Agent John Colby, FDA (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fdaterminator) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tushanshu2013-07-01 06:22 pm
fdaterminator) wrote in tushanshu2013-07-01 06:22 pm
Entry tags:
001 | Video
[This is John Colby.
He’s one of the best agents in the F.D.A.
When John Colby took a butcher knife to the face, he received facial reconstruction surgery that left him with half a terminator face and the awesome perk of a multi-million dollar processor where his damaged brain once was.
The injuries peppering his face and the arm in the sling have nothing to do with that injury. Those came from an angry octogenarian after she discovered he was two-timing her with another man.
It wasn't pretty.]
All right everyone, listen up. Agent John Colby, F.D.A. [And with that he flashes his badge to the camera with his good arm.] I've got two questions for you: first, any of science nerds out there? I need one of you to come and look at my eye. [Yes, the creepy red one, not the normal one.] It's not working and I prefer to use two goddamn eyes. The door says "FI-1C." Knock first or I'll shoot.
Second, and this is important so listen up, where is the cheapest place I buy booze? This is not something to take in sober. And I really don't give a shit about any illegal chicken joints--if this place even has chicken--so let's not even pretend that might be an issue, 'kay? I just want to get shitfaced in peace.
[He pauses.] Actually, I got one more question, though it's more a request. If anyone here has seen my partner, an insufferable little prick named Chu, let me know. Ton, if you're watching this you better fucking contact me, got it?
He’s one of the best agents in the F.D.A.
When John Colby took a butcher knife to the face, he received facial reconstruction surgery that left him with half a terminator face and the awesome perk of a multi-million dollar processor where his damaged brain once was.
The injuries peppering his face and the arm in the sling have nothing to do with that injury. Those came from an angry octogenarian after she discovered he was two-timing her with another man.
It wasn't pretty.]
All right everyone, listen up. Agent John Colby, F.D.A. [And with that he flashes his badge to the camera with his good arm.] I've got two questions for you: first, any of science nerds out there? I need one of you to come and look at my eye. [Yes, the creepy red one, not the normal one.] It's not working and I prefer to use two goddamn eyes. The door says "FI-1C." Knock first or I'll shoot.
Second, and this is important so listen up, where is the cheapest place I buy booze? This is not something to take in sober. And I really don't give a shit about any illegal chicken joints--if this place even has chicken--so let's not even pretend that might be an issue, 'kay? I just want to get shitfaced in peace.
[He pauses.] Actually, I got one more question, though it's more a request. If anyone here has seen my partner, an insufferable little prick named Chu, let me know. Ton, if you're watching this you better fucking contact me, got it?
no subject
Besides, do I look anything like that?
no subject
[Don't mind him. He hates feds in any capacity. It's a reflex, not even one relating to his proclivities]
Hence the tone of surprise buddy.
no subject
I wouldn't have left 10 years in Philly vice for a fucking downgrade.
no subject
[First thing that popped into his head]
no subject
More like terrorists take employees hostage at a Mundo Polliza.