tushanshu | Verse 04 -- Video

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Verse 04 -- Video

[Compared to Jehan's last post a week or so ago, he looks much better. He's slept, he's eaten, and he's up for trying to interact with people again. He smiles a bit shyly when the feed clicks on, blushing as he usually is]

I wanted to apologize if my...behavior last month upset anyone. I was not feeling well and wasn't thinking clearly. I hope that anyone I upset or worried can forgive me. Ah...and I wanted to thank everyone who offered assistance. I am--it was greatly appreciated.

[Understatement of the centuries. This is followed by some private messages, all of which are absurdly easy to crack. The guy's from 1832. He's just happy he can make the private.]

[Original Amis sans Marius]

[The smile's gone, and Jehan is serious]

I wanted to...to remind everyone that should you feel as I did last month I am here to listen or talk or simply keep you company. I know what happens when you shut yourself away, now. I do not want that to happen to any of you.

[Dorian Gray]

[Shyly:]

Is it too late to accept your offer of that flute, Dorian?

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[For someone to have been involved with what Jehan was... Reid rubs at his temple a little bit.]

Do you know what 'psychology' is?

I'm afraid I do not.

It quite literally means 'study of the soul'. It's a form of cognitive science that...

[How to explain it. He trails off, tapping his fingers against his desk.]

Explains certain behaviors as relative to particular internal or external stimuli. Um-- trauma, for instance, tends to make people feel disconnected from others or unable to trust them. It can strip away the perception of safety and foster a sense of isolation and helpless or hopelessness that can seem to eclipse nearly every other factor in their life.

It...

[... this is harder to talk about than he'd expected it to be, and after a moment he wets his lips.]

Actually, if you're interested I'd rather have this conversation in person. I'm not a big fan of-- [handwave] technology.

O-of course. What you have to say sounds...very informative.

[And helpful. Jehan wants to hear the rest]

Shall I join you or will you be coming to my apartment?

[... He leans back in his chair and glances around his suite. By the look on his face it's the first time he's done it with the thought of entertaining company in mind.

His space isn't exactly messy. No, it's fantastically well-organized. But 'cluttered' is putting it mildly.]

Your place would probably be easier on both of us. Or we could meet at one of the coffee shops?

I do not think a café is the best location for a discussion such as this. I'll prepare tea for you.

Thanks.

Would you like me to bring anything?

Edited (I am an idiot ahaha) 2013-04-06 18:19 (UTC)

Not unless there is something you want to bring. You are offering to explain...this to me. That is more than I could ask for.

I'll be over soon, then.

[And true to his word, he is. For politeness' sake, he knocks.]

[Jehan hurries to get the door]

Come in, please. The--the tea isn't quite ready yet, I'm afraid, but...

[Reid smiles a little, reflexively, and shrugs out of his jacket as he comes into the suite. Honesty, now that he's here? He's not certain what he's doing. He likes Jehan, of course, and educating people on psychology has never been a particular hardship for him, but he's not certain if he's even qualified for this. So he stands awkwardly with his jacket folded over one arm.]

It's fine, I'm pretty patient. Mind if I ask what kind of tea?

Just black. Please, take a seat.

[Jehan gestures to his kitchen table.]

Are you hungry...? Or would you rather just...talk?

[Okay so sitting is a thing. He drapes his jacket over the back of a chair and takes a seat, disturbing the actual placement of the chair as little as possible to do so.]

I'm actually not hungry, but if you wanted to eat it might not be a bad idea.

I am fine.

[He joins Reid at the table]

...you were telling me about psychology?

[A nod.]

PTSD specifically. It's a stress response that happens when a person's ability to cope with traumatic circumstances is overwhelmed by the enormity of what they've endured or witnessed. It's a sort of anxiety disorder that causes a person to relive - either by nightmares or flashbacks - the specific moments of their trauma, but having it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you or that you're lesser somehow. Do you understand?

I...yes, a bit. To have died and then witness all I have witnessed since...I should be more worried if I wasn't affected?

Not necessarily. Everyone handles trauma differently. There is no 'right' way to handle it.

[He should know.]

[Jehan nods]

I understand. But this...this is normal?

[He's silent for a moment, and then he gets up and heads into the kitchen for the tea.]

When I was about your age [says the thirty year old] I-- um. I was... [he takes a breath. releases it.] tortured. By a suspect we were investigating for a number of crimes. It was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. I had all those same symptoms I described to you. It was absolutely normal. And I had help-- my team, my friends. It never goes away, but it gets... easier to deal with, over time.

[Well, Jehan is almost twenty-five and five years can mean a lot.

He gasps as Spencer's story, stunned]

I am sorry that happened to you, though I am glad you survived it.

[He bites his lip]

...I should not have kept it hidden from everyone.

I'm glad, too.

[And he is. Even though he crosses an arm across his body and his fingers catch on the sleeve at the crook of his arm.]

It does help, though. To talk about things. Without-- being afraid or ashamed. And it helps when you have friends that will listen, who won't judge you for what you feel. Sometimes people don't understand how to help other people through trauma, especially if they're busy dealing with their own, and-- they can come off as callous or uncaring when that couldn't be farther from the truth.

You speak from experience?

Yeah.

[He comes back to the table with his tea-cup, stirring it a little with a spoon he'd found in the drawer.]

Yeah, I do.

[Normally Jehan would have kicked himself for not getting the tea for Spencer, but perhaps the distraction was needed]

I am sorry. And this was--several years ago?

[Five years, a hundred and fourteen days, nine hours, forty-nine minutes and--]

Five years, yes.

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