tushanshu | 003; Video

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003; Video

There's a lot of things I've learned to just accept since I've been here. A magic bottle with the personification of death inside it is something that I can live with. What really confuses is me is how my dog ended up inside it and who put him there.

[At that moment there's a bark and Hawke's notch-eared mabari pushes his way into the feed, examining the strange thing that Hawke appears to be talking to. Hawke's hand falls to Notch's head as he pats the dog's head.]

Don't get me wrong, I love having him back, but answers are always nice.

[So would knowing that his dog isn't actually possessed by whatever corruption was in the bottle.]

At least the trip was fun enough. We should plan another one soon. Maybe this time without a dragon the size of a mountain, or the swamp. I'm thinking a chateau overlooking a lake.

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Ah complacent when it comes to giving them a bit of a run for their money though? It seems we were the ones given that in the dragon incident, you know.

By now I'm well used to those in the ruling seat being unable to handle their own mess. How do you think I earned the title of Champion? If the Viscount in Kirkwall knew what he was doing I wouldn't have to be the hero all the time.

Though that's kind of a moot point with him being dead and all now.

Ah, this sounds much like our king.

[And there is a hideous grimace Enjolras cannot help but make as he utters that word.]

Besides dead, rather. I would prefer the monarchy dead.

[Now that gets a raised eyebrow. Sure he thinks those in charge are usually idiots, but if he wanted every idiot that he met dead most of Kirkwall would be gone.]

You may want to be a little more careful with your word choice given recent events. Last thing I want is to be the target of a crazed mob.

[What with the whole murder of the last emperor at the hands of a Foreigner.]

[And it's not so much the people themselves when Enjolras mentions the death of the monarchy but...well, that is a little harder to get across, he supposes.]

Perhaps so. I would not wish to give off the impression. ...The Empress began bringing us here to fight the evil before it spread to our home worlds. I can understand that reasoning, I can support it, though I did not like it. Her intentions were not so terrible at that, and she, and the Emperor, do strive to give us safety in this place. I would not wish to imply...

Well, things are simply different at home. There is illness, there is starving, there are so many deaths in the street that may be prevented if the king, if the way of life surrounding all aristocrats were ceased. If that should mean the deaths of those who do not agree, well, I am willing to make that happen, though I do not undertake it lightly. Did not.

[And there is a bit of a sheepish look as he ducks his head a little.]

Our Emperor here though, well. I can support the cause that we're a part of, at least. I do not mean to imply that...there are those circumstances where one is forced to put aside deeper ideals for greater safety, even though we do not like it very much.

I just recommend not painting everyone with the same brush. Trust me, it usually ends with a lot of shouting, followed by explosions, and lots of things on fire.

I watched it happen about twice now.

Shouting and explosions?

[There is a bit of a grin from Enjolras, and an ironic tilt of his head.]

And you are certain Kirkwall and Paris are not connected? That is the number of times I have been involved in major versions of that sort of thing myself. But no, you ARE correct. Here, I would not wish to do so. Here, I think that there are better, far more reasonable ways.

If they are then you have my pity.

[Because Kirkwall was insane on the best of days.]

Maybe I'll leave the reasonable ways to the people who know how to handle them. By the time I get involved things have already gotten a little out of control.

Your Kirkwall does sound slightly more...demonic perhaps?

[He dares not say more insane, considering Paris has had its moments. Which a part of him does miss, much as he longs for peace. There's a bustle that he misses, though.]

That sounds like plan enough, I think. I tend to prefer things remaining in control myself, so you can be the crisis management, perhaps? It seems like something you excel in.

[Hawke just starts laughing.]

You have no idea how close to the truth that really is.

[Seriously Enjolras hit it on the head with that one.]

It's all I ever seem to do these days.

[It's kind of sad how easily Enjolras managed to call that, really. And worrying. ]

I suppose not. And I am quite glad for that.

Well, something IS to be said for experience, I would think.

You really should be.

[Not a place you want to take the kids on vacation.]

True, I think it says that I'm some kind of masochist.

I suppose everyone needs some sort of hobby.

