tushanshu | 001

Entry tags:

001 - video

[He needs to stop thinking that he's incapable of being surprised. By the end of the Battle of New York, Steve thought he had seen it all. Insane technology, other worlds, aliens... What else could there possibly be?

The answer, of course, is a giant turtle in a realm outside the continuity of time. He had a long chat about nearly everything with the locals that helped him earlier, but it's still crazy, and he probably wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen some of the turtle shell himself.

Yet here he is. It'll probably all sink in over time; Steve's been overloaded with so much information over the past few hours and it's exhausting, even for him.

Getting on the computer hadn't been his top priority, but he's already gone outside of his new home and back. Steve's experienced enough culture shock for today. He might as well at least reach out and introduce himself to all of the other people who wound up here like him.

Once he's got the computer up and running, he accesses the network using the video function. He looks a little stiff and probably as exhausted as he feels, but that's the least of his concerns right now.]

Hello. My name's Steve Rogers. The kedin- kedan? - brought me up to speed already, but I only just arrived here a few hours ago.

[Maybe longer than that. He hasn't exactly been keeping track of time. In any case, it's really jarring to be talking to a computer screen and not actually know who's on the other end.]

I have a couple questions that I'd like to have verified. [It doesn't necessarily mean he'll believe whatever he's told, but second opinions are typically useful.] We're all more or less stuck on this turtle, right? But there's a way back.

[That's a question as well, but it ends up sounding more like a statement. It sounds like a reasonable assumption. There obviously isn't a rush since no time is passing back home; he just wants to know.]

The other question I have is about jobs. Since it looks like I'll be here awhile, I'll start looking soon. Does anyone know which places are hiring offhand?

[He pauses for a moment before adding a 'thank you.']

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'll be on my way there.

[ Disconnect, and he will. Though he does shake his head a little at the fact that Steve and Natasha are in the same building again - just different sector. ]

[ Bucky only delays to throw in some food (fast metabolism) and a bottle of kedan brandy-like alcohol in a backpack. And then he's jogging over to Earth sector. Unlike the first time he ran to Steve's suite, this time, he's only a little winded - he's definitely gotten in better shape here, at least. Much better than he was in, even during the war. Who'd have thought? ]

[ Anyway. Bucky knocks on Steve's door, then steps back, as though the extra couple of feet of distance between them will somehow make a difference, in how Steve will react. He just doesn't want his best friend upset, okay? ]

[After he ends the connection, Steve pushes back in his chair, sighing heavily. This is real, and it's really happening. He's not sure of how he exactly feels because he feels too many things at once.

Anticipation, maybe even a little excitement. Guilt. So much heavy guilt that he's carried with him from the moment he wasn't able to pull Bucky back onto the train.

Part of him isn't sure how to actually face him, or what to say to him.

Steve doesn't have time to figure that out before there's a knock on the door. Heart racing, he stands and heads over. He doesn't even realise he's holding his breath until he opens the door and lets it go.

There's not a shred of doubt about who he's looking at, of course, but he feels like he's looking at ghost.]

Bucky...

[ It probably doesn't help that Bucky hasn't been frozen in time, the duration he's spent here. One year, six months, and three days. Time that hasn't been easy on him, so he looks definitely a little older. ]

[ The moment he catches sight of Steve's face, the calm 'hey, Steve, this place is weird' just. Flies off the realm of possibilities of conversation starters. Bucky's mouth twists into a self-mocking smile that his friend knows probably way too well. ]

C'm'ere, punk.

[ He makes a half-step forward, but not more. Up to Steve whether to take the offer - if it's too much, Bucky will step back. ]

[Bucky doesn't have to wait long at all for Steve to move. As soon as he gets his legs to work, Steve closes the distance between them. He needs this hug, probably more than anything else right now. It's still weird, not only because of the apparent difference in age or the fact that last time he saw Bucky was falling out of that train--

It's the height difference. The limited time he had around Bucky after the serum doesn't counteract the years of being so much smaller. That doesn't matter too much, because it's Bucky. He's here, and in a way that makes Steve's being here a whole lot easier too. Okay, even.

Bucky's the closest thing he has to family left.]

Jerk.

