tushanshu | 001

Entry tags:

001 - video

[He needs to stop thinking that he's incapable of being surprised. By the end of the Battle of New York, Steve thought he had seen it all. Insane technology, other worlds, aliens... What else could there possibly be?

The answer, of course, is a giant turtle in a realm outside the continuity of time. He had a long chat about nearly everything with the locals that helped him earlier, but it's still crazy, and he probably wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen some of the turtle shell himself.

Yet here he is. It'll probably all sink in over time; Steve's been overloaded with so much information over the past few hours and it's exhausting, even for him.

Getting on the computer hadn't been his top priority, but he's already gone outside of his new home and back. Steve's experienced enough culture shock for today. He might as well at least reach out and introduce himself to all of the other people who wound up here like him.

Once he's got the computer up and running, he accesses the network using the video function. He looks a little stiff and probably as exhausted as he feels, but that's the least of his concerns right now.]

Hello. My name's Steve Rogers. The kedin- kedan? - brought me up to speed already, but I only just arrived here a few hours ago.

[Maybe longer than that. He hasn't exactly been keeping track of time. In any case, it's really jarring to be talking to a computer screen and not actually know who's on the other end.]

I have a couple questions that I'd like to have verified. [It doesn't necessarily mean he'll believe whatever he's told, but second opinions are typically useful.] We're all more or less stuck on this turtle, right? But there's a way back.

[That's a question as well, but it ends up sounding more like a statement. It sounds like a reasonable assumption. There obviously isn't a rush since no time is passing back home; he just wants to know.]

The other question I have is about jobs. Since it looks like I'll be here awhile, I'll start looking soon. Does anyone know which places are hiring offhand?

[He pauses for a moment before adding a 'thank you.']

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[ Oh. Oh. Hell. Bucky doesn't check his console until late, and this is what is waiting for him. And, for a moment, he doesn't know what to do. Twice. Twice, Steve has been here, and then gone. The second time after so, so little time. And who knows what's happened to his body... bodies, after. ]

[ Bucky runs his head back through his hair, pacing across the room, the message brought up and on replay. He wants to. To go there, right now. But chances are that Steve'd freak out; chances are always that. So Bucky shakes his head, and sits down. Maybe breaking it to him slowly... will be something that works out, for once? ]

There's an art supply store which might interest you, job-wise.

[This catches his attention. Obviously whoever this is, they have to know him, right? Steve only mentioned art in his conversation with Darcy, and the possibility of that being viewed doesn't occur to him.]

I'll look into that. Drawing is a hobby of mine.

[The suggestion could've just been a lucky guess, after all.]

[ Oh... oh, Steve. Bucky sighs a little, fingers flexing, unsure how to do this all over again. Would it ever get any easier? ]

I know. This place is strange. It can, for all its problems, bring together old friends.

[Steve's not slow-witted by any means. He's not even used to the idea of Bucky being gone, but he is, so it never occurs to him that his best friend could be here.

Naturally, this makes the message a little more cryptic than it actually needed to be. It has him wondering, though, especially since the people he knows are here wouldn't be considered old friends by any means. Perhaps the person is writing about something totally unrelated to him, but there is only one way he can think of to find out.]

Do you know me?

Yeah. Before anyone else who you'd meet here.

[ Any which way Steve interprets this, he'll be somewhat prepared for the reality. Though Bucky adds, after a moment, just because the man's son was the first to respond to Steve's message. ]

I'm not Stark, either.

[Steve's first thought is wondering whether this is some kind of joke. Did someone get hold of his file, or just happen to know about his past? The idea of this being a con is somehow easier than the idea of the person on the other side being Bucky.

Survivor's guilt, perhaps. Or just regular guilt because Steve knows he failed his best friend when he needed him most.]

Where are you?

Wood Sector. Suite in 1A. ... though I can get where you are easier, since I know the city. Up to you.

If you decide to show up here, it's an apartment inside a tree.

Just don't wanna... try not to give your improved heart trouble, okay?

[ He's gotta try, okay? Try to make it less of a shock. ]

[More than anything, Steve just needs to see Bucky in person. It goes against all logic- but so does this entire place- that he's actually talking to his dead best friend.

He wants to make sure this is all real. As much as he'd like to hunt Bucky down himself, he knows it would be quicker for Bucky to find him.]

