HANDS IN THE AIR.]

I figure you've probably tried everything worth trying already.

[angermanaging]

[Dryly,] Thanks. I wasn't looking forward to the... misguided attempts.

[jirk]

[... okay he can't resist,]

Unless you want to try sleeping with me.

[trollface.jpeg.]

[angermanaging]

[Complete deadpan.]

Because sleeping with you would be an... exception to my physiology?

[jirk]

Well, I am James Tiberius Kirk. I've kind of made a career out of being everyone's exception.

[This is why Jim loves teasing you, Bruce.]

[angermanaging]

[Because he gets snarky? Because it's so easy?]

The temptation is nearly overwhelming, but I'll pass. I'm straight.

[And really, your middle name is Tiberius? Bruce isn't forgetting that one.]

[jirk]

Seriously, people still do that?

[Categories? Fuck categories.]

[angermanaging]

They do in 2012. They don't still do that?

[Not that Bruce has strong feelings about his sexuality (he objectively doesn't care), but he's never been attracted to anyone that wasn't a woman before, back when he could feasibly act on said attraction.]

[jirk]

[He shrugs.]

We've got bigger things to worry about in the twenty-third century, I guess.

[angermanaging]

So you're all beyond that? [he asks doubtfully, trying to imagine it.] You just-- with whoever you want?

[jirk]

Race, species, gender. I mean, some people are still a little weird about it, but you've always got those types, you know? For a lot of people it's less about their daughter dating another girl and more about her bringing home an Andorian these days. Even the most stubborn bigots would rather take the girl.

[He gives Bruce a thoughtful look. An Earth without the Eugenics Wars is a weird place to think about.]

The way I see it, just about everybody's got an exception to their rules.

[angermanaging]

[Bruce doesn't really think about this stuff too much. Considering he's sure of his sexual orientation and he can't have sex, social concerns have taken a serious backburner in his mind.

But he's not unkind, and he understands the message here.]

Yeah. Well. People don't work so well with rules. And you definitely have a chance to-- exercise that open-mindedness, around here.

[Has Jim slept with kedan? Does he want to know?]

[jirk]

[Eyebrow way up.]

Said as if you think I haven't.

[Bruce no. Save yourself.]

[angermanaging]

[He knows not what he does.]

I don't know, Jim, I don't think about your sex life.

[jirk]

You probably don't want to. It's been known to give lesser men ulcers.

[... Consideringly,]

And/or heart attacks. Or really confused erections.

[angermanaging]

[What even is this conversation? Can he end it now? Bruce feels like it couldn't possibly end up going anywhere less embarrassing for him.]

Yeah. Thanks. I'll just... skip it.

[jirk]

[He's cackling internally, but externally? Still cool as a cucumber. But he's probably teased him enough for one day, so.]

Fair enough. We done?

[angermanaging]

I think so. [There's a beat, and although he doesn't change tone, it's clear he means something different when he says,] Thanks, Jim.

[jirk]

[He pauses, reaching for the off button. There's a very minute shift to his expression, just a little hitch between his brows, and then he nods.]

Yeah. You too.

[AND DISCONNECT BEFORE HE NEEDS TO DEAL WITH MORE FEELINGS GODDAMN.]

[angermanaging]

[THANK GOD.]