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[hammer]

[ The image of a rather ordinary, unremarkable looking man fills the screen. He’s clean-shaven, wearing a pair of black-framed glasses, and he’s got brown hair, cut short and though it’s a little messy, there’s something about it that suggests that it had been styled at one point earlier in the day. He’s just slightly disheveled, which those familiar with the comings and goings of individuals to Keeliai might recognize as a sign of a new arrival. ]

So this is… [ There’s a moment of silence, as he trails off and glances away from the camera. ] …different.

[ It only lasts for a second, before he looks back and rolls his eyes. ]

The whole—I mean, well… Whatever.

[ He takes a deep breath, lets it out, and pulls himself together. ]

Right, okay. I was given a place to live but no job, and I’m guessing that it isn’t free rent forever. So if there’s, I don’t know, a job center? Help wanted ads? Some turtle world version of Craigslist? Something? Could someone point me in the right direction?

Comments

[hammer]

[ The momentary enthusiasm Justin feels at learning that there are people willing to help new arrivals is summarily dashed when he hears those two dreaded words strung together into one horrible name: Tony Stark. ]

Oh. Well. That's... That's great!

[ And maybe it would be convincing if he didn't sound like he had suddenly taken ill. ]

I'll have to look them up.

[ Never. ]

[dracobin]

[Temeraire is ordinarily terrible at interpreting human emotions, but even so, the sudden change in tone is difficult to miss.]

Well, I am certainly very glad you think so--but have I said something wrong? Only, you do not sound pleased about it, at all.

[hammer]

Oh, uh, no. No, it's not—It's nothing like that.

[ Badmouthing the great and powerful Tony Stark never turns out very well for him. And obviously he's here - of course he's here, he's like VISA: everywhere Justin wants to be - so everyone probably loves him already. ]

It's just I knew a guy named, uh, Bruce Wayne in college. We didn't get along. It brought back some bad memories, that's all.

[dracobin]

Oh, I am very sorry to hear that, but this Mr Wayne seems to be altogether a very pleasant person, from what I have heard from him. Still, if your memories are so very unpleasant, perhaps you might seek out Mr Stark instead? What sorts of things did you do, before you came here?

[hammer]

Oh, I'm sure he is. It's just an unfortunate coincidence. The guy I knew was a douchebag, he went on to be a crack addicted porn star. I doubt it's the same one.

[ This is the problem with lying. It just keeps getting worse because Justin doesn't know when to shut up. ]

But yeah, definitely I'll look up the other guy.

[ No. Never. Thank god for topic changes. ]

I did a lot of things, actually. Ran a business, invented some things, made some weapons, developed some software. I'm an engineer, inventor, businessman. I wear a lot of hats. What about you?What do you do?

[dracobin]

Well, I am sorry to hear it. [Pause.] Pray, what is a porn star?

Oh, software, that is like computers, is it not? [It is a topic that has drawn a great deal of Temeraire's interest, of late, and his tone of voice brightens considerably.] Are you familiar with machines like this console at home, then?

Well, as for myself, I run a small courier service, and I practice drills with my captain, and sell fertilizer; but in England, we were part of the Royal Aerial Corps.

[This is the part where he, as usual, conveniently forgets to mention that he is a dragon.]

[hammer]

It’s guy who makes X-rated movies.

[ This is probably a bad conversation to have with strangers. It probably makes him look like some kind of deviant. He’s just going to focus on the rest of the conversation and hope he can salvage it. ]

It is, yes! Computers are some of the most valuable tools in my line of work, actually. Everything’s done on them.

[ The other guy’s military? Oh. Well. Justin brightens, relaxing a little. ]

British military, huh? I worked for the American military. Supplied them with weaponry. But you’re Royal Aerial Corps, so that means you’re a pilot? You fly?

[dracobin]

Oh, movies! Yes, I have heard of those. They sound very exciting; it would be famous to be in one of those, would it not?

Well, if you work with computers, then it may very well be easier to find a job. There has been some curious technology falling from the sky, of late, and I should imagine anyone with the knowledge to get them working again should be welcome, even with relations with the kedan as they stand.

Oh, yes, I do fly, but I am not a pilot: I am a dragon.

