003; Video

[iwannabeadragon]

There's a lot of things I've learned to just accept since I've been here. A magic bottle with the personification of death inside it is something that I can live with. What really confuses is me is how my dog ended up inside it and who put him there.

[At that moment there's a bark and Hawke's notch-eared mabari pushes his way into the feed, examining the strange thing that Hawke appears to be talking to. Hawke's hand falls to Notch's head as he pats the dog's head.]

Don't get me wrong, I love having him back, but answers are always nice.

[So would knowing that his dog isn't actually possessed by whatever corruption was in the bottle.]

At least the trip was fun enough. We should plan another one soon. Maybe this time without a dragon the size of a mountain, or the swamp. I'm thinking a chateau overlooking a lake.

Comments

[solo_patria]

Some do, of course.

I dare not name the names, but I've found that it can be...nice, the risking it. The...feeling fearless, I suppose. Which probably makes very little sense.

[iwannabeadragon]

None in the least, but there's not much I do that makes much sense anymore. There's no such thing as feeling fearless though. Anyone who says otherwise is either lying or crazy.

[There's always a certain amount of fear when Hawke gets involved in something. Maybe it's not always for himself, but it's always there at the back of his mind.]

[solo_patria]

Perhaps that was...a wrong choice of words, at that.

[Enjolras is pausing, frowning thoughtfully as he tries to consider it. He's used to selecting the words that will get attention, to creating headlines, or slogans. Precision is a part of it, but a smaller part when evoking emotion is important too.]

If not an absence of fear, entirely, then perhaps that feeling that fear is something one can conquer, perhaps. I don't explain this well, but the idea that it is within my control, that I alone choose what I do with it. It was rare that I had such exhilarating moments, or understood them properly until I had been here.

[It was not until he had experienced the worst of fears that he had found that, when it came to other things, there was a joy to be taken in doing difficult and dangerous things, in testing limits, and, even at times, in accepting the pain that came with failure, and was its due. ]

It was rare that I understood things were dangerous and knew I had faced worse before, I suppose, and that I would likely survive. There is a great deal to be said for those realizations, somehow. In Paris, I was afraid for the others, for our work, that I had not done enough to advance it, but here, it's easier to do things when there is only me at risk. I cannot be afraid for myself, somehow, if that makes any sort of sense.

[iwannabeadragon]

[That says a great deal about Enjolras to Hawke. How many people like him were in Kirkwall when he lived there. How many people didn't have to do the things Enjolras did just because they had Hawke to rely on. Sometimes he wonders if he did them a kindness or disservice with all the aid he gave them.

Then again, maybe they never had to experience that fear simply because he was around.]

Trust me when I say it's never just you at risk. I do this kind of thing for a living. Nothing helps keep someone alive more than the fear of catching a sword to the chest.

[Hawke knows you're not helping anyone when you face danger on your own. Of course, that doesn't always mean he listens to his own advice.]

[solo_patria]

[Enjolras could never be that person who let someone else do everything somehow. The idea sits wrong with him on a fundamental level, so perhaps there have always been those, even in Kirkwall, who would have stood. But then again, perhaps they had needed that example set by Hawke, and with him here, well, one can never know.]

And you have far more experience than I, from what I hear. Death IS certainly a motivator. The idea that it is facing you and you have to work fast, to get everything done before your time is up. Deadlines to meet, and such.

But no, there were always so many who stood beside me, true. I only suppose here, there is a BIT of difference. Or it's seemed as such and I've likely been blind.

[iwannabeadragon]

You certainly put a lot more thought into that than I do. Normally it just motivates me not to die. I hear that can be a bad thing for your health.

[And the mask comes right back up. The discussion was getting for too serious for him and he may have said more than he's comfortable with already.]

Yes, here you're friends can look much weirder.

[solo_patria]

Dying, yes. It is a bit inconvenient and bad for the health as well. If possible, I recommend avoiding it.

[Good enough for Enjolras. He is just as comfortable switching back to lighter topics. It's not often he says so much to relative strangers. And then he snorts at the last bit.]

Also larger and with far more abilities to make things explode.

[iwannabeadragon]

That's what I thought. I already engage in enough unhealthy activities.

[Hawke barks out a laugh and shakes his head. When he looks back at Enjolras he quirks an eyebrow at the man.]

Now I wouldn't say that. My friends were talented to say the least.

[solo_patria]

Explosions then? Oh INTERESTING.

And probably better if you meet these friends here ever that they stay away from Iskierka, I should think. Just in case.

[iwannabeadragon]

Really? She and I get along just fine. I think she'd fit in fairly well with them, besides the whole dragon thing.

[solo_patria]

Oh, I did not mean THAT. I adore her, actually, so much as I am able to adore someone, but the potential for explosiveness seems...high from what you've said. I cannot imagine the combination being less than destructive, even if it does sound engaging.

[iwannabeadragon]

The more destructive it is the more likely it's going to happen. I try not to fight these things anymore. Instead I just try to point the destruction in the right direction.

[And even that doesn't work all the time. Dammit Anders.]

[solo_patria]

Destruction in the right direction. I could see that taking a degree of dedication, yes. And well, there are the times it's called for. Iskierka seems to need direction in that matter, but so long as it is all within someone's hand...

It IS hard to see issues with it, I suppose.

[iwannabeadragon]

Exactly. You can't stop a storm but if you're lucky you can at least point it toward someone you don't like.

[And Hawke is a lightning rod for this kind of thing.]

[solo_patria]

I DO enjoy starting up storms and directing them at those who deserve it, yes.

[iwannabeadragon]

Why does this not surprise me?

[Maybe it's because of all the talk about rebellion.]

[solo_patria]

Ah, perhaps I have revealed too many of my cards at once.

[That would be a good reason, yes.]

[iwannabeadragon]

Don't worry too much about it. I'm not so great at cards.

[solo_patria]

Ah well. I am usually much better at keeping myself in check. But then again, this place is strange that way.

[iwannabeadragon]

Exactly, it's obviously this city's fault.

[solo_patria]

Strange things, baby turtles. Who knows what it might do to us next?

[iwannabeadragon]

Don't give it that opportunity.

[solo_patria]

Conquer it before it conquers us? You surely have a point

[iwannabeadragon]

I almost always do.

[solo_patria]

I think I ought to stick with you then. It should be good for me.