[Yeah, nothing like a scenic town of crazy mages and crazy templars for family fun!]

Yours appears to be self torture. That...is hardly new. A bit disturbing, perhaps...

[Snort.]

Yes I just get such a rush from nearly getting myself killed on a daily basis.

Some do, of course.

I dare not name the names, but I've found that it can be...nice, the risking it. The...feeling fearless, I suppose. Which probably makes very little sense.

None in the least, but there's not much I do that makes much sense anymore. There's no such thing as feeling fearless though. Anyone who says otherwise is either lying or crazy.

[There's always a certain amount of fear when Hawke gets involved in something. Maybe it's not always for himself, but it's always there at the back of his mind.]

Perhaps that was...a wrong choice of words, at that.

[Enjolras is pausing, frowning thoughtfully as he tries to consider it. He's used to selecting the words that will get attention, to creating headlines, or slogans. Precision is a part of it, but a smaller part when evoking emotion is important too.]

If not an absence of fear, entirely, then perhaps that feeling that fear is something one can conquer, perhaps. I don't explain this well, but the idea that it is within my control, that I alone choose what I do with it. It was rare that I had such exhilarating moments, or understood them properly until I had been here.

[It was not until he had experienced the worst of fears that he had found that, when it came to other things, there was a joy to be taken in doing difficult and dangerous things, in testing limits, and, even at times, in accepting the pain that came with failure, and was its due. ]

It was rare that I understood things were dangerous and knew I had faced worse before, I suppose, and that I would likely survive. There is a great deal to be said for those realizations, somehow. In Paris, I was afraid for the others, for our work, that I had not done enough to advance it, but here, it's easier to do things when there is only me at risk. I cannot be afraid for myself, somehow, if that makes any sort of sense.

[That says a great deal about Enjolras to Hawke. How many people like him were in Kirkwall when he lived there. How many people didn't have to do the things Enjolras did just because they had Hawke to rely on. Sometimes he wonders if he did them a kindness or disservice with all the aid he gave them.

Then again, maybe they never had to experience that fear simply because he was around.]

Trust me when I say it's never just you at risk. I do this kind of thing for a living. Nothing helps keep someone alive more than the fear of catching a sword to the chest.

[Hawke knows you're not helping anyone when you face danger on your own. Of course, that doesn't always mean he listens to his own advice.]

[Enjolras could never be that person who let someone else do everything somehow. The idea sits wrong with him on a fundamental level, so perhaps there have always been those, even in Kirkwall, who would have stood. But then again, perhaps they had needed that example set by Hawke, and with him here, well, one can never know.]

And you have far more experience than I, from what I hear. Death IS certainly a motivator. The idea that it is facing you and you have to work fast, to get everything done before your time is up. Deadlines to meet, and such.

But no, there were always so many who stood beside me, true. I only suppose here, there is a BIT of difference. Or it's seemed as such and I've likely been blind.

You certainly put a lot more thought into that than I do. Normally it just motivates me not to die. I hear that can be a bad thing for your health.

[And the mask comes right back up. The discussion was getting for too serious for him and he may have said more than he's comfortable with already.]

Yes, here you're friends can look much weirder.

Dying, yes. It is a bit inconvenient and bad for the health as well. If possible, I recommend avoiding it.

[Good enough for Enjolras. He is just as comfortable switching back to lighter topics. It's not often he says so much to relative strangers. And then he snorts at the last bit.]

Also larger and with far more abilities to make things explode.

That's what I thought. I already engage in enough unhealthy activities.

[Hawke barks out a laugh and shakes his head. When he looks back at Enjolras he quirks an eyebrow at the man.]

Now I wouldn't say that. My friends were talented to say the least.

Explosions then? Oh INTERESTING.

And probably better if you meet these friends here ever that they stay away from Iskierka, I should think. Just in case.

Really? She and I get along just fine. I think she'd fit in fairly well with them, besides the whole dragon thing.

Oh, I did not mean THAT. I adore her, actually, so much as I am able to adore someone, but the potential for explosiveness seems...high from what you've said. I cannot imagine the combination being less than destructive, even if it does sound engaging.

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