002 | Video; anonymous location

[fdaterminator]

[Colby had logged on at net cafe to see there was some sort of tribble containment effort that he had missed. Instead he sees two stoned aliens tossing the furballs out a window.]

Oh come on!! I can't be the only person actually trying to do something about these little bastards can I? Sure they look cute but at the rate they're going to eat and breed us out of house and home in... You know what, I'm not even going to waste my breath. [His red robotic eye turns blue and it projects a simulation of what will happen to the ecosystem of Tu Vishan if the tribbles continue doing what they're doing unchecked into the air. It's quick and not pretty.]

Do I have some fucking volunteers now?

I'm F.D.A., but I also used to be U.S.D.A., so I know a thing or two about animal containment. If you're too lazy or unwilling to help at least point me in the direction of an empty warehouse and/or large refrigeration units... Hell, anything that can store or stop these assholes from breeding.

Comments

[fdaterminator]

So at least when you die when they take up so much space they suffocate you, it'll sound nice.

[mopirates_moproblems]

Precisely.

[fdaterminator]

So let me get this straight, you would rather die than hear the work "fuck"?

[mopirates_moproblems]

That was not my point at all. Your abrasive nature, however, may lead others to disregard your point.

[fdaterminator]

Look, buddy, this is just how I talk.I'm not about to change it--in the middle of a fucking crisis, mind you-- because it might make people blush. Put on your big boy pants and get over it.

[mopirates_moproblems]

I beg your pardon?

[James is not familiar with your 'big boy pants.' Thank god.]

[fdaterminator]

Which part are you hung up on?

[mopirates_moproblems]

-- I begin to believe I am better off not seeking clarification.

[fdaterminator]

...So did you just bother me to complain about my goddamn language or are you actually going to help?

[mopirates_moproblems]

I am trying to help you, though you seem resistant to it.

[fdaterminator]

I just fail to see how this is helping.

[mopirates_moproblems]

You will accomplish more, and be taken more seriously, if you do not alienate so many with your crude and abrasive attitude.

[fdaterminator]

In all my years in law enforcement, my language has never been a problem.

[mopirates_moproblems]

Forgive me if I find that difficult to believe.

[fdaterminator]

That I've never been written up or that I'm not a federal agent? [Pulls out his badge and holds it up to the camera.]

[mopirates_moproblems]

[None of that means anything to him. Not a single word of it.]

Only that your language has not been the cause of consternation before.

[...Seriously, what is that? A tiny shield? What good would that do, and who the hell uses a shield to fight, anyway, and one that size -- what is it supposed to block?]

[fdaterminator]

We're more liberal than wahtever bizarro world you escaped from.

[It's not meant to fight with, duh, it's just to show he's in charge! Shape up, buddy.]