001 | Video

[stagethreeclinger]

[ So, Roy hasn't been around that long, but he's gotten to know Keeliai, the natives, heard about the Emperor and definitely picked up on the tension between foreigners and the Kedan, but just out right asking about What The Hell Is Wrong With This Place seems a little too obvious. And lame.

And this way is much more fun. ]

Okay so is there a part of living on the back of a giant magic turtle that isn't supposed to be completely awesome? Because a lot of you seem to be really bummed about it, and I'm starting to think it's more than just a strong case of Stick Up The Ass going around.

[ And frankly, Roy likes looking like the idiot. He raises up a hand holding some kind of Kedanian smoothie in the cafe he's seated in, and gives an 'okay, humor me' kind of gesture. ]

Let's pretend for two seconds that you're all actually the most boring people ever and the part where we're on a monster turtle isn't enough for you - you're getting what's practically a free vacation. A beautiful city on a tropical island that's really more like a cruise, and even a space you can go sit near Yurtle's massive head and zen your neurotic brains out. The closest we have to that at home is legalizing pot.

I know I'm inviting a sea of sarcastic quips to kill my buzz about the whole badass Suessical adventure, so let's try to be organized and civil about this - there's only so much scathing sardonicism I can handle at once. Please fill out the attached form and get back to me:

Your Name: Self explanatory.
Your Age: It'd probably explain some things, I'm jussayin.
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: On a scale of Fantasia to Bambi. Just trying to keep some perspective.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: Let it all out, brothers and sisters. Testify.
Notes: Whatever. How's my hair?

Thank you for your participation! Here is a wavier for your free snow cone! Not really. Sorry.

[ Oh wait, just this last piece here: ] Also, if you know anyone who likes to run around in tights and a mask, maybe a cape, let me know? Thanks! [ A little salute, and he signs out. ]

[[ ooc; If you could, please fill out his permissions post ova hurr, and here's the html for his little questionnaire thing :>

<font face=courier><b>Your Name:</b></font> <font face=courier><b>Your Age:</b></font> <font face=courier><b>Level of Suck of Your Homeworld:</b></font> <font face=courier><b>Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure:</b></font> <font face=courier><b>Notes:</b></font> ]]

Comments

video; and attached text that's mostly spelled right

[animalhats]

Your Name: princess powerful
Your Age: 12
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: 50 bajillion exsept when we get to kick evil butt
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: not enouph food and the people who live here are jerks and bullies
Notes: whats this part for?

Hi! I had a cape and a mask but Alex and Chase said it looked silly and nobody would take us seriously, so I don't wear them anymore.

Also, you shouldn't promise free sno cones if you can't give us free sno cones, that's just mean.

video; fdjsa beautiful

[stagethreeclinger]

[ Blinking for a short second with an eyebrow raised ]

I can't tell if this is a joke or not. So is that like, first name Princess, last name Powerful? Also, yeaaah, noticed the jerk part. Is there a reason for that or just kind of a cultural thing?

[ A short laugh and he smiles, friendly. She looks the 12 part, but a hero at that age? Well, it makes sense if you think about Damian Wayne. ] I'd agree on the cape, but I dunno, masks are pretty rad. Not that they really do much for concealing identity, but whatever.

I said sorry?

video + text attachment;

[fatedchaos]

You probably haven't noticed because arriving here takes a lot out of you, but everything is sort of dying slowly on Tu Vishan, and most of us aren't eating very well.

Your Name: Vanessa Cleveland
Your Age: 17
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: It should be fine now.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: Decay, rations, clones, increased hostilities, no way of returning home, no real answers
Notes: n/a

video

[stagethreeclinger]

Really? I thought that was more of a design choice. Like bare brick and logs in cabins? To give it character and charm? ...Starvation kind of negates the charming part, though.

[ a bit of an eyebrow quirk, and he takes note of the complains part, but mostly just catalogs it. ] What's the 'fine now' part mean?

text

[backwordscompatible]

[Funny story: Zatanna knows of Speedy...and she may or may not have heard a few stories about Red Arrow from the others...but she's never actually met this elusive Roy Harper. So it's less the person and more the pop quiz that catches her interest enough that she basically equates her initial reaction as: eh, why not?]


Your Name: Zatanna
Your Age: 14
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: It keeps looking better and better every day.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: Nothing I'd be willing to type out where children could potentially see this.
Notes: If you want to know what your hair looks like, just go look in a mirror.

Also, keep your snow cone. I've got my own personal supplier.

text

[stagethreeclinger]

[ welp, he has the most of his costume on minus his mask, and there should be red arrows and a red bow over a shoulder, so that might help? ]

Not to, I don't know, invite teenage wrath, but doesn't 14 still sort of count for 'child'? Or 'minor' at least? And you can never trust your own opinion on your hair.

What, seriously? Hook me up with your dealer.

text; 65% encrypted

[imaginate]

[so the thing about Kyle is he's stopped paying attention to the new arrivals. Other people have more patience for this. But what the hell, he's still cooped up in the clinic recovering from his fight with Guy, and just so happens across this post.

It's not the voice or the attitude that hits him as much as the red uniform, red hair, and the bow.

Aw hell.

He knows better than to be hopeful. At least where people he knows are concerned. Alternate universes, time travel, and then just the awkwardness of having to resolve that. Still. If it is Roy, he owes a friend a hand. Kyle sighs, and types:]

try a power ring and a damn cool uniform

[If it's not Hal and him, it'll be Hal, and that's a start, at least.]

text; 65% encrypted

[stagethreeclinger]

[ Oh, that... pings something. 'Power rings' could mean a lot of things, but between an encrypted message and the context of 'mask, cape and tights', the obvious thought comes first: Green Lantern.

