text | anonymous console post

[flowrite]

I am in need of a very specific substance in order to survive, and that substance no longer exists in this world.

I have been told death is not permanent in this world.

When I die, am I just going to keep dying over and over again?

Will I revive on the brink of death, only to die again shortly thereafter?

I wonder if anyone knows. I suppose we'll find out.



((ooc note: Fai is using a minor translation spell to be able to communicate in English, since he does not normally read/write a language anyone else will understand.))

Comments

[purered]

I do not know who this is, but I implore you, if you have not already sought help from the Healers Guild, please do so. I know it seems impossible, but they may be able to replicate what you require, or find some substitute. And if not them, then perhaps someone else.

[flowrite]

It would be nice if it were that simple, but I'm afraid it isn't.

[purered]

Would you be willing to go into the specifics of your situation?

[flowrite]

No. All I can say is that a deal was struck with a very powerful magician to spare my life in the recent past, and the terms of my survival were very specific.

[purered]

It's possible those terms may not apply here.

[flowrite]

If they didn't, it wouldn't be much of a deal, would it?

[purered]

True, those sorts of deals can be tricky. But the Dreaming has a means of affecting particularly powerful magic - perhaps it has had an effect on your circumstances and there may be a way around.

[flowrite]

I'm sorry, I should have been more clear: I'm not looking for a way around this. If my soul gem won't let me stay dead, that's good enough for me. I'm just curious what will happen.

[purered]

Forgive me for being forward, but why would you condemn yourself to that kind of existence if there may be an alternative?

[flowrite]

It won't be forever. Everything ends eventually. As long as I don't die permanently, I won't be wasting what others have given me. So it really doesn't matter.

text;

[isochrone]

[ That sounds... like a truly horrifying prospect, and Elizabeth's heart jitters in sympathy. ]

There must be something we can do! What was special about that substance?

[flowrite]

I can't tell you that without giving myself away. But there's only one source of it in existence.

[isochrone]

[ Well that ain't gonna fly with her. ]

Well being defeatist certainly isn't going to fix anything! You don't know until you try, so let's try.

[flowrite]

Ah, but I do know. When I was made this way, I was told in no uncertain terms that without this one thing I will die.

I don't mind, though. I should have been dead many times over by now. I'm just curious how the soul gems work in a situation like mine.

[isochrone]

Just like you knew you'd find yourself in a world like this? Just like you knew you'd meet people who can do the most extraordinary things as easily as some of us do our daily routine? Were those things predicted in no uncertain terms?

I don't believe in unchangeable destinies, sir or madam. I know very well that one alteration can make every difference.

Now stop being such a naysayer and give the rest of us, and yourself, a proper chance.

[flowrite]

Those kinds of things are daily routine to some of us.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I won't stay dead anyway, so it doesn't matter. Please don't worry on my account, it isn't worth it.

[isochrone]

Well nothing about being here is routine, for anyone, so you can't use that as an excuse!

Don't be ridiculous, anyone would be worried about someone who thinks they're about to die! What kind of people do you take us for?

[flowrite]

What I need is biological, along the same lines of needing a head to keep living. This world may be remarkable, but if you cut my head off I'm still going to die.

You're very persistent, aren't you? I'm telling you, it's not worth it.

[isochrone]

No one's talking about cutting off heads, for Founders sake... I'm just saying,

You don't get to tell someone else what is worth their time and effort.

Besides... you wouldn't have been asking these things, even anonymously, if you truly didn't care.

[flowrite]

I'm cursed. I always have been. It doesn't matter what I want, what matters is what's best for everyone else.

[purrns]

[Oh no D: ]

I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there a way to recreate the source?

Or maybe it won't kill you here? I mean. The soul gems have to hold some power over that kind of thing, right?

[flowrite]

Theoretically, but any method of recreation would be just as difficult to manage as getting the original back. At present it would require leaving this world.

I can feel it eating away at me already. I suppose it's possible my soul gem will keep me on the brink of death. I hadn't considered that before.

[purrns]

Which...we can't do without dying.

[Damned if you do, damned if you don't. ]

I'm really sorry. I wish I could help you.

[flowrite]

That's sweet of you, but please don't worry about me.

I probably shouldn't have posted this at all.

[purrns]

No no, it's good that you did.

Maybe someone will be able to find an answer for you. There are all kinds of people here,
with all kinds of powers. Someone night be able to help.

text; anonymous in turn

[saintoflangley]

I was in somewhat of a similar situation when I first arrived. Speak to Kyde at the College; he may be able to help.

[flowrite]

I appreciate the suggestion, but my situation can't be helped. I'm glad you were able to find help, though.

[saintoflangley]

This place has a way of providing people with what they need, I've noticed. Even when you think it's impossible.

[flowrite]

At what cost? Nothing is ever free. Especially the impossible.

[saintoflangley]

Something may come at a high cost, but nothing is ever impossible.

[Killing the Jackal had come at a high price. Keeping David and Marie and the kids safe had come at a high price. Getting rid of Jason Bourne from David's head...that had been a thirteen-year endeavor, and seemed impossible, and that had come at a high goddamned price. All of it had seemed impossible. But it hadn't been, because nobody had dared to think it so.]

[flowrite]

And sometimes the cost isn't worth it. But thank you for the suggestion, all the same. What exactly does Kyde do, if I may ask?

[saintoflangley]

He's a chemist. He provided me with something I need to function when I thought it was impossible, too.

[flowrite]

A chemist? I'll keep that in mind, thank you.

[saintoflangley]

You're welcome.

I hope you get what you need. While I haven't yet died, I have been on the brink of death.

It's not pleasant. I wouldn't wish that on you.

[annihilist]

What's the substance, how often do you need it, and why does it no longer exist?

[flowrite]

If I tell you all that, someone might be able to figure out who I am. I'm not looking for pity. I'm just curious how this world works.

I can say that I have a few weeks left, though.

[annihilist]

This isn't about pity. It's about logic. We're all going to figure out who you are in a few weeks anyway. So, you're either going to have to deal with the inevitable flood of people who try to save you at that point, or you can do it now before you start suffering.

Don't be an idiot.

[flowrite]

I disagree. No one will notice, and that's fine with me. I prefer it that way.

Funny, someone's always calling me an idiot. I must be pretty good at it.

[annihilist]

Foreigners aren't exactly numerous. You have not gone unnoticed, and you won't go unnoticed if something as abstractly horrible as repeatedly dying over and over begins to occur. It hasn't even happened yet, and you've already drawn this much attention.

People are going to be looking, now that you've raised the issue. People are going to care about you, whether you like it or not. Believe me, I know. It's simultaneously among the most exceptionally aggravating and powerful forces in the world. It will be shaped to keep you safe, if there's a single shred of a chance it's possible.

[flowrite]

That was a mistake on my part. I shouldn't have done this.

I'd rather they didn't, if it matters at all.

[annihilist]

Well, the cat's out of the bag now.

It does matter. I understand not wanting to be saved.

[flowrite]

It's not that. [Although it's not the same without Kurogane, without his ninja here to save him. But he keeps getting his idiot self into these situations, and the ninja has already sacrificed too much on his behalf. So maybe it's better this way.] I'm just not worth the bother. It would be better if everyone realized that.

[annihilist]

You're alive, aren't you? You're a living, breathing being?

[flowrite]

Yes.

[annihilist]

Then you're worth the bother, full stop.