[hammer]

[ A number of responss run through Justin's mind. Things like uh, well, it usually depends on the kind of movie and what do you mean, relations with the kedan as they stand? But everything he might say gets ignored in favor of one very important point he feels that he needs to clarify. ]

A, a dragon? Did I—Like an actual dragon?

[dracobin]

Oh, yes, but you need not worry: I do not eat anyone, or destroy anything for no reason, or kidnap princesses, as I am told dragons were wont to do in a great many other people's myths and legends.

[hammer]

Oh, no. I figured. I mean, well, if you were that kind of dragon, you wouldn't talk to people, right? You'd just be flying along, pulverizing villages and eating young ladies or whatever. I just— [ Sound like an idiot. ] It's my first time. Meeting a dragon.

[dracobin]

You could, but that would be terribly rude of you; and then it would be perfectly within anyone's rights to come and try and stop you, should it come to that. Certainly no dragons I have ever known would try it [oh wait Iskierka] which is to say, the eating young ladies part, at least.

That is perfectly all right; there are a great many people who do not seem to have dragons in their world. It is very curious.

[hammer]

My world has stories about dragons. And legends. But no proof that they ever actually existed and there aren't any there now. At least, not any anyone knows about. You can't turn into something else, can you? Disguise yourself as something other than a dragon?

[dracobin]

Well, there are legends, in China, about people who have turned into dragons because they swallowed something from a dragon's hoard, and it stands to reason that the reverse might also somehow be possible, but I have not heard of anything like that actually occurring in my time. But it sounds as if it it would be very famous to be human, for a while, as long as I could change back, after.

[hammer]

Trust me. Speaking as a human? Stay a dragon. It's probably like a million times better.

You can fly, for one thing. Most of us can't fly.

[dracobin]

Well, yes, but it would be much easier to type with these consoles, and write out formulas with a pen, and I would not have to worry about breaking a book's spine every time I try to open it, either: I cannot even do that when I am at my usual size, at home.

[nerrrrrrrrd]

[hammer]

Maybe you should hire a, not a translator, per se, but someone who can help you out with those things. Kind of like a scribe. Only with more duties.

[ A beat. ]

What size are you normally?

[dracobin]

I suppose, but capital is hard enough to come by, these days; I have been investing in lessons, so I might try to learn the written language of the kedan, but it is quite expensive, and then there is the food to think about, besides.

Oh, nearabouts a hundred and twenty feet from tip to tail, before I arrived here, and likely to grow larger still, before I stop. [Proudly: size is an indicator of rank among dragons, and he is one of the larger ones.]

[hammer]

I could help out if you needed it. Not for money or anything. Just, you know, if you needed a hand.

Before you arrived here? What do you mean? How big are you now?

[dracobin]

Oh, that is very generous of you, but I manage tolerably well at present. [Fond as he is of free things, he still has his pride to think of, after all.]

Only thirty feet: they have shrunk me, here, and it is not at all pleasant to be so small again, even though I suppose it is easier to get about in the city than it would otherwise have been.

[hammer]

How did they shrink a dragon? Was it magic? Or some kind of... Well, to be honest, I don't really know of any technology that could do that. I mean, theoretically, I guess it could be done, but I haven't seen anything like that yet.

[dracobin]

If I knew how they had done it, I should certainly be spending my time trying to reverse the process--although I suppose it would be harder to fit in my apartment, after. The technology does not exist when I am from, at least, and the magic certainly does not, either.

[hammer]

Fitting into your apartment's great and all, but you should still be able to return to your regular size when you want. Maybe we can, I don't know. If we were in my world, this would be easier for me to do. But maybe I could up with a technological solution. Like a, some kind of device that affects the energy field around you, maybe. Disrupts the magic that keeps you small. I mean, I don't know much about magic. I'd have to learn, but once I did I could try.

[dracobin]

Oh, I should be much indebted to you if you could! [Beat.] Although I am not certain much of the food on the turtle would last long, after, if my appetite were to return with my size: unless you could find some magical means of reducing that, as well.

[hammer]

What does a dragon eat? If you don't mind my asking.

[ He's going to go out on a limb here and assume that it isn't people, since it wouldn't make much sense to talk to the people he was just going to eat. ]