01 VIDEO »

[dow]

Greetings. I am Commander Spock of the USS Enterprise, a Starfleet contingent of the United Federation of Planets. I understand that we are temporally isolated as well as spatially displaced and that this is not a subdivision of any one possible multiverse, neither a pocket dimension of any one universe, but a unique quantum singularity linking many and each possible variation thereof. If others here have scientific findings of this nature, I pre-emptively extend my gratitude in the event of any information being divulged.

[ AKA pls share ur theories. He's not human, in case anyone with eyes and ears missed the blatant memo staring them in the face, the approximation of what would happen were a dollop of raw science and a great jawline to get mixed with an elf in a blender. Spock pauses thoughtfully, glancing away, and a single slender brow arches when he looks back; there are likely a great deal of customs to be observed from numerous new species and races, none of which he seeks to offend. ]

It has been brought to my attention that this is not my first foray into Keeliai. While I would request that you exert a measure of patience with my ... freshly acquired outlook, you will find me amenable to revisiting former acquaintances. [ Again he hesitates, though this time it comes across as more of an amendment. If you've been hanging out with his BFF, prepare to explain why, how and to what end. ] Similarly, I wish to meet with any and all allies of Captain James T. Kirk at their earliest convenience.

All remaining Starfleet personnel are to submit a fully comprehensive report effective immediately regarding their time here. Audio will suffice, given the circumstances.

[ And off goes the feed. ]

Comments

[dow]

[ Brain screeching to a halt. Not jealous, no, just intensely ... curious. ]

Why did she kiss the captain?

[spiderkid]

[Oh man, it's been forever since he saw that episode.] I don't really remember. I think they were wearing togas or something...?

[dow]

Togas? [ — he's fine. Fine has variable fucking definitions and Spock is just.

He is so. Fine. Right now. ]

Please elaborate on the character of Captain Kirk.

[spiderkid]

Well he talks... sort of... like this... He's played by William Shatner, and he's like, the biggest ladies man ever.

[dow]

I see. You are certain it was the lieutenant that initiated the kiss?

[spiderkid]

It could've been the other way around, I don't really remember. Sorry if this is upsetting you...

[dow]

Vulcans are incapable of being "upset". What is the major plot of the series?

[spiderkid]

To "boldly go where no man has gone before." It's about your exploratory mission and stuff.

[dow]

I see. The five-year mission?

[spiderkid]

Yeah, that's it. The five year mission. You visit all sorts of planets and stuff.

[dow]

[ A pause, and then he has to ask. ]

Am I the captain's friend?

[spiderkid]

You're totally his friend. You're like, his best friend.

[dow]

That distinction is reserved for Doctor McCoy.

[ He knows where he stands. ]

[spiderkid]

Oh, so I guess the TV show isn't the same as your guys' real life.

[dow]

Yes. For example, I find it highly unlikely Lieutenant Uhura would fall into the arms of the captain.

[spiderkid]

Yeah, especially not if she's dating you.

[dow]

One would think. Mr. Morales, might I trouble you to make a list of anything you can remember about the show we have been discussing so that I may peruse it at a later date?

[spiderkid]

Sure, I could do that. [Lord knows if somebody'd made a TV show or a comic book about his life, he'd want to know about it.] When do you want it by?

[dow]

There is no rush. The majority of my time here will be spent in conference with or on behalf of Captain Kirk when I am not investigating the situation.

[spiderkid]

Alright, I'll make a list drop it by you whenever, then.

[dow]

Very well. You may contact me when you have completed this task.

[ Adding a link to the message. ]