Text.

[of_deduction]

Now that I'm much better acquainted with this place I will be opening my own consulting detective business. The basis of my operation is this:

1. If you have an interesting problem that you cannot solve on your own then you may feel free to contact me and we'll discuss its potential.
2. Tell me in every detail possible about your problem. Leaving nothing out.
3. From the details you provide I will offer a deduction or decide if further investigation is necessary.

If you have an interest in consulting me then there are a few things to keep in mind.

1. I will charge all my clients the same amount. More money is not an incentive.
2. If you cannot afford the designated charge I am open to negotiating the price.
3. I won't waste my time on adultery cases.
4. I will not accept anonymous clients.

On that that note, with my work it is likely I'll be far too busy to keep up the apartment and all the shopping. If you would like a job as a house keeper you may apply below, however there are a few key traits I'm looking for in any potentials.

1. Must be able to follow orders.
2. Able to make tea and coffee
3. Willing to do the necessary shopping
4. A strong stomach, not at all squeamish
5. No sort of history involving the abuse (of any kind) of children.

-Sherlock Holmes

[ This time, he's signed it with his full name just to the gauge the reaction to it. ]

Comments

[peridiot]

What's a housekeeper? Ooh, do they control property? I'd be good at that!

[Nobody play Monopoly with Peridot.]

[of_deduction]

Not quite, A housekeeper is someone employed to manage a household. They clean, and cook, and do the grocery shopping for the household they're employed by. I'm sure they have other functions too, but those are all that matter.
SH

[ At least all that matter to him. ]

[peridiot]

So...managing a household means I'm controlling it.

Yes. I will be your housekeeper. Peridots are excellent at following orders.

[of_deduction]

Managing it through employment. There is a small boy currently living in the apartment with me, you will answer to him as well.
SH

[peridiot]

Is his name Steven?

[Weird question, but she's wary because of the Steven.]

[of_deduction]

No, his name is Conan.
SH

[peridiot]

...all right.

But if he's an annoying Earth boy, I will express my displeasure.

[spoilsfun]

Were your parents fans of Doyle?

[of_deduction]

Not particularly, why?
SH

[spoilsfun]

Your name.

[of_deduction]

And what does my name have to do with that?
SH

[spoilsfun]

When someone has the exact same name as a famous literary character, it is usually likely they were named after it.

[of_deduction]

Literary character? I'm afraid I don't recall sharing a name with any such thing.
SH

text

[unetrustworthy]

May I ask what the words 'consulting', 'deduction', 'incentive' and 'adultery' mean?

[He wouldn't be able to see due to lack of video, but the teen girl had a small notebook sitting beside her console with those words recently added to a long list of others.]

text

[of_deduction]

Consult - refer for information to in order to ascertain something.
Deduction - the inference of particular instances by reference to a general law or principle.
Incentive - a thing that motivates or encourages one to do something.
Adultery - voluntary intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse.
SH

text

[unetrustworthy]

[A slight delay as she hand wrote everything in her notes, then frowned as it brought about one more question:]

"Ascertain"?

[Any other words she didn't recognize, she could figure out by context.]

Re: text

[of_deduction]

To find something out for certain.
SH

text

[unetrustworthy]

[Ah! Those words, she all knew.]

Thank you. That is a big help.

I try to study as much English as I can, but people do not text often, so I have many words I still do not know.

Re: text

[of_deduction]

It's always good to learn a new language.

I've always preferred texting so you'll see if from me most often.

[justno]

You looking to hire an assistant?

[of_deduction]

It wasn't on my list but people tend to find me difficult to work with.
SH

[justno]

Why is that?

[of_deduction]

Because I don't tolerate incompetence.
SH

[justno]

That's most people. No wonder they don't like you.
Hire me and I'll help you relate.

[of_deduction]

[ Well, he's not wrong. ]

Is there a particular reason you'd like me to hire you on as my assistant?
SH