[NPC] | [console] video;

[ironrule]

[Around about lunchtime on the first of January, every console in Keeliai beeps with a city-wide announcement. While the announcement initially plays without prompting, it can be replayed and re-accessed at any time, ensuring that not a single citizen or Foreigner misses it.

It's Tu Yunxu, broadcasting from inside his study at the Snakes' mansion. He looks as immaculate as ever, dressed in a silken suit with gold thread used liberally throughout.]

It's come to my attention that several people have managed to extract considerable quantities of salt from this oppressive fog. I'm offering a bounty to anyone who chooses to turn their salt over to the Snakes. Prices are negotiable. You will, of course, not be punished for choosing not to take me up on my offer - I am by no means instituting a salt tax. The salt doesn't appear to be dangerous, although I wouldn't recommend ingesting it.

This offer is open to Foreigners as well. I'm sure some of you have been... experimenting.

Thank you.

[And the announcement ends.]

Comments

[redlightgreenlight]

[She hums softly to herself, a certain satisfied smile gracing her features.]

Plotting something, my dear Yunxu?

[ironrule]

Yes. My cooks have run out of salt.

[Really, Valdis. Really.]

[redlightgreenlight]

My apologies.

[still smiling]

I didn't mean to insalt you.

[ironrule]

Now, why do I find that difficult to -

[- and a pause. He just noticed the pun.]

- hm. I don't know if I should be flattered you're giving me such consideration, or, ah, insalted for the very same.

[redlightgreenlight]

It was sodium of me to bring up such a concept over the network.

[She manages to appear quite sincere at this point.]

There must be some solution that doesn't resalt in further tension between us.

[ironrule]

[Unfortunately, Yunxu doesn't have a background in chemistry. He has enough self-awareness - and enough knowledge of people like Valdis - to know there are subtle plays going completely over his head, though, and the idea of not understanding a conversation in its entirety is... unsettling, to say the least.

He likes holding all of the cards.]

I can't quite tell if you're serious in your intent, or saying whatever it takes to have a little fun at my expense.

[ironcoin]

[ Aroyan speaks over the public console as well, his countenance mild and pleasant, save for the faint gleam of disapproval in his eyes. ]

We were trying to discourage stockpiling, Tu Yunxu.

[ironrule]

Ah, Aroyan. [Sunny smile.] Were you? My apologies.

[Funnily enough, it doesn't sound like he's actually sorry at all. Or surprised, for that matter.]

[looksfine]

[Fortunately, Aya was back to speaking coherently after last month's little glitch in her system.]

I do not recommend this strategy,

[ironrule]

[Ah, yes. The green-skinned Foreigner. One of the few Yunxu hasn't been able to understand yet - though he doesn't hold a grudge for it, as he's pretty sure he doesn't have the context for understanding. Aya reminds him of the biological consoles more than anything.]

Which strategy would that be?

[Perfectly pleasant. Like they're discussing the weather.]

[looksfine]

[Well...the comparison isn't entirely wrong. Other than Aya being far more sentient.]

To collect the salt in larger qualities.

I could empathize with the notion of wanting to attain small samples for reasonable, safe testing in controlled environments, but you would not require our assistance for that.

[ironrule]

Perhaps it's because reasonable, safe testing in controlled environments isn't what I'm after.

[That's what the College has been doing, and the Metalworkers. 'Safe' and 'controlled' have never been words used to describe the Snakes.

She sounds as though she's trying to talk herself into the right answer, however, and Yunxu's more than happy to indulge her. He has some spare time.]

[looksfine]

Then what is it you are after?

[No point in beating around the question. His answer would, of course, affect both her reaction and subsequent verbal response.]

[ironrule]

Peace on the turtle, of course.

[Really. Did you think it would be that easy.]

[lasergrenades]

I see you're a fan of Roosevelt's Big Stick Ideology. That's 'walk softly and carry a big stick,' by the way.

[Pepper manages to sound only mildly disapproving, but she's about had it up to here with the salt in this fog, and anyone trying to weaponize it (which is exactly what this hoarding sounds like to her) will be hearing from her and almost certainly Tony. Probably with extreme prejudice.]

Spoilers: it makes you look like a bully.

[She's using the generic 'you', but the implication is clear enough.]

[ironrule]

[Even the explanation of the ideology goes over Yunxu's head, but the Foreigner's intent is obvious enough. Particularly when she follows it up with a thinly veiled accusation.

Hm. Pepper Potts. If memory serves - and it usually does - she was the one who suggested arresting him when she first arrived.]

Nightmare forbid I come across as a bully. What is it you believe I intend to do with the salt?

[lasergrenades]

You like power, and you like everyone to know you have more power than them. [He's like a sultrier, subtler version of Justin Hammer, which makes him all the more infuriating.] So, you not only hoard a substance that gives you an edge over anyone who might threaten your collection of silk suits, but you make a big announcement about it so everyone knows you've got a dagger in your back pocket.

[Pepper glares at him, but she's smiling.]

Stop me if I'm getting this wrong. Or you could cut out the theatrics and just explain your intentions clearly for once. You know. For fun.

[ironrule]

Oh, please. Don't let me stop you.

[There's a very particular smile Yunxu wears which isn't a smile at all. It's the sort that, with practice, one can learn to recognise as an expression to avoid - not because it's dangerous, but because it's the intangible equivalent to thin ice.]

I'd be happy to explain my intentions clearly. I'm extending an offer to purchase salt from anyone who needs a little extra juulan. I'd like as much as possible, but I'm happy to work with whatever we receive. I'm not looking for an edge, nor am I interested in theatrics. I am, however, curious as to why so many of you are intent on believing I mean nothing but harm.

[lasergrenades]

Maybe because the salt is harmful, which I'm sure you know about, given how smart you are. It tends to make people uncomfortable when you've got a basement full of something that can basically reduce their abilities to nil.

[She softens, marginally, and uses a more conversational tone.]

So what, exactly, are you planning to do with all this salt once you get it? If you're really not trying to weaponize it, why not share with the class? We'd have no reason to 'believe' anything if we knew. And then we can get out of your well-styled hair.

[He's playing some kind of game, of that she's sure. It's probably a very long-term one, but if his intended usage of the salt is really as innocuous as he's implying, she'd be less inclined to get in his face about it, thin ice or not. Then again, she doesn't trust him, so any answer she gets will be held under scrutiny.]

[ironrule]

[Yunxu laughs.] You're not in my hair now, Lady Potts. I do apologise, but if there's something I'm keeping from my own family, I'm hardly being unfair for keeping it from the rest of the city, as well. Or are the Foreigners claiming a right to special treatment?

[wolfstrike]

Need some fish to go with that salt? Sounds yummy to me.

[Nevermind the discouragement to eating it.]

[ironrule]

I beg your pardon?

[Yes, it's most likely a joke or some other attempt at humour, but Yunxu isn't accustomed to people taking time out of their day for nothing more than making a joke to his face. It's... oddly appealing.]

[wolfstrike]

No salted fish, huh? Guess I still got a lot to learn about Kedanese food.

But if not for food, what else would you use it for? Some sort of scrub or maybe that crystal stuff I've heard about? Gotta be some sort of use for it if you're hoarding it like a rat.

[ironrule]

You're right. There does.

[Which is about all Yunxu will say on the matter, just as with everyone else who's asked.]

Do you have any salt to sell? Or do you, like so many of your compatriots, simply want me to reveal all my secrets to you?

[wolfstrike]

Secrets have a funny way of coming out eventually, and when they do its usually not pretty.

[He's pretty sure they'll find out what Yunxu is up to eventually.]