You can come over here, since it'd be quicker. I haven't completely oriented myself yet.

[That's the only reason, totally. It definitely has nothing to do with needing to collect himself first.

That said though, he types out his location. It should be easy to find, if Bucky happens to know where Natasha lives.]

I'll be on my way there.

[ Disconnect, and he will. Though he does shake his head a little at the fact that Steve and Natasha are in the same building again - just different sector. ]

[ Bucky only delays to throw in some food (fast metabolism) and a bottle of kedan brandy-like alcohol in a backpack. And then he's jogging over to Earth sector. Unlike the first time he ran to Steve's suite, this time, he's only a little winded - he's definitely gotten in better shape here, at least. Much better than he was in, even during the war. Who'd have thought? ]

[ Anyway. Bucky knocks on Steve's door, then steps back, as though the extra couple of feet of distance between them will somehow make a difference, in how Steve will react. He just doesn't want his best friend upset, okay? ]

[After he ends the connection, Steve pushes back in his chair, sighing heavily. This is real, and it's really happening. He's not sure of how he exactly feels because he feels too many things at once.

Anticipation, maybe even a little excitement. Guilt. So much heavy guilt that he's carried with him from the moment he wasn't able to pull Bucky back onto the train.

Part of him isn't sure how to actually face him, or what to say to him.

Steve doesn't have time to figure that out before there's a knock on the door. Heart racing, he stands and heads over. He doesn't even realise he's holding his breath until he opens the door and lets it go.

There's not a shred of doubt about who he's looking at, of course, but he feels like he's looking at ghost.]

Bucky...

[ It probably doesn't help that Bucky hasn't been frozen in time, the duration he's spent here. One year, six months, and three days. Time that hasn't been easy on him, so he looks definitely a little older. ]

[ The moment he catches sight of Steve's face, the calm 'hey, Steve, this place is weird' just. Flies off the realm of possibilities of conversation starters. Bucky's mouth twists into a self-mocking smile that his friend knows probably way too well. ]

C'm'ere, punk.

[ He makes a half-step forward, but not more. Up to Steve whether to take the offer - if it's too much, Bucky will step back. ]

[Bucky doesn't have to wait long at all for Steve to move. As soon as he gets his legs to work, Steve closes the distance between them. He needs this hug, probably more than anything else right now. It's still weird, not only because of the apparent difference in age or the fact that last time he saw Bucky was falling out of that train--

It's the height difference. The limited time he had around Bucky after the serum doesn't counteract the years of being so much smaller. That doesn't matter too much, because it's Bucky. He's here, and in a way that makes Steve's being here a whole lot easier too. Okay, even.

Bucky's the closest thing he has to family left.]

Jerk.

[It's mumbled, and maybe his grip is a little too tight but he's not aware of that. He's too focused on the part about his best friend being here when he thought he'd never see him again.]

[ Bucky holds on just as tightly, really. His best friend being here when he thought he'd never see him again IS A THING THAT IS GOING ON IN BOTH DIRECTIONS. ]

Damn right I am. Damn right I am, Steve.

[ He's saying things just because both of them probably need to hear something, not because they make sense. Just so that Steve has his voice, too, to reassure him, not just. This. God. ]

[ He still thinks of the things Natasha described, of the underground place where she'd found the people who'd disappeared. He still knew there were two of his best friend down there, and one alternate version, as well. He still thinks this one might end up there, too. But it didn't matter, because Steve is here now, and. Things are less of a mess than they had been, an hour ago. Let alone for the last months. ]

[ He doesn't let go. But he does ask, in a little while. ]

Wanna go inside? We've gotta talk. And I've brought ya food, don't know if you've been out shopping, yet.

[It doesn't matter what Bucky says at this point; it just affirms that he's really here. Somehow really okay, at least physically. It doesn't do anything to lessen the guilt Steve has in regard to Bucky, but this is as close to closure as he's likely to get.]

Yeah, alright.

[There's a lot he needs to ask Bucky, anyway. As for food, it hadn't even occurred to him that he should've gone to get some earlier. He'd been too busy processing information and trying to find out as much as he could- and that hasn't exactly changed just yet.]

Thanks. I hadn't gotten around to that.

[He might've forgotten about food, but his body hasn't. Steve pulls away in time so hopefully his stomach pangs aren't heard. Pushing the door open more, he nods for Bucky to follow him inside.]

