Video the First, In Which a Wizard Seeks Companions

[hexualdysfunction]

[Now, what in the fresh hell is this? A new guy, more cheerful than appropriate? Maybe.

Wally speaks with the most affected accent: that of a teenager running a D&D campaign, feigning the voice of a wizard.

That's exactly what he's doing. He's trying to look more professional and wizardly than he really is.]

Good morning, my friends! This lovely day, I awoke to the sun reflecting off the shell of our gracious host, the great swimming turtle -

Which - ah. May or may not be dead. And it wasn't actually the shell, it was a building with particularly reflective windows. But you get the point: lovely, lovely day.

Who has plans today? I have a strong desire - a hankering, if you will - for adventure, and am in search of a party for just such a campaign. I seem to have missed all the excitement with the Chihuahuas - terribly disappointing, I love those little ratty beasts - but I'm sure something else will come along. Now, I find it best if my parties consist of one thief, one swordsman, one bard, and possibly a Paladin or a Monk of some sort. You know. Religious types to keep an eye on our immortal souls and summon the powers of the Otherworld for their righteous cause.

We also need a quest.

I do love questing.

[He has literally never been on a quest.]

I think I'll hold auditions. Please submit your name and work experience to Wallace Sheldon Everett, Wizard, by noon. I'd like to get a much earlier start than that, but I also understand people have other obligations.

Comments

[redlightgreenlight]

Well, [She shrugs] You did say otherworldly powers.

[hexualdysfunction]

What sort of otherworldly power is that? And what kind of dog?

I want you to know, I'm highly allergic to being bitten.

[redlightgreenlight]

[She raised a brow, keeping the slyness from her face as she deliberately ignored the second question.]

Shapeshifting of course.

[technically not a lie, besides, it wasn't as if she was a werewolf.]

Don't worry, I've only bitten an ally once...twice. But the first time was mostly in self defense, [Except for the fact she had started that fight, but minor details.] and the second time I was possessed.

[hexualdysfunction]

I see.

[This woman is growing increasingly terrifying.]

Possessed by what, may I ask, and are you still hosting this particular...possessor?

[redlightgreenlight]

[She is terrifying, but also gorgeous. She frowned, managing to look hurt.]

Wally...do you think I'm flirting with you because I'm possessed?

[hexualdysfunction]

I'm -

[Wait.]

Wait. You're flirting with me?

[Clearly, possession doesn't matter if he's getting attention from a pretty lady.]

[redlightgreenlight]

[She laughs. It's a lovely sound and quite genuine, then the screen goes black as she logs off]

[hexualdysfunction]

No! No, not again!

[...One has to wonder how often it happens that a woman laughs at him and walks away.]