[It's mumbled, and maybe his grip is a little too tight but he's not aware of that. He's too focused on the part about his best friend being here when he thought he'd never see him again.]

[ Bucky holds on just as tightly, really. His best friend being here when he thought he'd never see him again IS A THING THAT IS GOING ON IN BOTH DIRECTIONS. ]

Damn right I am. Damn right I am, Steve.

[ He's saying things just because both of them probably need to hear something, not because they make sense. Just so that Steve has his voice, too, to reassure him, not just. This. God. ]

[ He still thinks of the things Natasha described, of the underground place where she'd found the people who'd disappeared. He still knew there were two of his best friend down there, and one alternate version, as well. He still thinks this one might end up there, too. But it didn't matter, because Steve is here now, and. Things are less of a mess than they had been, an hour ago. Let alone for the last months. ]

[ He doesn't let go. But he does ask, in a little while. ]

Wanna go inside? We've gotta talk. And I've brought ya food, don't know if you've been out shopping, yet.

[It doesn't matter what Bucky says at this point; it just affirms that he's really here. Somehow really okay, at least physically. It doesn't do anything to lessen the guilt Steve has in regard to Bucky, but this is as close to closure as he's likely to get.]

Yeah, alright.

[There's a lot he needs to ask Bucky, anyway. As for food, it hadn't even occurred to him that he should've gone to get some earlier. He'd been too busy processing information and trying to find out as much as he could- and that hasn't exactly changed just yet.]

Thanks. I hadn't gotten around to that.

[He might've forgotten about food, but his body hasn't. Steve pulls away in time so hopefully his stomach pangs aren't heard. Pushing the door open more, he nods for Bucky to follow him inside.]

Make yourself at home.

[ Bucky shakes his head, but, yeah, no, he's letting Steve let go, first, and only then looks him up and down, and follows inside, only reaching up to ruffle the blond hair. By the look on Steve's face, it'll be a bit of time before he stops needing the reassurance. ]

[ Then he looks around, and heads right to the kitchen, nodding to Steve to come right along. He'll take a bit of time, there, so. They can talk with Steve leaning against a counter, right? Or something? ]

Right, so.

[ ... nope. No idea where to start, but, he'll start from somewhere as he's putting most of the food away and making a few sandwiches, the backpack emptying steadily. He waves the bottle of booze at Steve, just in case, then puts it away, too. For the moment. ]

I was fallin'. And then I woke up here. That was, for me, about a year and a half ago. Give or take a few days. So I'm kinda used to the place, and, let me tell ya, Steve. There's a lot to get used to. So if I'm going too fast, stop me, all right?

[He smoothes his hair afterwards, much like he did any other time Bucky messed his hair up. It's a natural gesture, familiar. Enough that for a very brief moment, Steve can almost forget that they're not back in New York.

Steve should probably help with everything, but he's still a little dumbstruck. Maybe if he was a little less drained, a little less guilty and overwhelmed, he might've attempted to make some sort of joke about still being older than Bucky.

But it's not funny and Steve's still just too much of a mess to know what to think or feel.

A year and a half is a long time... Yeah, he might end up needing that bottle of liquor.]

I've heard a lot about this place so far, so it might not be a problem.

[He nods anyway, though. And just in case Bucky hasn't heard anything about what happened since the train--] Schmidt died, by the way. [That's what he assumes, anyway.] I had to take his plane down over the ocean and froze. When I woke up it was 2011.

[ Bucky can't help the faint smile. It's just so. Normal. Good. Right. Steve was bringing him up to speed. ]

[ He nods, focusing on the sandwich for a moment, then filling up a glass of water and setting it up for Steve - it's been a long time since he's done this for his friend, and, heh, they never had this much back home to begin with, or not usually, at least, but it's still. Normal. ]

You got a new team. They're good people.

And, [ Bucky gives Steve a look. A warning. Here come complications. ] you've been here before, even though you don't remember.

[ Then he waits for Steve's reaction. ]

[Steve reaches for the glass to take a sip. Super soldier or not, he needed to stay hydrated as much as anyone else, and he definitely hasn't had anything to drink since he's arrived.

He nods at the first part, not surprised that Bucky knows them. After all, he's been here for ages and so have the Avengers, from the sound of things.