Make yourself at home.

[ Bucky shakes his head, but, yeah, no, he's letting Steve let go, first, and only then looks him up and down, and follows inside, only reaching up to ruffle the blond hair. By the look on Steve's face, it'll be a bit of time before he stops needing the reassurance. ]

[ Then he looks around, and heads right to the kitchen, nodding to Steve to come right along. He'll take a bit of time, there, so. They can talk with Steve leaning against a counter, right? Or something? ]

Right, so.

[ ... nope. No idea where to start, but, he'll start from somewhere as he's putting most of the food away and making a few sandwiches, the backpack emptying steadily. He waves the bottle of booze at Steve, just in case, then puts it away, too. For the moment. ]

I was fallin'. And then I woke up here. That was, for me, about a year and a half ago. Give or take a few days. So I'm kinda used to the place, and, let me tell ya, Steve. There's a lot to get used to. So if I'm going too fast, stop me, all right?

[He smoothes his hair afterwards, much like he did any other time Bucky messed his hair up. It's a natural gesture, familiar. Enough that for a very brief moment, Steve can almost forget that they're not back in New York.

Steve should probably help with everything, but he's still a little dumbstruck. Maybe if he was a little less drained, a little less guilty and overwhelmed, he might've attempted to make some sort of joke about still being older than Bucky.

But it's not funny and Steve's still just too much of a mess to know what to think or feel.

A year and a half is a long time... Yeah, he might end up needing that bottle of liquor.]

I've heard a lot about this place so far, so it might not be a problem.

[He nods anyway, though. And just in case Bucky hasn't heard anything about what happened since the train--] Schmidt died, by the way. [That's what he assumes, anyway.] I had to take his plane down over the ocean and froze. When I woke up it was 2011.

[ Bucky can't help the faint smile. It's just so. Normal. Good. Right. Steve was bringing him up to speed. ]

[ He nods, focusing on the sandwich for a moment, then filling up a glass of water and setting it up for Steve - it's been a long time since he's done this for his friend, and, heh, they never had this much back home to begin with, or not usually, at least, but it's still. Normal. ]

You got a new team. They're good people.

And, [ Bucky gives Steve a look. A warning. Here come complications. ] you've been here before, even though you don't remember.

[ Then he waits for Steve's reaction. ]

[Steve reaches for the glass to take a sip. Super soldier or not, he needed to stay hydrated as much as anyone else, and he definitely hasn't had anything to drink since he's arrived.

He nods at the first part, not surprised that Bucky knows them. After all, he's been here for ages and so have the Avengers, from the sound of things.

The second part, though. That's what gets his attention. He sets the glass down, giving Bucky a look. It's guarded, but not intentionally so. He's not the type to keep things from his best friend; he's simply trying to keep his own emotions and reactions in check.]

What happened when I was here before?

[Is this more he should feel guilty about? Probably. This means that Bucky's been here the entire time, and at some point he was too and then... some way or another, he abandoned Bucky.]

[ In case Steve is looking for reasons to feel more guilty, well, he'll probably find none, in the tired smile that Bucky gives at the question. ]

It was good, Steve. The first time, it was just. Good. Like a second chance that I never thought we'd ever get, when the stupid train side broke apart. Second chance I never thought I'd get, and you getting here was just. Better.

[ Deep breath. ]

The second time was too brief. Way too brief. And there was the you from a different - alternate, Rikki called it - reality. There's apparently many worlds, you see. Many earths. That don't always come into contact with one another, but they exist. There was even one where you and I, we never met back when we did. Didn't go to the War together, either. And there I and--

[ Bucky clears his throat, realizing he's gotten carried away by telling things. He'll give Steve time to process very shortly. ]

I and Peggy got a granddaughter. She was here for a while, too.

[ Not quite where he wanted to go right now, but - he's not going to hide things, not from Steve. So, there it is. ]

[The first part is easy to take. Second chances are good. Maybe that's what this could be for him. Maybe not clear his conscience, because he doesn't think he deserves that, but... Just more time with Bucky. Time he knows he won't have otherwise.

He's heard a bit about the other universes too. An alternate self, that knew Sharon and Namorita and the others.

