video; shortly after waking up this morning

[wrathfulkhan]

[Hi, everyone. Have a six-year-old with glasses that are too big for his head and utterly swimming in his clothes giving y'all the worst stink-eye you can get on a face this cute. He's too irritated to go back to Zatanna's post, so he's going with the usual Marvel-verse scapegoat: Blame Loki.]

Loki! This isn't funny! FIX THIS, or ELSE!

Comments

[wrathfulkhan]

Military? I wouldn't have seen that coming. [Not like he particularly cares about Rhodes anyway. Easily his least-favorite member of Team Iron Man.] He's War Machine where I come from, too. [And maaan, do those missiles sting!

But seriously, this information about nega-Pepper is freaking him out. In this bizarro universe, what would have happened to him? Is the Mandarin a coked-out British actor? Nah, that would be silly.]

Yeah...last I checked, my Pepper wanted to work for SHIELD and have a jetpack. She even has her own armor. [Which, just before he ended up here, she was using to kick his ass unfairly impugn his character.] I would think that showing up to board meetings would be way too low-octane for her.

[manofiron]

[ His name is Trevor. Trevor Slattery. He's an actor. ]

Sorry, what?

[ It's weird enough that apparently he and Rhodey - who he didn't know as a teenager - both have suits before they're able to drink legally. But Pepper wanting to be part of SHIELD? Having a suit? Wearing a jetpack? Is he nuts? ]

Pepper. Pepper Potts has a suit. A metal, flying suit. Not a business suit?

[ And now the hilarity strikes. The Pepper he knows hates his lifestyles, hates him being Iron Man. They argue about it all the time. There's no way she would ever join it. ]

The one I know hates all that superhero stuff. She's been trying to convince me to stop wearing the suit for years.

[wrathfulkhan]

Yeah. A metal, flying, repulsor-equipped suit.

It's purple.

[Pepper. Pepper hating the superhero life? Trying to make Tony quit? Impossible. The very thought makes him scoff.]

It looks like we know two very different Peppers.

[And that's a relief. At least there's not a copy of his Pepper running around where this Stark came from. One is more than enough for every universe.]

[manofiron]

Sounds like your Pepper's a lot more fun.

[ Not that he necessarily wants her to put herself in the line of danger. Tony thinks he's better suited to that. If he dies, it's not that great of a personal loss to anyone. To science, yes, but no one will mourn his passing when he goes. That's the way he wants it. ]

Not that great in the taste department though. Purple suit? Really? Why did I make it purple?

[wrathfulkhan]

That is...definitely one way of putting it.

[Another way would be 'crazytown bananapants'. And not necessarily in a bad way.]

And I'm not really sure why. The armor's a recent development. I didn't get a chance to ask her about it before I ended up here. [He was too busy being Care Bear Stare'd through walls to ask about Tony's questionable design choices for Pepper's armor. Not like he has room to talk about fashion sense, anyway.]

[manofiron]

Well, clearly I wasn't in my right mind.

[ Or looking at a car when it came time to decide what color to paint the thing. ]

So is that the extent of the crazy alternate universe revelations or do cats run the country and fish wear pants too?

[ Likely, the answer's no. Though in his world, there is a town in Alaska that has made a cat mayor. So, it's not that much of a leap that one made it into the Oval Office. ]

[wrathfulkhan]

Yeah, somehow I don't think that aesthetic choice was yours.

[Because holy cow did Pepper wear a lot of pink. And...oh no, Stark's joke made him smile. Dammit!]

No, fish don't wear pants, unless TV somehow got even more inane than usual. And last time I checked, the President was a human.

[manofiron]

They wore suites and dresses on Fish Police. It could happen.

[ It says something about Tony's brain that he remembers enough ridiculous details from a cartoon that only aired six episodes in 1992 to reference it now. Likely, what it says isn't anything good. ]

You sure the president's human? Not some kind of shapeshifting alien? Or a magic wielding raccoon? I mean really, how would you know?

[wrathfulkhan]

Fish what.

[No really. Fish what? What. He's suddenly very glad he doesn't live in a world with Fish Police, whatever that is.

Gene shrugs.] Never bothered to check. Didn't really care.

[manofiron]

It was a TV show. Based on a comic. Ran about six episodes in the nineties.

[ It's irrelevant. He just gets hung up on stupid trivia sometimes. ]

You should always check. Never trust the government. Especially when you don't know who's running the show.

[wrathfulkhan]

...okay then.

[He shrugs.]

It's never interested me, but I'll be sure to check when I get back. [Because. He is going back, once all this is over. Then it won't really matter anyway because he'll be overthrowing the government, but, details.] Good to keep in mind, though.

[manofiron]

Didn't really interest me either. Then the government tried to fuck me. And not in the sexy way either.

Be careful who you trust. Especially if they're telling you to trust them.

[wrathfulkhan]

I don't think there is a sexy way for the government to do that.

[Trust? What a quaint idea.] Yeah, don't worry. That word's not exactly part of my vocabulary.

[manofiron]

And that's how you'll get ahead in life. Good man. Uh, who's stuck in a kid's body.