Tarrlok (
disfavored) wrote in
tushanshu2013-07-29 10:10 pm
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008 // Video
There was a notice a few days ago from Miss Ayala about the possibility of starting a school. I haven't worked out all of the details yet but it looks like I'll be acting as Headmaster.
If you're going to be involved in the school in any way, I'd like if we could become acquainted. If we haven't been introduced yet, my name is Tarrlok.
Thank you for your time, and I do hope that this project is a success. [Because kids need something to keep them out of trouble.]
If you're going to be involved in the school in any way, I'd like if we could become acquainted. If we haven't been introduced yet, my name is Tarrlok.
Thank you for your time, and I do hope that this project is a success. [Because kids need something to keep them out of trouble.]
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There are always ways to become useful. Your choice of venue is telling, as well.
A headmaster has power. You say now that the teachers are free to do as they please, but what happens when what they please is not what you please? They become free to do it somewhere else?
Why a school?
[Yeah, sorry, Damian's going to ignore the 'end of conversation' part.]
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Why a school? Because I liked school, and I want to see it succeed. Apparently that's strange, but it was the first place I felt accepted in, and the first time anyone saw me as someone with potential instead of just the untalented younger sibling. If you don't want to go to the school, don't, I'm sure the students who are actually excited about the possibility would appreciate it.
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[Say that isn't so, Tarrlok.]
You felt welcome by one person who did not bother to do her research. How representative is that?
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And no, not here. I meant when I was a boy. My memories of my time as a student were fond and that's more than I can say for most things. Either way, I intend to have a new start here, and being quarantined to certain jobs and watched over like I'm some sort of ticking time bomb isn't part of it. If I'm too dangerous for this job, then I'm too dangerous to exist, period, and if that's how you feel I welcome you to come and deal with it. Otherwise, I ask that you leave me be.
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Which means 'leaving you be' is not an option. I shall be there. And watching.
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If you think I hadn't spent my entire life thinking about what I may or may not be too dangerous for, then you're wrong. The only reason I'm letting myself do any of this is because the people I hurt the most were the ones who convinced me that I should try again. Watch me if you like, but if I end up being too dangerous after all, no need to worry, I'll take myself out of the equation. I've done it before.
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[His shoulders, however, slump a little.]
Not in the eyes of some, there is not.
[Lips pursed, his voice is slightly less forceful than up to now.]
But thinking about it did not stop you from making those wrong choices, did it? Perhaps you are missing something still, that makes the difference.
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I made a mistake, and I kept on making that mistake for years because I never let anyone close enough to help me. You're young, and I don't expect you to understand, I only realized it very recently myself. But that's what it is.
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[Dry. (There are things that he doesn't, but this? Oh, he understands way too well.) Also, now he has calmed down somewhat, a pattern emerges to his mind's eye, in this conversation.]
Another thing that it is - and you should think over this - is that all the reasons for your doing this? Are about you. You need the chance, you felt safest at school, you are going to fight for the position, you have skills, you made mistakes, you couldn't find anything else.
You probably think you have changed. But you might have to work harder on it.
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I may be underestimating what you can understand, but you don't know me, even if you've known people who you think are similar to me. I've paid for my wrongdoings and have made peace with those I wronged. That's all I can say.
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[Nobody listens to a child, do they.]
[And, no, Damian doesn't know 'people' who are similar. Only himself.]
Was that because you deserved that peace, or because they were people who would rather give it to you rather than wrong you back?
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Still, the person who was most affected by my actions, at least, was very insistent that I get back outside and start being part of society again even though I had resigned myself to the life of a recluse.
video // encrypted (What just happened...? *eyes them.*)
[Pause. Quietly.]
There seems to be a balance between being a recluse and living in constant temptation and risk. For others.
Consider whose interest is the most important in what you do, Tarrlok. If it is yours, then you probably have not changed as much as you wish to think.
[For a change, this is not hypocritical of Damian. The closest he gets to selfish in what he does is the insistence that he is not a meta, because that would mean he would have to give up the only family he has left. Everything else is for others. Simple as that.]
[Oh, well, maybe the assistance with the running of Wayne Enterprises in Gotham might be regarded as self interest. But he did not volunteer for that until it became clear that nobody else could manage it.]
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[It's Ava. Tarrlok, more like selfish.]
And it is not reckless that I would call you.
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Are we done here?
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[Shrug.]
Here, perhaps. While there are children in danger, done, no.
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[If this was one of the Lanterns talking, Tarrlok would be quite a bit more confrontational, but he doesn't really feel like threatening a child.]
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[If it had been only the information about his misdeeds before Keeliai, or only the attempt to politicize the foreigners without that knowledge, Damian might have let it go. The combination of the two, however, is too much for him to ignore.]
[... plus, he could totally be a Lantern. Just not a Green one.]
[But, at least, Damian might not cause trouble unless he senses something fishy in what Tarrlok does. Well, more than an anti-social eleven-year-old would normally cause.]
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Were you less focused on that, you might find yourself better listened to.
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All I'm saying is, if this society doesn't want me I'll remove myself from it. I'm not going to hurt anyone because I feel ill-treated. I'll simply keep to myself until I'm allowed to go home, as I originally intended on doing.
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I do not call you reckless. I call you selfish, and power-driven. Possibly power-hungry still. That is a bad combination to put in charge of education. Anyone's education.
If you do not learn to put a curb to those to things, then not even the best skills or good intentions or more chances will prevent disaster.
Think on that.
[Disconnect.]