tushanshu | 001

[This is John Colby.

He’s one of the best agents in the F.D.A.

When John Colby took a butcher knife to the face, he received facial reconstruction surgery that left him with half a terminator face and the awesome perk of a multi-million dollar processor where his damaged brain once was.

The injuries peppering his face and the arm in the sling have nothing to do with that injury. Those came from an angry octogenarian after she discovered he was two-timing her with another man.

It wasn't pretty.]

All right everyone, listen up. Agent John Colby, F.D.A. [And with that he flashes his badge to the camera with his good arm.] I've got two questions for you: first, any of science nerds out there? I need one of you to come and look at my eye. [Yes, the creepy red one, not the normal one.] It's not working and I prefer to use two goddamn eyes. The door says "FI-1C." Knock first or I'll shoot.

Second, and this is important so listen up, where is the cheapest place I buy booze? This is not something to take in sober. And I really don't give a shit about any illegal chicken joints--if this place even has chicken--so let's not even pretend that might be an issue, 'kay? I just want to get shitfaced in peace.

[He pauses.] Actually, I got one more question, though it's more a request. If anyone here has seen my partner, an insufferable little prick named Chu, let me know. Ton, if you're watching this you better fucking contact me, got it?

Threaded | Flat

So what'd a chicken do to you?

Run over your dog? Made fun of you at show-and-tell? Or was it more sinister and stole your Snackpack?

[He could mention the booze thing, but he's pretty sure the Temperance League will get to it sooner or later.]

One eye, oh noes.

[Excuse Toph. She's being particularly dry today. Especially since this event has taken her own sight and she's ticked off about it.]

[Meanwhile have a small girl twisting in the twisty chair, leaning her cheek into one hand and giving an absolute deadpan expression that has no focus to the eyes.]

Sorry, Mr. Sunshine, but all extra abilities are down today. And yesterday. And probably tomorrow.

Edited 2013-07-02 02:18 (UTC)

The FDA.

[dead. pan.]

The Food and Drug Administration has actual agents? And your beef against chicken [heh heh, beef, chicken] aside, doesn't the USDA do meat and stuff in the first place, anyway?

[Clark slowly lists the answers one by one.]

The cheapest kind of booze is actually not cheap at all, there's rationing going on. ... There's no chicken at all either but why would it be illegal? I haven't seen anyone named Chu, sorry.

Aaaand the eye is probably not working because right now neither of anyone's extra powers aren't working, or so I've been told.

Edited 2013-07-02 16:21 (UTC)

...Since when does the FDA have agents.

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