[NPC] | [console] video;

[ironrule]

[Around about lunchtime on the first of January, every console in Keeliai beeps with a city-wide announcement. While the announcement initially plays without prompting, it can be replayed and re-accessed at any time, ensuring that not a single citizen or Foreigner misses it.

It's Tu Yunxu, broadcasting from inside his study at the Snakes' mansion. He looks as immaculate as ever, dressed in a silken suit with gold thread used liberally throughout.]

It's come to my attention that several people have managed to extract considerable quantities of salt from this oppressive fog. I'm offering a bounty to anyone who chooses to turn their salt over to the Snakes. Prices are negotiable. You will, of course, not be punished for choosing not to take me up on my offer - I am by no means instituting a salt tax. The salt doesn't appear to be dangerous, although I wouldn't recommend ingesting it.

This offer is open to Foreigners as well. I'm sure some of you have been... experimenting.

Thank you.

[And the announcement ends.]

Comments

[forgediron]

His knickers aren't untwisted yet.

[redlightgreenlight]

You know how high strung he is, it will take more than one round.

[forgediron]

You'd better get on that, then; he needs all the help he can get to make it that far.

In the meantime, I actually need to talk to the blushing ground-crawler about trying to monopolise the salt.

[ironrule]

[It's not precisely obvious that Yunxu does not approve of this new conversational direction, because he has more than enough experience to hide feelings of anger. But the observant will notice his eyes have gone hard.]

Certainly. [This directed towards Xuiyu; Valdis may as well no longer exist.] How may I help you?

[forgediron]

Unknot those knickers, Tu Yumyum. I need some of the salt you're hoarding, since you've been snatching it out from under our noses before the deal is closed.

You can stop doing that too. It's annoying. Makes you look like a git.

[ironrule]

My dear Xuiyu, I couldn't care less what keeping Keeliai safe makes me look like. [His smile has grown very, very thin.] Precisely how much salt do the Metalworkers need?

[forgediron]

My blushing ground-crawler, it makes you look like you're a spoiled little shit who thinks so much of himself he's endangering the city because he can't pull it out of his backside.

[Attached: Product request form. There is no offer of recompense included.]

[highprofilerichkid]

If you need the salt, I can help you get it. I've gotten good results with my extraction techniques. [He smirks.] I'll do it for free. You can count it as public service.

[SUCK IT, TUMMY YUMYUM



wait shit did he really just agree to work for free]

[ironrule]

Excellent. Everyone's happy.

[He actually sounds like he means it, too. That thin smile from earlier is a little less thin.

Spoilers: he hasn't even looked at the product request form.]

[forgediron]

[Xuiyu hums.]

Well, I can't refuse that, Stark.

But the next time my deal gets snaked out from under my nose, let's just say that there's some consoles whose maintenance might be deprioritised until I get what I was dealing for.

[Don't piss off the IT guys, Yunxu. Just don't.]

[ironrule]

[Yunxu's smile fades into a more serious expression and he nods.]

I'll be sure to avoid doing so in the future. Good day, Xuiyu. Mr Stark.

[And with that, he ends his own feed, letting the others work out the details of their impromptu business deal - or public service, as Stark referred to it.]

[highprofilerichkid]

[...shit. That's not the reaction he was hoping for from Yunxu. This is what you get for agreeing to do stuff for free without knowing the whole situation, dummy!

Oh well. They should be learning as much about the salt and gathering as much of it as they can while they still have access to the resource. Tony tells himself it'll be good for foreigner-kedan relations to help out at SI. For free. Tony sighs.]

Yeah. No problem. I'll come by SI tomorrow.

[And he'll have to figure out some other way to stick it to ol' Yumyum.]

[forgediron]

See you then.

[When he arrives, she'll tell him he's getting paid. Far be it for her to ruin the brownie points he was trying to get from the public broadcast by telling him so on the console.]

[highprofilerichkid]

[You is good people, Xuiyu. Tony likes you more every day.]