video; fanfic narration. because he can.

[choiced]

[OOC: Warning for some smuttiness! I will avoid explicit stuff, and replies should likewise avoid explicit stuff, but there is absolutely smuttiness going on.]


[Zelos will be honest -- he didn't really know what to think of the fanfiction at the Foreigner Festival when he first realised what it was, and he hasn't gone out of his way to find any more since. There's something about the idea of someone narrating his life that doesn't sit well with him.

But then. But then.

He gets his hands on these.

When the camera turns on, Keeliai gets treated to one of Zelos's smarmiest grins. He's holding a book -- or a paper document that does its best to pass for a book, anyway -- and he waves it at the screen.]

Hello there, all my beautiful hunnies! I have a special treat for everyone today. You know those stories people write about us? [He waves the papers some more.] I hit the jackpot! You'll never guess what I found.

[Some people can maybe guess.]

Hang on, I'm going to read out the best part. If anyone knows who 'Inaev Morenth' is, by the way, I'm happy to pay you to tell me. Okay, so here we go! This one's called The Hot Dust.

[And Zelos clears his throat, repositions the papers, and... proceeds to narrate what is unmistakeably, from the very first word, smut. Perhaps mercifully, people can turn off their consoles whenever they want.]

Comments

text

[ruinsprofessor]

Zelos, where are you?

video;

[choiced]

[Zelos pauses in his narration long enough to read the text, and laughs. Come on, Raine. He's not that stupid. He doesn't even reply -- just keeps going.

The background of the video is a pretty nondescript storage area, but if Raine looks closely enough, she might be able to make out a business name on one of the boxes.]

[ruinsprofessor]

[Of course he's hidden himself away. Of course. Raine spends a while squinting at the broadcast, trying to discern a marker.]

[Then she takes to her rheaird. It takes some trial and error, but maybe an hour later Raine is poking her head into this particular storage area, eyes narrowed.]

[choiced]

[Zelos doesn't notice her right away. By the time she arrives, he's off the network and enjoying more of Morenth's writing by himself. All told, it takes about ten seconds for him to idly look up across the room and see her.]

Raine? Oh, come on! How did you find me? [No, wait, that's the wrong question. Here's a better one:] If you're here to stop me, you wasted a trip. See? I'm back to being a law-abiding citizen.

[ruinsprofessor]

[...if he doesn't know, she's not going to tell him. He'll be more careful next time if she does. Instead Raine smiles very faintly.]

I have my ways.

[Which is entirely true.]

Additionally, I'm not a member of the police, meaning that your abiding by laws counts only a little in this context. Zelos, what on earth were you thinking?

[choiced]

[Siiiiiiiigh.] I was thinking this is good stuff, and it deserves to be shared with the world.

[He has no illusions whatsoever that Raine is going to accept that answer.]

[ruinsprofessor]

By dramatic reading of pornography.

[Apparently so. Raine scowls.]

Zelos.

[It's the mom big sister voice.]

[choiced]

What?

[He honestly does not get what the big deal here is. Okay, fine, maybe there should have been a warning, but he's agreed to do that next time! And for the record, Raine's big sister voice is mildly terrifying.]

[ruinsprofessor]

[What do you do with someone who has no idea why you're mad with them? Raine frowns more thunderously, as though that will get her message across.]

[...Perhaps this method has merit for relaying coded transmissions, but apart from that...]

As far as public readings go, that was in exceptionally poor taste.

[choiced]

You didn't like it?

[It's anyone's guess whether Zelos is genuinely puzzled, or just trolling.]

Why not? It was glorious! Fine, maybe it wasn't good taste, but it was a nice change of pace, don't you think?

[ruinsprofessor]

No, it was not a nice change of pace.

[Offended! Raine's tone gets higher-pitched.]

That was pornography, Zelos.