tushanshu | 001; Text

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Skipping the bullshit and heading right into the formalities here.
Fresh fish stepping up to the bars of this prison to say while it's an inconvenience to be here we could always take this as a chance to expand on our knowledge of other cultures and worlds, hell maybe even other species as there's no limit to the possibilities before us.

So yo, what's up? Name's Di-Stri and I build sweetass bots in my spare time. You provide materials and I might be able to work something out for anyone who's interested, anything from something to keep you company to a full on death battle bot to fight with. Artificial intelligence included might cost a bit more than me simply being bored as it takes up more time and effort and such a delicate technology has to be handled with care on a case by case basis.

What about the rest of you? Any special sets of skills, hobbies or even traditions you liked to indulge in back in your worlds?

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Can you combine the two? Like, say, a Doombot with a chainsaw that can also serve chocolate milkshakes? Because it's totally unfair the FF get one of those.

That'd fall under the list of pretty fucking easy, like no sweat on that at all. Like I said, I'd just need the materials for it and any specifics you might need. Say if you wanted a milkshake prepared at a certain time daily on a schedule or if you just wanted it to be able to get you one whenever you asked. Also if we're talking fetching milkshakes from your kitchen or having the materials inside it's chest cavity to make them, which would be a little trickier and you'd have to replace the ingredients manually based on the shake intake, but it is possible. Though I'd personally suggest the former because an internal freezer and blender with a dispenser would be a bitch to maintenance daily.

Man, you know, I'm kind of way too lazy for all that maintenance, so I'd rather it just be programmed to get the things it needs for milkshakes on its own. It doesn't have to store it in his body or anything, though blender crotch would be amazing andhorrific, but if I have to do all the work just for it to make the milkshake, it kind of defeats the whole purpose... Though it totally needs a blender dick... For self-defense.

A blender dick could be made possible, I don't see a problem with this. It'd have to be detachable though for simple cleaning and while it would be more convenient to program it to clean itself most of them don't work well with water so what I can do is make it something you'll just have to wash off in the sink if that'd work out.

[Just the longest silence as he processes all this.]

Dude... I don't want to wash a robot dick in the sink. That's kind of awkward, you know?

[...]

I don't want a robot anymore.

Are you seriously going to deny yourself a badass robot over a few detachable robodick blades? No one would even know you were washing a robodick unless you specifically told them hold up guys my robot needs a good rubdown in the sink because I got him dirty last night this'll just take a sec.

Well... Uh... Yeah, I kind of have to tell them eventually. I mean, I live with people too. I'm pretty sure they'll start asking question if there's robo-peen in the kitchen sink. Who knows what horrible things could happen if they found that?

Lives and maybe even butts could be at stake.

If it helps I could always make it look less like an actual dick and more like blender blades that just happen to be shaped in a phallic manner.

I'm not so sure it would help, actually... Now that I think about it, a blender dick milkshake is seriously suggestive.

Weird.

Possibly not given the fact that no matter what it looks like and how you hide it from other people, you'd always know yourself just what it is you're washing down and the implications behind that. You were the one who suggested it bro, not me.

[Fighting robot sounds super scifi, and like Dorian needs to keep Toby away from it. They have a pet magic carpet. They do not need a pet battle bot. God forbid, they definitely don't need one that can converse.]

[Either heading off the trouble or bracing for the inevitable, Dorian gives a voice reply, soft and amused, in a public-school accent.]

Not robots, but then, our robots weren't that advanced. I might have taken an interest if they were. Dorian Gray. No particular hobbies at the moment, except perhaps learning impossible languages. Keeliai is very good at that.

There's nothing wrong with multilingualism as a hobby, especially if there isn't anything else that catches your interest enough to keep your interest. I imagine it could be rather useful under certain circumstances and may even consider looking into it myself once I get a few matters sorted out here.

The automatic translating of speech makes a difficult task even more difficult. [alas] You sound as if you're handling it all very well.

Without seemingly impossible challenges things could get boring fast, so it just gives you something else to try and overcome.

I've seen a lot of shit in my day, something like this doesn't really surprise me as much as it would others.

From a particularly exciting world?

['Exciting' is possibly Aristocratic Victorian English for 'full of disaster and death']

[ Squint. Gavroche can't really understand half of this lingo or anything of the sort, but he's able to piece together a little bit. Thank God he knows how to read! ]

Monsieur Di-stri, I suppose isn't nice to meet ya, eh? I don't got skills other than how to live. [ And, cautiously: ] What's 'artificial intelligence'?

