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Good morning Keeliai, how are we all today?

[Steph is sitting at her console, leaning back in her chair with her legs propped up on the desk. She's smiling, and for those that know her, it's the sort of smile that should be extremely concerning. Those that don't know her may also be feeling like they're about to hear something they don't want to.

She is going to be a terrible person today.]

I'm going to preface this message by saying that anyone under the age of 16, or whatever the age of legality is where you're from, should tune out now, please and thank you. I'm not gonna be explicit or anything, but it's probably not going to be appropriate for kids. [she gives a pointed look, yes you, Damian, switch off the computer now.]

I was taking an anthropology class back home, and my professor happens to be here too. [she wrinkles her nose, like yes, I know that's super weird, how do you think I feel?] And he's been giving me assignments and stuff, because apparently being kidnapped by a giant turtle isn't a valid excuse not to keep up with coursework. The topic we'd been studying before I got brought here was human sexuality, and Professor Craig suggested I write a paper on kedan sexuality instead. [Hi Bruce.] Except, uh, after the last couple weeks, I'm not really keen on that idea.

But I have been thinking about all these people with superpowers running around, and like - we've got comics back home, right? But they tend to focus on the whole defeating supervillains and stopping alien invasions side of things, which is great, sure, I love a good action story, but there's something that just never really comes up.

[she looks directly at the camera, the very picture of scientific curiosity] Do they - or, do you, for the superpowered people in the audience - ever use their powers for sex? This isn't a rhetorical question, by the way, if you have used your powers in the bedroom, feel free to share with the class.

And in the interest of not excluding anyone from the conversation, anyone who's just a regular old human, or whathaveyou, you can discuss what sort of powers you'd like to have, and how you'd use them to impress the gender-of-your-preference.

Don't feel like you have to respond directly to me, you're more than welcome to talk amongst yourselves. I figured we could use a little lighthearted chat to take our minds off the situation. Don't you agree?

[She winks, clearly trying not to laugh, and sits back in her chair to wait for responses]

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Eh, electricity's not really my kink. [Lois shrugs a little.] That was a-- particularly bizarre time period for us. Besides, when he was solid and not in the damn containment suit he didn't actually have superpowers. It doesn't really apply.

[Biting her lip--an oddly visible hesitation for the normally self-assured reporter--she seems to be weighing her options.] I'm guessing there are conversations I'm not seeing. Are any of them with someone actually in the position I am?

[Namely, the vanilla human with years of stable, loving, incredibly healthy relationship experience with a superpowered partner.]

I liked it. [Steph shrugs, an easy, one shouldered gesture. It'd be too hard to explain why exactly she liked it, so she'll leave it with that simple comment and address Lois's question.

Which, makes her expression twist a little]

There are, your husband apparently has a lot of opinions about my private life. [her? angry? never!] But you've got a unique viewpoint right now. [So, no, no one else in the same position Lois is.]

[Lois stares for a moment, then actually facepalms. Just barely audibly:] Not my shtick, and we are talking later. [Too bad Clark stopped listening in.]

Clark's issues are another discussion, and one between him and me.

Relevant, I promise: your boy's electricity, is it a 'must control at all times or bad things happen' type, a 'must control under unrelated stress' type, or 'only need to control when consciously activated' type?

[She hopes Clark is going to get in trouble for being a jerk, but it eases some of her tension to know that Lois is going to talk to him.]

I think it's a little of B and C. [They haven't actually discussed that aspect in depth, Steph had been reluctant after hearing some of what he told her about Osborn.] It only seems to be around when he wants it to be, except under - high stress situations. [The air had felt kind of staticy, when she first approached him in his suite.] There were kind of extra factors at the time, but I'm not gonna go into them.

[Because they're Brandon's issues, not hers to share; she doubts he had eaten or slept properly for a week at the time, it's not too surprising he was having trouble keeping a handle on his powers. And then there's the fact he killed someone when his powers first activated, she's definitely not sharing that]

He's had a lot of training.

[The Osborn thing again. There are so many people from Brandon's world who she wants to kick in the teeth]

[Lois kind of suspects Steph can hold her own. But either way, she and Clark are talking, because there are pretty constant issues Clark has. Someone needs to rein him in.

