video.

[langsyne]

[Good evening chelonauts, tonight you are being treated to the fine sight of one (1) bruised and somewhat bloody Ant-Man looking far more annoyed than he has looked his entire stay on this turtle. There are scrapes and cuts all over his face and his mouth is a thin line that is barely visible until he opens it to speak.]

Heads up: if any of you guys see a rooster that looks like it's been fused with a telephone box, do me a huge favor and run, not walk, in the opposite direction if you want to wake up tomorrow with still ten fingers. [He hasn't lost any of his own yet but it's only a matter of time.] I don't think there's another one of these Frankenchickens out there but just in case.

[There's long-suffering sigh and he's about to say more when he immediately gets drowned out by the rooster rattling around in its makeshift cage and crowing its little cybernetic head off. At the rate things are going, that cage ain't gonna hold it much longer and then fingers are actually going to be lost.

Scott turns and attempts to shush the rooster several times, but since the rooster listens to him about as well as everyone else does (which is to say not at all), he finally gives up and just ignores the damn thing, pinching his nose in exasperation.]

Anyone have any extra bandages? And maybe a flamethrower? You'll get paid back in chicken patties.

Comments

[escarabajo]

How much freaky secret agent food legislation do you guys even have?!

text;

[redjay]

You guys have really invested in your poultry.
What other sort of upgrades does the rooster have?

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[asoothingvoice]

You aren't leaving those cuts untreated overnight. [Do you know even what sort of germs chickens carry, Scott?]

I'll be over there as soon as I can.

[Aand the feed cuts.]

[fdaterminator]

[Better. Poyo accepts your apology.

Puts Poyo on the table and goes to order a drink and a cake. Putting the cake in front of the cybernetic rooster, he sits down. You didn't want anything, did you Ton?] I can only imagine that his objective was the same as ours--figure out where the fuck we were. It's not like he could exactly ask anyone.

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[pandoricas]

A... what?

[Rory's seen weirder things, but that still sounds pretty weird.]

video/action;

[langsyne]

But--

[Except he's far too late because the screen is already black by the time he finishes uttering the word. Naturally, the proper response to that is to sulk for half a second (he's never really grown up) before shooting the chicken a dark glare and marching out of the room.

If he's going to put up with treatment, the rooster is going to be as far, far away as possible so as to minimize damage to unsuspecting third parties.

Thus, Bianca will find him outside his door, leaning against the wall idly while he waits.]

[langsyne]

[He's not sure he wants to know even a quarter of it.]

Does that mean you have one too? [OHGOD.] Please tell me yours isn't a murderous rooster too. Or a murderous anything.

[video]

[langsyne]

[There is a registered nurse coming EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. Maybe. Knowing him, something will go wrong again because that's how everything in his life works.]

I don't think that's really-- [Never mind, we're not going to talk about bodily functions in public or over the network sooo] Yeah, I guess I can try that.

Or I could wait for the guy that owns this thing to come pick it up and lock it in his bathroom.

[langsyne]

[Curse comedy and narrative convention.]

I guess if we all die under the evil claws of cyborg chickens one day, I'm blaming you. [But more to the point:] You haven't seen any other of these things, have you?

[skybluejeep]

I can honestly and gratefully say that I have not.

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[langsyne]

[That's a nice offer and Scott appreciates it.]

If I actually lose a finger I'll call the cavalry. [Speaking of which:] What's your name. so I don't call the entire turtle to my aid?

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[langsyne]

Got one strong enough? Because I don't.

[Not that it would be a big deal to make one but like hell is he wasting more time and resources on this thing.]

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[langsyne]

[If Colby's expecting any sort of reaction to the badge, he's sadly not going to get it. At least, not any sort of duly impressed or wowed reaction.]

Are you sure you have jurisdiction here? [Does that even matter right now?] Also he's behind bars [in Scott's bathroom] with a bail of two rolls of gauze, some antibacterial gel, and a promise to never do this again.

[langsyne]

[Why is this difference important, please explain to him this thing.]

Good choice. Very good choice. You think there's a blood bank around here where I could maybe let it lose?

[Not that he would actually do that but the thought is tempting.]

[langsyne]

I haven't looked. I also don't really want to look. [Because if there are more, he is not going to be able to handle them.] Also I've already died once so I'd really rather not do it again. Especially not in a more painful fashion.

[If only because getting blown up instantaneously kind of limits the amount of pain experienced.]

[langsyne]

[Oh good. That's a relief. Too bad he's still got other questions.]

What about cyborg other things? Like monkeys or pigs or cows?

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[langsyne]

[Apparently the turtle is the perfect place to see weird things at.]

A rooster. Made of some metal bits. And also likes to bite fingers off.

[He is so matter-of-fact about all this now.]

[skybluejeep]

Nope. No cyborg-enhanced livestock anywhere else on the giant, currently-underwater turtle.

...These are things I never thought I'd say, but now that I have my life is oddly complete.

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[pandoricas]

[Clearly that is the case.]

Did you make it angry, or something?

[He's just wondering okok.]

[video]

[witchnotwarlock]

Yeah, I saw the guy, it's his robot-- uh, cyborg chicken thing? Rooster cop? This sounds like a weird idea for a comic.

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[langsyne]

I think its default state of mind is angry. So....yes? [That sort of makes sense, right?] I'm trying to find the angry off switch right now but it's not really working.

[langsyne]

[.....Stiles, you are one weird young man.]

These are things I say on an almost-daily basis and I'm still not used to it. [Livin' the FF life.] I think my life might have been more complete without the cyborg livestock though. Literally.

[video]

[langsyne]

Rooster cop. [A beat.] That sounds like a really bad Terminator spin-off. Or a really weird comic.

[Another beat.]

You gonna write it?

[skybluejeep]

[You say that like it's a bad thing.]

Aww, c'mon, it can't be that bad, can it? I mean, I don't see any gouged flesh or missing digits or rapidly pooling blood. You should be bros with the cyborg chicken.

video; no mask

[langsyne]

I'd really like for there not to be little terrorist chickens running around in my room though.

[That picture is actually way more terrifying than it should be and will probably give him nightmares for a week. Hell, he's already living a nightmare right now.]

Got any snazzy pajamas names you'd like to recommend? None of mine really like chicken. Especially metal ones.