002 | Video; anonymous location

[fdaterminator]

[Colby had logged on at net cafe to see there was some sort of tribble containment effort that he had missed. Instead he sees two stoned aliens tossing the furballs out a window.]

Oh come on!! I can't be the only person actually trying to do something about these little bastards can I? Sure they look cute but at the rate they're going to eat and breed us out of house and home in... You know what, I'm not even going to waste my breath. [His red robotic eye turns blue and it projects a simulation of what will happen to the ecosystem of Tu Vishan if the tribbles continue doing what they're doing unchecked into the air. It's quick and not pretty.]

Do I have some fucking volunteers now?

I'm F.D.A., but I also used to be U.S.D.A., so I know a thing or two about animal containment. If you're too lazy or unwilling to help at least point me in the direction of an empty warehouse and/or large refrigeration units... Hell, anything that can store or stop these assholes from breeding.

Comments

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[fdaterminator]

Are all of your "superheroes" baked?

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[cowled]

[Pensively,]

Not unless they're up against a rogue with pyrokinetic powers, usually...

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[fdaterminator]

[He hates you more than Clark right now.] Blazed, stoned, blitzed, fried...

High.

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[cowled]

Why on Earth would they be-- any of those things? I imagine it would interfere with their ability to... you know, fly. Or shoot lasers, or whatever the rest of them can do.

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[fdaterminator]

HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW!?

All I know is your fucking Super asshole was flying higher than the NASA shuttle last I talked to him!

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[cowled]

I suppose it's possible he wasn't himself when you were dealing with him... it's fairly common for people to impersonate him back home. He's quite the celebrity in Metropolis.

[FUCKING TRIBBLES THO?]

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[fdaterminator]

[Screams loudly in exasperation and hangs up. You are too much to deal with, Bruce!

He's still taking your warehouse, though.]