But this is different. Obviously it's not his Bucky, not the Peggy from their world, but still. It feels wrong; he doesn't like it, and maybe it makes him feel jealous on some level. He knows he shouldn't. It's a different universe. It's not theirs, but how else is he supposed to react to it?

That's...

[Really weird? Something that could've happened if he never got in the Army? He doesn't know.]

Interesting. [He probably would've wanted to meet Bucky's granddaughter, if he'd been here when she was. The idea probably would've taken time to get used to, but Steve would consider any of Bucky's family his own.]

Has Peggy been here? [Steve almost doesn't want to know the answer, but he has to ask anyway.]

[ Bucky gives a wry twist of his mouth, then. Moves to settle a plate with two large sandwiches in front of Steve, and leans across the counter with something for himself, too. ]

Yeah. She showed up a little bit after the first you, like a week, and was here until a little after. [ Small wince. ] That part... wasn't a happy time for her. But, yeah. Rikki made that a bit awkward - I mean, she hadn't told me until after Peggy showed up, which was just as well. It's not like it was me she had eyes for.

[ It's all right, Steve. Peggy's yours and yours alone. It's just. Complicated. ]

[ Bucky takes a deep breath, and barges on. ]

You're not the only one who's been here before. Stark Junior, Thor, Dr. Banner, and N-- Agent Romanoff were here before, then they disappeared, and now they're here again. Barton ... hasn't returned, yet. Nor has Agent Coulson. Nor Ms. Potts.

... and there's another one of me here, too. He and you - well, my version of you - didn't go along well. I mean, the other me didn't get along well with the first you. I think he was fine with the alternate version of you.

Damn, this is all mixed up. I'd draw you a diagram... or a series of them, but. Well.

[ Bucky and drawing. ]

[Admittedly, that puts him at ease some. At the same time, it's a bit upsetting that Peggy's not here anymore. That, and he disappeared on her again too. Steve's good at that for some reason, apparently.

Those sandwiches look fantastic and remind him just how hungry he is. The information Bucky's telling isn't as bothersome for the moment, so he picks up one of the sandwiches and digs in. One bite in though, and Steve is lifting the top layer of bread to see what's in it. Not dissing Bucky's sandwich-making abilities, but it doesn't taste the way he expected.]

What happens when people disappear? Is it as abrupt as the arrival? [Or does it take dying here?]

I think I'm following you so far. Don't break yourself. [It's a playful jab, one he figures is necessary right about now.]

It's weird to think about any version of me and you not getting along.

[Which, of course, is hilarious for reasons he doesn't know yet.]

[ Bucky makes a face. ]

Sorry. That's close to turkey, but - different, yeah. Birds and fish are the usual stuff, here, and the greens are... well. Also different.

[ He rubs his forehead, though, at Steve's words. ]

I've got... Two main things that you're really not gonna like, coming. One of them's the answer to your question about people who disappear, and the other's about me. They're both bad.

Which one do I start with?

[He examines it for a moment longer before taking a couple more bites. It's better to just eat as much as he can before he loses his appetite altogether.]

Don't worry about it. It's better than orphanage food, anyway.

[Well, the slim pickings during the Depression in general make this sandwich gourmet, even if it tastes slightly off.

Steve has to weigh his options before responding. Anything about Bucky is probably going to upset him more. Better to take the potentially worst news first, right?]

Tell me about you.

True 'nuff. If we're lucky, sometimes we find things from home, when we make landfall. Sometimes, it's even food. Other than that, we've gotta get used to this.

[ Bucky nods, and rubs his hands over his face, before postponing things a little by biting into his own sandwich, and chewing for a moment. It tastes like sawdust, and he's pretty sure Steve's will, too, in a few moments. So he'll give him a few more bites, first. Or maybe one. Something like that. ]

Mind you, I didn't know this until I'd been here for months, and-- somebody thought she owed me, so she told me. And she knows first-hand, and I don't think it's easy for her, so don't be too angry at her?

But, um.

[ There goes. Bucky closes his eyes for a bit, then looks over at Steve, and his voice is steady, and low, and quiet. ]

Apparently, after I fell... somebody found the body. And they - weren't any of ours. Not German's either, but they had... something. They revived the body and brainwashed... me. And used me as a tool, for a very long time.

[ He has to swallow for this part. ]

As an assassin. And to train... others.

Like Natasha.

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