video; shortly after waking up this morning

[wrathfulkhan]

[Hi, everyone. Have a six-year-old with glasses that are too big for his head and utterly swimming in his clothes giving y'all the worst stink-eye you can get on a face this cute. He's too irritated to go back to Zatanna's post, so he's going with the usual Marvel-verse scapegoat: Blame Loki.]

Loki! This isn't funny! FIX THIS, or ELSE!

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[manofiron]

It better be scandalous. We're brothers-in-mischief now. There's a code. We can't let each other not be the subject of scandal.

[bacondivination]

Excellent, you're in for a treat if it comes to pass. You don't know scandal until you experience that of the gods, I assure you. Change shocks most of them in some of the most amusing ways, and then the attempted murders start so you know it's a proper party.

[manofiron]

Good thing I'm all about change. I'll try to up the outrageousness just to be safe. What's the standard attempted murder rate? I feel like we ought to try to double it.

[bacondivination]

Well, that depends. Mine or theirs?

[ Loki clearly thinks he's hilarious over here. ]

[manofiron]

We're going for maximum impact here. So, whoever's got the higher standard.

[ He should probably take this seriously, but then again, he should probably do a lot of things. Fuck the police, he does what he wants. ]

[bacondivination]

Well, my average has definitely come down of late. Dry spell, you understand.

[ He makes a face as if the words tasted bad. ]

It seems Asgardia when I'm in residence wins this round. I never have a day go by without most everyone wanting a knife in my back, and often several someones that try to follow through. You've no idea how disappointing this is.

[manofiron]

Sounds like Earth. Except we don't really go for knives anymore. Now it's bullets and bombs and anything else that can explode.

[ He shrugs, as though to say there's really nothing that can be done about it. And as far as he knows, there's not. People have been trying to kill him for years. He doubts it'll change now. ]

This ain't Kansas anymore, Dorothy. Let's see if we can't do something a little different in Oz this time around.

[bacondivination]

And there's a pop culture reference I know! Good to know you enjoy things relevant to the modern era.

But, let's be real here, I'd clearly be more Elphaba than Dorothy. The metaphor works better that way besides.

[manofiron]

Long as I'm not Toto. He's a little too hairy and yippy for me.

[ He's just going to refrain from making the obvious Tin Man reference. ]

And yeah, duh. I'm part of the modern era. Just because I make stuff that's lightyears ahead of it doesn't mean I'm from the future. Although that would be cool and awesome.

[bacondivination]

We could give the title of Toto to someone unpleasant, I think. Your alternate, perhaps. But you? You get the most obvious of the appellations, Tin Man.

[ He considers this more seriously. ] Gene shall be Scarecrow, naturally, and if I think on this any further then I would fear everyone may end up engaged in the rite of cosplay of the shipping sort. So, moving right along then!

[ Did Tony even follow half of that? Loki would be surprised if he did. ]

[manofiron]

[ Whatever distaste he might feel for being lumped in with the Tin Man is immediately nullified by Loki's designating the other Stark Toto. He grins, unabashedly pleased. ]

Wizard of Oz is an American institution. People dress up as the characters all the time. You ever hear of Winkie Con? That's the annual Wizard of Oz convention in Pacific Grove. It's like the Emerald City threw up there every time I go to Monterey.

[ His brow wrinkles. ]

Not sure I quite follow the shipping angle. I mean, who gets paired up with Nikko, the flying monkey?

[bacondivination]

[ He understands almost everything. Never will Loki doubt him again. ]

Elphaba and the Scarecrow are the sacred OTP!

[ A brief pause. ]

And no doubt Nikko is heavily shipped among its fellows, but those are the furrier denizens of the internet that do such things. Those people are strange.

[manofiron]

You know there's a furry here, right? Might want to keep the urryfay ashingbay on the down-low.

[ But he doesn't disagree. There are some things that are just bizarre, and when it's something Tony Stark thinks is weird and won't do, that's saying something. ]

So are you two engaged yet or is that still in the works? Am I invited to wedding?

[bacondivination]

You mustn't rush young love. It will come in time!

[ He doesn't even express a hint of shame in the outrageous things he's saying. ]

Preferably long after Gene has returned to his proper form. It is weird as he is now.

[manofiron]

I'd believe it. Hang in there, buddy. Hallmark tells us love will find a way. I'm sure it will here too.

[ As the theoretically older person here, Tony probably should have some shame. He doesn't. ]

[wrathfulkhan]

[OH DID YOU THINK THE GAME WAS ON PAUSE JUST BECAUSE OF SOME WEIRDNESS, LOKI?] What's the matter? Do I make you uncomfortable?

[bacondivination]

I've a preference for taller men. Sorry, precious.

[wrathfulkhan]

Noted.

Well, hopefully this will be over soon.

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[wrathfulkhan]

Scarecrow? Like hell.

Tin Man, perhaps. I've been accused of lacking empathy.

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[bacondivination]

Shut your mouth! It is the most sacred of OTPs.

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[wrathfulkhan]

What the hell is an OTP?

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[bacondivination]

One true pairing. The reason that internet scribes amass from all over the world to compose myth and legend about the romantic exploits of two people, real or fiction alike. Duh.

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[wrathfulkhan]

I already regret asking.

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[bacondivination]

It's a very big thing.

[ Since Gene obviously wasn't prepared for this conversation, he just makes it weirder. ]

Did you know I even have a fandom? They terrify me, serial killers in the making all of them that they are. I regretted googling my name immensely at first, but I don't mind being famous.

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[wrathfulkhan]

...don't they have anything better to do?

[No, Gene, we do not.]