The second part, though. That's what gets his attention. He sets the glass down, giving Bucky a look. It's guarded, but not intentionally so. He's not the type to keep things from his best friend; he's simply trying to keep his own emotions and reactions in check.]

What happened when I was here before?

[Is this more he should feel guilty about? Probably. This means that Bucky's been here the entire time, and at some point he was too and then... some way or another, he abandoned Bucky.]

[ In case Steve is looking for reasons to feel more guilty, well, he'll probably find none, in the tired smile that Bucky gives at the question. ]

It was good, Steve. The first time, it was just. Good. Like a second chance that I never thought we'd ever get, when the stupid train side broke apart. Second chance I never thought I'd get, and you getting here was just. Better.

[ Deep breath. ]

The second time was too brief. Way too brief. And there was the you from a different - alternate, Rikki called it - reality. There's apparently many worlds, you see. Many earths. That don't always come into contact with one another, but they exist. There was even one where you and I, we never met back when we did. Didn't go to the War together, either. And there I and--

[ Bucky clears his throat, realizing he's gotten carried away by telling things. He'll give Steve time to process very shortly. ]

I and Peggy got a granddaughter. She was here for a while, too.

[ Not quite where he wanted to go right now, but - he's not going to hide things, not from Steve. So, there it is. ]

[The first part is easy to take. Second chances are good. Maybe that's what this could be for him. Maybe not clear his conscience, because he doesn't think he deserves that, but... Just more time with Bucky. Time he knows he won't have otherwise.

He's heard a bit about the other universes too. An alternate self, that knew Sharon and Namorita and the others.

But this is different. Obviously it's not his Bucky, not the Peggy from their world, but still. It feels wrong; he doesn't like it, and maybe it makes him feel jealous on some level. He knows he shouldn't. It's a different universe. It's not theirs, but how else is he supposed to react to it?

That's...

[Really weird? Something that could've happened if he never got in the Army? He doesn't know.]

Interesting. [He probably would've wanted to meet Bucky's granddaughter, if he'd been here when she was. The idea probably would've taken time to get used to, but Steve would consider any of Bucky's family his own.]

Has Peggy been here? [Steve almost doesn't want to know the answer, but he has to ask anyway.]

[ Bucky gives a wry twist of his mouth, then. Moves to settle a plate with two large sandwiches in front of Steve, and leans across the counter with something for himself, too. ]

Yeah. She showed up a little bit after the first you, like a week, and was here until a little after. [ Small wince. ] That part... wasn't a happy time for her. But, yeah. Rikki made that a bit awkward - I mean, she hadn't told me until after Peggy showed up, which was just as well. It's not like it was me she had eyes for.

[ It's all right, Steve. Peggy's yours and yours alone. It's just. Complicated. ]

[ Bucky takes a deep breath, and barges on. ]

You're not the only one who's been here before. Stark Junior, Thor, Dr. Banner, and N-- Agent Romanoff were here before, then they disappeared, and now they're here again. Barton ... hasn't returned, yet. Nor has Agent Coulson. Nor Ms. Potts.

... and there's another one of me here, too. He and you - well, my version of you - didn't go along well. I mean, the other me didn't get along well with the first you. I think he was fine with the alternate version of you.

Damn, this is all mixed up. I'd draw you a diagram... or a series of them, but. Well.

[ Bucky and drawing. ]

[Admittedly, that puts him at ease some. At the same time, it's a bit upsetting that Peggy's not here anymore. That, and he disappeared on her again too. Steve's good at that for some reason, apparently.

Those sandwiches look fantastic and remind him just how hungry he is. The information Bucky's telling isn't as bothersome for the moment, so he picks up one of the sandwiches and digs in. One bite in though, and Steve is lifting the top layer of bread to see what's in it. Not dissing Bucky's sandwich-making abilities, but it doesn't taste the way he expected.]

What happens when people disappear? Is it as abrupt as the arrival? [Or does it take dying here?]

I think I'm following you so far. Don't break yourself. [It's a playful jab, one he figures is necessary right about now.]

It's weird to think about any version of me and you not getting along.

[Which, of course, is hilarious for reasons he doesn't know yet.]

