video; fanfic narration. because he can.

[choiced]

[OOC: Warning for some smuttiness! I will avoid explicit stuff, and replies should likewise avoid explicit stuff, but there is absolutely smuttiness going on.]


[Zelos will be honest -- he didn't really know what to think of the fanfiction at the Foreigner Festival when he first realised what it was, and he hasn't gone out of his way to find any more since. There's something about the idea of someone narrating his life that doesn't sit well with him.

But then. But then.

He gets his hands on these.

When the camera turns on, Keeliai gets treated to one of Zelos's smarmiest grins. He's holding a book -- or a paper document that does its best to pass for a book, anyway -- and he waves it at the screen.]

Hello there, all my beautiful hunnies! I have a special treat for everyone today. You know those stories people write about us? [He waves the papers some more.] I hit the jackpot! You'll never guess what I found.

[Some people can maybe guess.]

Hang on, I'm going to read out the best part. If anyone knows who 'Inaev Morenth' is, by the way, I'm happy to pay you to tell me. Okay, so here we go! This one's called The Hot Dust.

[And Zelos clears his throat, repositions the papers, and... proceeds to narrate what is unmistakeably, from the very first word, smut. Perhaps mercifully, people can turn off their consoles whenever they want.]

Comments

[simulsimul]

[Eyes narrow.]

Would you appreciate your sister clicking on this by accident?

[Yes he went there.]

At the very least you should be declaring what's in it so people can ignore it at their will.

[Dad Lecture ahoy.]

[choiced]

[Eye roll. Goddess damn it, Kratos. Why do you have to ruin everything. Why do you have to make Zelos actually think about what he's doing. That gives you the moral high ground, and that's just... wrong.]

If she liked the writing, sure. Who am I to say she's not allowed?

[This is not at all how Zelos would actually feel.]

[simulsimul]

[His eyebrows lift.]

So you wouldn't mind if someone left a book out and she happened to stumble upon 'Betty's undulating body'?

[choiced]

[Twitch.]

Nope.

[simulsimul]

I think you're lying. And not even very well. I'm disappointed, Zelos.

[Gravely. If you're going to try to lie, you could at least do it well, like you normally do. He can still see straight through you.]

[choiced]

[.... Why. Why is Kratos being disappointed actually giving Zelos pause. Since when has he cared.]

Here's some good news -- she's not here, so I don't have to worry about it. [Shortly.] Go on. I'm sure I interrupted something important you were doing. Like -- hey, what do you do, anyway?

[simulsimul]

[Good question, since he's perhaps partway joking. ... It's hard to tell. What isn't hard to tell is the bad attempt at backlash.]

I work at the Guild.

[Patiently, as if Zelos isn't attempting to imply he's useless.]

You're capable of being more thoughtful than this.

[And that's where the disappointment might lay. There's ways to have done something like this without risking someone stumbling on it unduly. Someone who, in another life, might have been friends with Seles.]