tushanshu | Video the First, In Which a Wizard Seeks Companions

[Now, what in the fresh hell is this? A new guy, more cheerful than appropriate? Maybe.

Wally speaks with the most affected accent: that of a teenager running a D&D campaign, feigning the voice of a wizard.

That's exactly what he's doing. He's trying to look more professional and wizardly than he really is.]

Good morning, my friends! This lovely day, I awoke to the sun reflecting off the shell of our gracious host, the great swimming turtle -

Which - ah. May or may not be dead. And it wasn't actually the shell, it was a building with particularly reflective windows. But you get the point: lovely, lovely day.

Who has plans today? I have a strong desire - a hankering, if you will - for adventure, and am in search of a party for just such a campaign. I seem to have missed all the excitement with the Chihuahuas - terribly disappointing, I love those little ratty beasts - but I'm sure something else will come along. Now, I find it best if my parties consist of one thief, one swordsman, one bard, and possibly a Paladin or a Monk of some sort. You know. Religious types to keep an eye on our immortal souls and summon the powers of the Otherworld for their righteous cause.

We also need a quest.

I do love questing.

[He has literally never been on a quest.]

I think I'll hold auditions. Please submit your name and work experience to Wallace Sheldon Everett, Wizard, by noon. I'd like to get a much earlier start than that, but I also understand people have other obligations.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...wrong person to ask. By all definitions of the word.]

[She shifted awkwardly for a moment, allowing herself time to think. This was her fault, after all; she had responded, even though it had been more out of a mixture of curiosity and confusion than anything else.]

I...well, I've never set up one before myself. But I've been to ones others have.

And I've never had to audition to get in. People just invited me.

Ah, but you must have some of the most desirable qualities a woman can offer, if you've been invited to join a party, but have never been required to audition!

I've been to several auditions, to tell the truth; there are so many wizards out there, and a party only needs one or two at best. I'm positively envious!

I don't know about joining the party. I was just there.

[aka a wallflower.]

Also, I was only twelve at the time.

Twelve is rather young to go questing - even if you're just along as a spectator. You must have been well-protected at the time.

[This conversation was getting more and more confusing the more he spoke. To the point where she was (finally) starting to suspect they weren't talking about the same thing.]

I don't know anything about questing, but the parties I went to weren't dangerous at all. They were just...parties.

[He laughs jovially; clearly she's the one who's confused here.]

No, no. You don't go to a party; you join a party. A group of eager, hardy adventurers on a noble quest for glory and riches!

[...clearly.]

I'm starting to think we're talking about two different things here.

You're making even less sense the more you keep going.

I'm not sure how I can better explain what it is I want to do.

Let me see here.

I want a group of people - a party, if you will - to go forth in search of trouble, and to put an end to that trouble.

[That definitely didn't sound like any party she would want to go to.]

We have enough trouble going on here. Why would you want to go looking for more? Won't that just make things worse?

Looking for trouble is different from causing trouble; it's rooting out the vestiges of trouble and eliminating it so it doesn't have time to strengthen and surprise us all.

It's important to go looking for trouble sometimes.

[Being a teenager, Midii gave him the flattest look she could muster at that.]

I'd really rather not.

I've had enough trouble before I turned twelve to last me a lifetime. Maybe longer.

[He remembers that look. A lot of girls gave him that look in school.]

Well - yes. That's understandable. I...certainly can see why you wouldn't want to join us.

If you change your mind, then.

I won't.

Video the First, In Which a Wizard Seeks Companions

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