tushanshu | 001

001 | Video

[ So, Roy hasn't been around that long, but he's gotten to know Keeliai, the natives, heard about the Emperor and definitely picked up on the tension between foreigners and the Kedan, but just out right asking about What The Hell Is Wrong With This Place seems a little too obvious. And lame.

And this way is much more fun. ]

Okay so is there a part of living on the back of a giant magic turtle that isn't supposed to be completely awesome? Because a lot of you seem to be really bummed about it, and I'm starting to think it's more than just a strong case of Stick Up The Ass going around.

[ And frankly, Roy likes looking like the idiot. He raises up a hand holding some kind of Kedanian smoothie in the cafe he's seated in, and gives an 'okay, humor me' kind of gesture. ]

Let's pretend for two seconds that you're all actually the most boring people ever and the part where we're on a monster turtle isn't enough for you - you're getting what's practically a free vacation. A beautiful city on a tropical island that's really more like a cruise, and even a space you can go sit near Yurtle's massive head and zen your neurotic brains out. The closest we have to that at home is legalizing pot.

I know I'm inviting a sea of sarcastic quips to kill my buzz about the whole badass Suessical adventure, so let's try to be organized and civil about this - there's only so much scathing sardonicism I can handle at once. Please fill out the attached form and get back to me:

Your Name: Self explanatory.
Your Age: It'd probably explain some things, I'm jussayin.
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: On a scale of Fantasia to Bambi. Just trying to keep some perspective.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: Let it all out, brothers and sisters. Testify.
Notes: Whatever. How's my hair?

Thank you for your participation! Here is a wavier for your free snow cone! Not really. Sorry.

[ Oh wait, just this last piece here: ] Also, if you know anyone who likes to run around in tights and a mask, maybe a cape, let me know? Thanks! [ A little salute, and he signs out. ]

[[ ooc; If you could, please fill out his permissions post ova hurr, and here's the html for his little questionnaire thing :>

]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is there something special about giant turtles? I'd never seen one before I came here.

[Attached: Your Name: Kara
Your Age: ??
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: Krypton
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: ???
Notes: ??? ]

Aside from the fact they're the size of Rhode Island with a colony living on top? Mh, nope, not really.

[ And WOW, Krypton, awesome. 'Kara' is ringing a bell, but he hasn't really had too much contact with the Superpeople. ] Krypton, huh? I'm guessing you're pretty tight with Superman, then?

I had never seen a turtle before I came here. [ So this turtle is pretty much her idea of what a turtle looks like. ]

You were asking where I was from, weren't you? [ She can't actually read much English yet. ] The person you call Superman is my cousin.

Oh. Uh. [ That's... okay. There's some vague hand gestures here trying to show how big a tortoise is ] They're usually about this large at most. Like, ottoman size? Like ottoman in a rich person's house sized?

Yeah, I was. Sorry, I just wasn't really aware there was more than, uh. Him. [ 8| That awkward moment when you don't want to say 'I thought he was that only survivor'. ] Not that I really know a lot about the guy. We're not really pals.

[ She smiles, restraining a laugh. ] I've never heard of that either, but I think I've got the basic idea, thanks.

He was on Earth a great deal longer than I was, it seems. I'm still not really sure why.

[ There's an awkward kind of half laugh and he shrugs. ] So guessing you're not really from coastal Earth, are you? There wouldn't happen to be an aquarium on this turtle, would there?

Ah. [ A nod, like he gets it, but he totally doesn't. ] Did you take the scenic route around the galaxy?

If there is, I haven't seen it.

I don't really know what happened. [ She's told the story enough times that the curiosity is more idle than pressing now. She really is coming to terms with things, slowly but surely. ] The last thing I remember is babysitting my baby cousin back on Krypton. Then I woke up on Earth, and it was snowing. I was only there for two weeks.

If I find one, I'll show you.

[ He nods, frowning. ] I'm sorry to hear that. I've got no idea what Krypton was like, but Earth's gotta be a pretty crappy substitute.

[ She gives him a sort of apologetic look. It really is a crappy substitute. ]

It's really an amazing planet. But everything is so different than it was on Krypton.

And it didn't help that people kept attacking me for no reason.

Nothing quite like home, huh? [ Spoken with a bit of sorrow. He misses the reservation, and he misses Seattle. But that was another time, and Seattle isn't a place he feels welcome anymore. ]

What, why? I know not everyone feels great about aliens, but you don't really stick out as one.

Nothing like home. [ She hasn't heard that expression, but she likes the sound of it. She'll have to remember it for later. ]

I don't know. I don't speak the language, nobody could tell me why they were attacking me.

The good thing is, home is where the heart is, so having people you care about can make a strange place feel like it. You've got your cousin there, right? [ Having Jason and Kori and their island has made the ship there seem like some place warm, some place comforting. ]

Maybe you just landed in the seriously wrong part of town?

I do. You know, he was only a year old when I last saw him. Now he's... married. [ That was honestly the hardest part to swallow, once she accepted that he wasn't lying about being her cousin. ]

I landed in snow. It didn't look like there was anyone nearby.

That dude's married? Man, no one tells me anything. That's a hell of a thing to come back to.

Was it winter?

That's what I said. [ She chuckles, then shakes her head. ]

I don't know. Isn't it always winter somewhere?

[ A laugh and a smile and he nods. ] Like starting a soap opera two seasons in, right?

That... is true. So really, you could have been anywhere. Aside for, like, the Florida Keys.

A... soap opera? [ Sounds... clean. ]

Um, I know that at some point I ran into a huge wall with people on it.

Uhm, like a really overly dramatic television show. [ A pause. ] Do you know what television is?

Maybe China? Did the wall seem particularly, uh, Great?

Yes, we had television. Why do they call it that? A Soap Opera? [ She imagines there isn't any soap involved. ]

I guess I would call it great. Are there a lot of giant walls on Earth?

You know, I have no idea. Opera, because I don't know what's going on unless I read a synopsis in the TV Guide, and soap because... everyone's really shiny?

Really just one that has the name. The Great Wall of China. They're not that original about it.

[ That earns him a laugh. ] Of course. Why didn't I think of that?

[ She shakes her head in amusement. ] I guess that must have been it, then.

[ A toothy grin ] I've got a talent for these things. Well, actually, it's kind of hit and miss.

Damn, you landed right in one of the biggest tourist spots on Earth. Too bad you didn't get to go on the tour.

My pod didn't really land there, I just ended up there. [ Crashed through it actually. Fighting Superman. ]

[ 8| awk. ] Did you ever make it to Metropolis, or just hung out in China with the pandas?

Because the latter would not have been a bad choice.

[ No kidding. ]

Metropolis... that's where Superman lives, isn't it? No, I never got there, but I did spend a bit of time in New York City.

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