[It's just a kid, so there's nothing wrong with switching on his video function.]

How to live is a very important skill on it's own, you'd be surprised how many people lack it these days. Artificial intelligence means taking a machine and giving it the ability to think and feel like a person.

That sounds... [ Confusing. Incredibly complicated. He shakes his head. ] Why would you wanna do that?

There's a lot of reasons why someone would make it, one of them being to prove that they can as a way of showing off their skill. Or maybe it's just as simple as if you're all alone with no one to talk to you, you make something that can keep you company.

Don't need nuffin' to keep you company if you find other people. [ Gavroche shrugs. ] Why d'you wanna show your skill off? If you can do it, it's good enough, eh?

I enjoyed studying history and philosophy, as well as old legends.

[He won't mention the arts of the boudoir, however.]

Do you mean epistemology, logic, metaphysics, ethics or aesthetics? Or is it just any type of philosophy overall that you like to study? I prefer epistemology, logic and metapysics myself though I've spent some time touching up on a lot of the other categories and subcategories as well.

It was more of a general study than anything specific. I found the old Hellene philosophers all quite fascinating, but I never had time to engage in a deeper study of only one school.

[And now all of his philosophy books are back at home. Boo.]

Agreed on account of being particularly interested in Platonism in specific. I had a lot of time on my hands growing up so I was able to expand over more subjects than one would normally.

[Who needs books when you have a computer?]

Plato was very interesting, yes. [He smiles.] I had a great many subjects to study- my guardian was quite firm on us having a broad education. Of late, I had been studying more legends than philosophy.

I had the luck of only having my own schedule to follow, so I could switch it up whenever I felt the need to move onto something else. What kinds of legends?

Alas, I did not have such freedom- though I suppose I was indulged more than many. And I was researching the Master of the Straits, the guardian of the strait between Alba and Terre d'Ange- or, ah, Britain and France, if you know those names.

While I'm aware of Britain and France, I can't say I've heard of the Master of the Straits. What kind of legend is it?

He blocks the passage between Alba and Terre d'Ange, allowing only a few ships to pass. I suppose he is less legend than unlikely reality, but we hope to uncover how he came to be there, and what the source of his power is.

Have you discovered just what he is or has anyone actually seen him before?

Sailors who have attempted the straits say that he appears as a face formed out of the waters. Most dismiss that as sailors' tales, but the passage is truly blocked.

Edited (apostrophes, my mortal enemy) 2013-03-21 18:12 (UTC)

If they say that's what they see then it's probably true, I can't think of any reason for them to lie about something like that. How is it blocked? Does it destroy ships that try to pass or just have some sort of barrier that prevents passage?

Precisely. Admiral Quintilius Rousse has seen the face on the waters, and he is an honest man.

They say the Master of the Straits has control of wind and water- he creates massive storms that will sink any ship that does not turn back. In the past he has allowed Thelesis de Mornay, a poet, to pass for a song, and the Cruarch of Alba and a delegation of his to pass for reasons unknown.

And if it's old enough to be considered a legend then clearly this has been going on for quite some time with little headway in the mystery solving department. Has the pattern of who he allows through shown that only those who are peaceful are allowed or have those who wish to cause trouble been able to get through as well?

When they get through, it seems to be because they can give him something that he wants. The pattern is unclear, though- his desires are... obscure.

So it's something more along the lines of a toll bridge than divine choice. I can see where that would be a major problem.

It is quite a frustrating area of study. We were waiting for word from Quintilius Rousse, who was to attempt to parley with him, but...

[Events got in the way.]

Things didn't quite go as planned I take it, as is the case with anything of importance in matters like these.

We were attacked and the messenger was never able to reach us.

Was the timing of the attack an unfortunate coincidence or do you suspect maybe it could have been related in some manner?

I suspect it was related. Why, I cannot say- we had our enemies, but none who would make such a foolish move. [He frowns. He knows the story now, thanks to Favrielle, but it's still vague on the details surrounding the attack.]

Maybe someone already knows something and didn't want you to find out, it's always a possibility. Or maybe they have reasons for not wanting anyone to know at all, including themselves. There are those who believe that some things are better left unknown, it would depend on the beliefs of the attackers.

I believe it's likely that they were against the possibility of an alliance with Alba, should the Straits be opened. That would imply that they either plotted against the throne or were involved with foreign interests.

[And there was that barbarian invasion shortly after he died.]

Di-Stri? Also, the bot-building resources are not very plentiful, on Tu Vishan. You may be out of luck.

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