She listens quietly, however, nodding slightly and almost absently at the 'extra factors.' Of course there are going to be things Steph won't discuss with her--and frankly, that's fine with Lois. Playing shrink for teens with superpowers (and Bat-training counts) is really, really not how she wants to spend her life.

She's still the only one with perspective.]

Okay, your life got easier already, trust me. Does he know about what happened to you?

He does. [It's pretty clear from her sudden awkward expression that the conversation didn't go all that great, but it can't have gone too bad considering she's still talking about him.]

I had to be a bit vague on some details; he doesn't know I come from a place with superheroes, but he... knows. And he understands why I wanted to try it anyway.

[Which is an important part, in her opinion]

[Lois is far too familiar with that expression. She's had those talks. They never go well.]

Sounds like a pretty decent kid, at least for working out this stuff.

Honestly? You're fine. It's just like non-superpowered dangerous kink. It's more difficult when you've got a guy who has to stay in control or someone dies, or gets seriously hurt at least. The paranoia can be hard to break. [She sounds vaguely impatient.]

He's a decent kid in general. [she really likes him]

That's what I figured, about the kink, I mean. But I appreciate hearing that. [She does actually mean that, it's nice to have someone actually let her explain things before jumping to conclusions]

And I don't think paranoia'll be a problem, he's confident. [a beat] Not overconfident or anything, he just knows what he's doing.

[okay admittedly he did freak out about hurting her, but that was only after she told him what'd been done to her]

[Lois smiles wryly. She's glad she can be helpful to one of Bruce's kids, especially about sex and superpowers. She didn't have anyone to talk to about Clark, after all.

...Not that she thought it through terribly much at the time.

Nor is she thinking right now, due to just being relieved she hasn't screwed this talk up. Yet.]

Good. Paranoia's infuriating. Smallville still freaks out about bruises, no matter how many times I explain that--

[Beat.]

You probably didn't want me to start that sentence, did you. [She's just guessing.]

[After this conversation, and the one with Clark, she is slightly more capable of dealing with that.

Still, she runs a hand over her face]

Not particularly, but it's probably fair play considering everything I've just told you.

I imagine it's frustrating for both of you.

[Privately, Lois thinks it may almost be good for Steph to be slightly more capable of dealing with it.

Clark's only human, after all. ...Well, sort of.]

Actually, perspective is why it's a problem you probably won't have, dangerous as electricity is.

We've talked control--I'm guessing your boy isn't invulnerable?

I'm pretty sure I could kick his ass if I had to. [She hopes she doesn't have to.

And she's pretty sure she gets where Lois is going with this, but she'll let her get to her point]

Not the same as invulnerable--I can kick Clark's ass.

[She sighs.]

Clark freaked out because it doesn't matter that he keeps getting shot with kryptonite, or magic--or died. [Her voice gets audibly strained, but she pushes past it.] If he bleeds, something's wrong.

It doesn't excuse him--I'll deal with him later--but it's why he won't get what you tell him. Not really, anyway.

[Steph quirks an eyebrow, but - no, actually, she can believe that Lois could kick Clark's ass. Fair point]

I think I understand. Do you mean like, he doesn't really get that injuries are just a part of every day life?

Not really. [She shakes her head.]

Ever hear someone say 'Everything I needed to know I learned in kindergarten?'

Once or twice. [headtilt]

[Dryly:] Think about what he'd learned by then.

[That actually gives Steph pause] You mean with his powers and stuff? When did he get those?

[She legitimately has no idea, most of her knowledge about Superman comes from... the public perception of him. And some of what Kara has talked about]

I don't know all the details, but I'm pretty sure he never had an injury not kryptonite or other battle related, and I'm pretty sure he was always... strong.

Right. [her smile is wry] It probably wouldn't help to explain to him how common bruises are in regular sex, would it?

[She's had too many Feelings, time to put her trolling hat back on]

[Except this kind of was her point. So Lois just rolls her eyes.]

If I still have trouble getting that point through his head? Don't try.

If Oracle where here I'd ask her to make an educational powerpoint or something. [Steph no]

One, PowerPoints are evil. Two, he learns best through repeated demonstration. [Troll off much?]

Wouldn't you need a third party for that? [It's on, Lois.

She's just going to pretend they're talking about someone other than Clark.]

[Sadly, they are talking about Clark--and Lois hates to lose.]

Since when did good demonstrations ever need a third party?

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