[ Bucky makes a face. ]

Sorry. That's close to turkey, but - different, yeah. Birds and fish are the usual stuff, here, and the greens are... well. Also different.

[ He rubs his forehead, though, at Steve's words. ]

I've got... Two main things that you're really not gonna like, coming. One of them's the answer to your question about people who disappear, and the other's about me. They're both bad.

Which one do I start with?

[He examines it for a moment longer before taking a couple more bites. It's better to just eat as much as he can before he loses his appetite altogether.]

Don't worry about it. It's better than orphanage food, anyway.

[Well, the slim pickings during the Depression in general make this sandwich gourmet, even if it tastes slightly off.

Steve has to weigh his options before responding. Anything about Bucky is probably going to upset him more. Better to take the potentially worst news first, right?]

Tell me about you.

True 'nuff. If we're lucky, sometimes we find things from home, when we make landfall. Sometimes, it's even food. Other than that, we've gotta get used to this.

[ Bucky nods, and rubs his hands over his face, before postponing things a little by biting into his own sandwich, and chewing for a moment. It tastes like sawdust, and he's pretty sure Steve's will, too, in a few moments. So he'll give him a few more bites, first. Or maybe one. Something like that. ]

Mind you, I didn't know this until I'd been here for months, and-- somebody thought she owed me, so she told me. And she knows first-hand, and I don't think it's easy for her, so don't be too angry at her?

But, um.

[ There goes. Bucky closes his eyes for a bit, then looks over at Steve, and his voice is steady, and low, and quiet. ]

Apparently, after I fell... somebody found the body. And they - weren't any of ours. Not German's either, but they had... something. They revived the body and brainwashed... me. And used me as a tool, for a very long time.

[ He has to swallow for this part. ]

As an assassin. And to train... others.

Like Natasha.

[The sandwich is immediately unappealing. Much like the glass of water, it's set aside and forgotten about as Steve listens to what Bucky says. By the time he's done, it's not a secret that Natasha is the person he mentioned at the beginning.

For a moment, all the can think about is how she knew and she didn't tell him. It's true that Steve hasn't known Natasha for a long time, but he's known her long enough that she's had plenty of time to say 'hey your dead best friend isn't really dead.' Yes, he's angry, but he's not sure if it's more directed at her or himself.

Because being a brainwashed assassin, a weapon, that's a worse end for Bucky than just death. All of it could have been prevented if Steve could've just gotten to him in time. If he'd immediately gone to save Bucky instead of immediately taken out the Hydra goon. The difference only would've been a few seconds, and definitely more dangerous... but seconds count.

What's worse is knowing there's no way for him to fix it. It doesn't matter if Bucky stays here forever, it's still going to happen and Steve's the only one he can truly blame.]

The Russians?

[Even before Bucky mentioned Natasha, he would've assumed them. It wasn't like tensions were great between the Russians and Americans back in the '40s, and Steve's read up on the Cold War tensions.]

I'm so sorry, Buck.

[There's an edge in his voice as he drags a hand down his face. Steve's angry. At himself. At the people who did this to Bucky. For Bucky. It's a long moment before he speaks again.]

For how long? Are they still? I could find a way to find you, back home. Save you. Make them pay-

[He likely sounds as irrational as he feels, but he manages to stop himself for now. That alcohol though. That's needed far more than the sandwich or the water or anything else. Steve might regret it later, but he's grabbing that bottle now and hunting down glasses for them both.]

[ Bucky reaches across the distance between them, catching the back of Steve's neck in a steady, warm hand. Squeezing a little, to try and steady him. Remind him that he's here, now, and that the knowledge is about something that they can't change. Not right now. ]

Not your fault, dummy. You saved millions of people, remember? It's what you had to do.

Natasha doesn't know. She doesn't think I'm alive anymore, but she's not sure. If you... if you ever remember this place, I know you'll find me. I know if she's ever certain that there's anybody to be found, she'd tell you. But bringing your hope up... She's a practical one, Natasha is.

'sides. [ Sliiight break from the topic. ] From what I gathered you guys were kinda busy. Yeah?

[Steve feels Bucky's hand on him, but he doesn't relax, not until he's got drinks poured for them both. Turning on his heels, he pushes one of the glasses at Bucky.]

