video; fanfic narration. because he can.

[choiced]

[OOC: Warning for some smuttiness! I will avoid explicit stuff, and replies should likewise avoid explicit stuff, but there is absolutely smuttiness going on.]


[Zelos will be honest -- he didn't really know what to think of the fanfiction at the Foreigner Festival when he first realised what it was, and he hasn't gone out of his way to find any more since. There's something about the idea of someone narrating his life that doesn't sit well with him.

But then. But then.

He gets his hands on these.

When the camera turns on, Keeliai gets treated to one of Zelos's smarmiest grins. He's holding a book -- or a paper document that does its best to pass for a book, anyway -- and he waves it at the screen.]

Hello there, all my beautiful hunnies! I have a special treat for everyone today. You know those stories people write about us? [He waves the papers some more.] I hit the jackpot! You'll never guess what I found.

[Some people can maybe guess.]

Hang on, I'm going to read out the best part. If anyone knows who 'Inaev Morenth' is, by the way, I'm happy to pay you to tell me. Okay, so here we go! This one's called The Hot Dust.

[And Zelos clears his throat, repositions the papers, and... proceeds to narrate what is unmistakeably, from the very first word, smut. Perhaps mercifully, people can turn off their consoles whenever they want.]

Comments

[simulsimul]

I wasn't aware a reason was required.

I've been keeping them in Raine's office.

[Without having actually asked, but he'd been fairly sure she wouldn't mind.]

[annihilist]

[This is more uncomfortable than Devin will admit and he's thankful he knows how not to show it.]

'Required' is perhaps a strong word. Typically there's a life event or some pretense or other.

[And typically you have to like someone to want to give them a gift.]

Or an ulterior motive, in a less genial context.

[simulsimul]

I haven't had much opportunity to give gifts. Consider it a selfish act of kindness. Or simply sharing intelligence, perhaps.

[Faintly amused. Honestly, Devin's the one making it a big deal.]

[annihilist]

[It's weird, okay? He doesn't know how to do normal about this sort of thing.]

Ah, yes, the classic marketing scheme of renaming something. Very well, if you're going to insist this much.

[simulsimul]

[Prickling makes it weirder, Devin. Perhaps uncharacteristically, Kratos chuckles.]

You remind me of someone I know. He reacted the same way when I first gave him anything.

[Unless one counts naming the Swallow, but Kratos doesn't. That's hardly tangible, and had happened far before he and Yuan actually spoke to each other.]

[annihilist]

[His life skills need to be expanded to include proper social interaction.

There is an eyeroll.]

People around this city keep telling me I remind them of someone. And here I thought I was unique.

[simulsimul]

Not so much. Does that offend you?

[Still amused.]

[annihilist]

Not in the slightest. The rate of occurrence for that comparison just seems unusually high, and I have to wonder what that says about the individuals everyone else associates with.

[simulsimul]

Most people know someone who pretends to be someone they're not using anger and rudeness as a cover.

[It's not an unusual self-defence mechanism, is what he's saying. His sister had been one of them too.]

[annihilist]

[Oh, hells. Really, of all the times Kratos could choose to confront him on this, he has to do it on the public bloody network?

Pointing it out is bad enough, and real anger flares up behind Devin's eyes, even as he's laughing coldly.]

It's adorable that you think you know me that well.

[simulsimul]

[Pretty sure everyone's more focussed on the porn, Devin.

[But Kratos is, at least, somewhat aware that he's prodded a nerve. ... It's not dissuading him from anything generally; it's just making him re-evaluate talking about this right here and now. It's been a long time since he and Yuan were new at being friends.]

As you say. Would you like to come pick up the map yourself, or shall I drop by?

[annihilist]

[He knows at least one person who can split their attention and is very invested in bothering him about this as well.]

I'll be at the Hotel the rest of the night, if you're in the area. Otherwise, I'll retrieve it tomorrow.

[simulsimul]

[Any area is 'in the area', for him.]

Alright. I'll drop by shortly.

[And possibly see how much of a snit Devin's in.]

[annihilist]

[A fact which Devin will note to remember in the future.]

I wait with bated breath.

[He will be in a very subdued snit; giving Kratos further ammunition is not high on Devin's list of priorities.]