AUDIO; from a cafe; post-bottle

[nerdylilspidey]

 [Peter's not quite in the right place, mentally, to put up a video post. And he definitely isn't sure he should put it up from his own suite. So he's found his way to the nearest cafe, with an oversized hoodie pulled up over his head, and is starting up only an audio feed.]

Never a boring moment around here, is there? One minute we're normal-ish, celebrating Valentine's Day, and the next we're battling evil miasma inside a magic bottle.

Does anyone ever wonder what happened to the idea of rest and relaxation?


[FILTERED to the Spider-family]

...Sorry. About what happened back there. You-- You guys know that that-- That wasn't me. You know that, right...?

Oh, God... [There's a sigh, and then a beat of silence before he continues.] Anyway, just- I'm sorry.

Comments

[unobtainableredemption]

[Eventually.

Kaine shrugs. That's definitely true.] I thought you said you worked with your... Ultimates. [God that's such a stupid name. And he thought the Avengers were a dumb name.]

[nerdylilspidey]

[You promised honest answers today, bro. Keep 'em coming.]

I... Kind of? They started to like, train me. But then- Yeah. [He shrugs, pushing a hand back through his hair.] I've helped them a couple of times, though? Just never officially part of the team or anything.

[unobtainableredemption]

[Yes. Answers. He never said he was going to be freely forthcoming with information.]

That was where I thought Parker was with the Avengers. A lot changes in 3 years, I guess.

[nerdylilspidey]

[But if Peter asks...]

A lot changes in just one year, too. To be fair.

[unobtainableredemption]

[He'd mention it.]

True. [A year was all it took for Ben to be the Scarlet Spider, Spider-Man, and dead.]

[nerdylilspidey]

[Excellent~

Also, Ben and Peter would have so much to bond over if they ever met.]

...Sooooo- Prison for three years?

[unobtainableredemption]

About, yeah.

Did you miss the part where I've told you multiple times I'm a murderer?

[nerdylilspidey]

I conveniently glazed over it. I am a teenager.

I didn't know you got caught and convicted and- Did you escape prison?

[unobtainableredemption]

[He sighs. This is a long and complicated tale. How to shorten it...] Seeing as I'm Parker's clone, I have his DNA. So did Reilly. Guess whose DNA was found on the people I killed?

[nerdylilspidey]

... Did you get Other Me jailed?

[unobtainableredemption]

He was on trial for it, at least. Or Reilly was--they switched places. Parker threatened to expose himself as Spider-Man after he learned who I was to save him, so I turned myself in to prevent that.

Shortly after admitting to everything, I broke out. Reilly convinced me to turn myself back in. He said--never mind, he just convinced me.

I broke out again to try to save Parker's aunt, but Parker managed to find her by himself. When I turned myself in again, they put me in solitary until I broke out again.

[nerdylilspidey]

... Not gonna lie, you're kind of making me wanna call you "Houdini."

[unobtainableredemption]

They just kept underestimating how strong I was. That last place finally got smart and drugged me up to my eyeballs whenever they let me out. [Best peace he ever got.]

[nerdylilspidey]

And that's why- That's why basically everyone wants to catch you? S.H.I.E.L.D. and the NYPD and- and everybody?

[unobtainableredemption]

Yes, Parker. I'm a wanted felon.

[nerdylilspidey]

...Nifty.

I'm guessing that makes your visits to the Big Apple too difficult to like, happen.

[unobtainableredemption]

I had just come back from New York when I came here, actually. The Assassins Guild apparently makes exceptionally good fake passports. I'm sure the haircut and lack of scars helped me pass a background check.

[nerdylilspidey]

"Assassin's Guild"? You were part of an assassin's guild??

[unobtainableredemption]

No. They were the ones who wanted me to kill Wolverine. I gave them the choice of one job on the house or I'd tear theirs apart at the foundation. [He didn't mind when they went after him. He cared when they went for his friends.]

[nerdylilspidey]

Oh... You know, your life is so much more colorful than mine.

[unobtainableredemption]

Oh yeah, my life's been a real joy. I'd wish it on anyone. [So much so he can't even remotely hide his sarcasm.]

[nerdylilspidey]

[Peter smiles, just a little.]

Say it long enough, and even you could start believing it.

[unobtainableredemption]

I've never tried to fool myself into thinking that.

[nerdylilspidey]

One day I'd like to be a convicted felon. Right now all I get is "menace to society." ...Which I guess is worse if you watch Fox News.

[unobtainableredemption]

[His lip actually twitches at that.]

I've killed people! That is not something to aspire to!