If I hadn't messed up, I could've saved you too.

[That's why it's his fault. He probably sounds like an insolent child right about now, but he's convinced that if he'd done something differently. It hasn't occurred to him that the result of that could've just been Bucky on Schmidt's plane with him, and that wouldn't have been much better.

After he says that, Steve just listens. He nods, sipping at his drink, but finishes it off far too quickly.]

I wasn't busy enough to not gone looking for you. [That probably would've been the worst possible thing, considering how much Steve would have obsessed over it.] There was an alien invasion and world domination plans that had to be thwarted, but I would've made time for you.

[ Bucky watches Steve move, then. Looks down into his glass. ]

One year, six months, and three days, Steve. You have any idea how many times those few moments - hell, the whole thing - has happened, over and over again, in my head?

You did what you could.

[ He picks up his glass and clinks it against Steve's. ]

Drink up. I know what I'm talkin' about.

And you can totally still do it. Time you spend here... it doesn't really...

[ Damn. Next bad part. Bucky takes a deep breath, and tosses his drink back. He'll pay for it, of course he will, but, it's been so much already. Almost too much. ]

You heard about clones, back... in the future?

[This is where Steve should try to smile, even force a small twitch of his lip for Bucky, but he can't. Sometime later, maybe tomorrow or in the weeks following, he might be able to pretend that he's okay with all of this. But he's not.

After Bucky moves his drink away, Steve drinks some of his own. He's still never gotten quite used to the burn, but when he's in moods like this, it's a needed addition.

Steve stares at the remaining liquor in his glass for a moment before glancing up to catch Bucky's eye again.]

It doesn't really what?

[He frowns, finishes his drink and blindly reaches behind to get the bottle for a refill. He hasn't realised that this liquor is anything different from what they had back home yet, so he's thinking this entire bottle won't be enough.]

I don't know the science behind it, but I've heard the ethical debate. Scientists have cloned sheep, I think. [He shrugs.] What about it?

It doesn't really count.

[ Bucky shakes his head, then nods towards the living room. Yes, he'll take the food with him, just in case, if Steve's okay with moving the conversation. Back home, it'd be with less booze, and sitting on rickety, thin-blanketed beds. Here, the suites have proper couch and armchairs and all. And also space to pace. Also a necessity. ]

That's the other bad thing. Well, part of it. We're all here really... clones. That's what was explained to me. We haven't been taken from back home, just... copied. There was a kid that found a 'cloning facility' - his words - underwater a while back. And... that'd account that when people die here, they just... come back. I guess using another copy.

Natasha, uh, the previous one, said that we're probably just. We-we. The personality. Just snapshots from a specific moment. We here don't really necessarily exist, back home.

So, y'see. You can just. Find out, back home. Ain't late or anything like that.

[It doesn't count. This isn't real. They aren't real. That's almost as bad as learning about Bucky's future. Not quite, but close. There is only one thing for certain, however- it's a good thing that they moved to the living room.

Steve doesn't even realise how much he needs to sit until he's on the couch. He trusts Bucky not to lie to him; this is simply hard to grasp. He can comprehend everything Bucky's said to him, but...

That doesn't make it any easier to accept.]

So everything that happens here, it's all for nothing.

[It doesn't take much for him to come to this conclusion.]

I won't remember anything that happens here. [Which means it could take longer to do anything he's decided he needs to do.] What if I don't find out at all?

[Don't mind him as he refills his glass. At this rate, he'll only remember the food when it's too late.]

Steve.

[ Bucky's voice is soft, and he leans closer again, making sure that his friend is looking at him. It really, really is a sign of how badly Steve is taking it, if he's losing sight of anything but the bad parts. ]

[ Not that Bucky can blame him, his own reaction hadn't been exactly stellar, but this is Steve. Steve sliding into hopelessness, however briefly... ]

Hey. We're not brought here to just. Do nothing. This world's in danger, and if we can save it, it's really, really not for nothing. Remember that. Even if we don't remember a thing and you need to find out everything from the start...

This really is a second chance for me to do good stuff. And if you're here beside me, yeah. I'll take it even more. All right?

001 - video

text; -> action;

action;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

cw: narrative including blood/gore

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)