But there are a lot of colors of Lanterns and they're not all that cuddly. And there's also the part where he doesn't need to be babbling left and right about superheroes. So, here's Roy attempting caution. Attempting it badly. ]

I know people who'd call a ring pop and a snuggie 'a power ring and a damn cool uniform'.

But I also know space crusaders, so. What color ring are we talking? [ Roy is super good at this not being conspicuous in trying not to drop the Superhero bomb thing. ]

Video;

[notdreaming]

Is there something special about giant turtles? I'd never seen one before I came here.

[Attached: Your Name: Kara
Your Age: ??
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: Krypton
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: ???
Notes: ??? ]

Video;

[stagethreeclinger]

Aside from the fact they're the size of Rhode Island with a colony living on top? Mh, nope, not really.

[ And WOW, Krypton, awesome. 'Kara' is ringing a bell, but he hasn't really had too much contact with the Superpeople. ] Krypton, huh? I'm guessing you're pretty tight with Superman, then?

video;

[traumatizing]

There's a few heroes around. Are you looking for anyone specifically, or are you just trying to sniff out their clubhouse?

[pointedly not filling out anything. he's just too counterculture for your surveys]

video;

[stagethreeclinger]

[ wow rude, be more hipster ]

They won't let me in their clubhouse either way, but I like saying hi. Dropping off a greeting card. You know 'Thanks for not inviting me, dicks, also red looks stupid on you'?

[Text]

[mrsarcastic003]

Your Name: Red Robin
Your Age: Guess.
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: Not Disney Compliant.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: It's a Magical Turtle Adventure. Who's complaining?
Notes: Why, are tights your thing? Not judging.

[Text] encryption 90%

[stagethreeclinger]

Hey there, Bat Junior. Long time no kidnap.

Nah, man, I have legit pants - I traded up after jumping the Robin Hood ship. I thought tights were a Batcreeper School For Combat Ready Teens requirement?

video; 80% encryption

[bowarmed]

[He's hopeful. You can tell by the way he frowns enough to cast a shadow but not enough to be an act of worry, the way his eyes looks for signs and gathers clues as quickly as possible; then he speaks and he's pass hopeful and straight to expecting.]

Roy Harper?

video; 80% encryption

[stagethreeclinger]

[ There's a pause and Roy blinks for a moment. He... wasn't expecting to just get called out like that, given that he's not exactly the most recognizable anti-hero ever. But it is what it is. ]

Uh, present? Is this a friend of a friend thing?

[iwillnotlookback]

Your Name: Daenerys Targaryen
Your Age: Six-and-ten
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: Your meaning escapes me, I'm afraid.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: The entire circumstance.
Notes: Very comely.

[stagethreeclinger]

[ So six-and-ten is a little weird, but whatever, he knows people who talk weird. ]

Wow, how do you pronounce that? And for question #3, I meant 'how unfun is the world that you come from' basically.

Why thank you very much. I'm sure yours looks great too.

[virginprice]

[Hey, this text is simple enough he has no trouble reading it at all.]

Your Name: Alcuin nó Delaunay
Your Age: Twenty
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: I am not at all certain that I understand this question. What would my homeworld suck on?
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: I would like to move on, but other than that I have little complaint with it. The rations and hostilities are hardly enjoyable, but I find the friendships I have made here rewarding.
Notes: Not everyone may respond- only those who speak English.

[Alcuin switches to video, because text will get annoying to deal with; translating is too much work right now.]

I am not certain what a snow cone is. Is it something I should want?

[stagethreeclinger]

[ Oh, he already got this question once :O The language thing is new, though. ] Oh, oops. Sorry, though, all I know is English and Navajo and how to as where the bathroom is in Spanish.

Re: Question #3 - It's basically "How unfun is the world you come from'.

And yes, snow cones are delicious. You want one. You want a grape one.

[dracobin]

Your Name: Temeraire
Your Age: Three
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: I am not certain I understand the Question?
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: It is very unjust that the Emperor should have brought us here without first asking Permission, and treating us as if we are Prisoners at worst, and Inconveniences at best, when she clearly intends for us to be here to serve some Purpose; and it is furthermore unjust that the Kedan perceive us a Threat, when we have done nothing to deserve their Ire, and have as of late been attacking my Friends and Associates in the Streets for no apparent Reason.

I do not suppose the current system of Rationing in place can be blamed upon the Emperor, but I find it very troublesome regardless.

Notes: I do not think I am qualified to comment upon the State of your Hair, having none myself, but it is not unpleasant to look at.

[stagethreeclinger]

...You're 3? Your language and writing is pretty advanced for a toddler.

On the third question, it's 'How unfun is the world you come from?' There seem to be a lot of people that aren't getting modern slang. Or is this a lost in translation thing?

I'm pretty sure their reason is they're pissed that they might go hungry because they're more to feed. I dunno, man, people are dicks when they're hungry. Like those Snickers commercials.

[Audio]

[notamachine]

[Dean watches the post twice and looks at the text twice and seriously? What are you smoking.]

You actually expect people to fill that out? This isn't Livejournal, y'know.

[Audio]

[stagethreeclinger]

Most actually did, except for a couple non-mainstreamers, sooo...

[ So you suck Dean, stop being a hipster. ]

text

[michaeljangelo]

Your Name: Mike
Your Age: 16
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: I am the antithesis of suck.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: Not enough turtles.
Notes: Screw your SnoCone, I want a Cherry Icee.

text

[stagethreeclinger]

Whoa, for real? That must be an awesome existence.

Was the part where the entire place is a turtle not enough for you? And hey, this was only a 5 question survey, you're gonna have to do more than that to graduate up to Icee.

[Video with text attachment]

[tactile_telekinesis]

[Wow, okay so you look kind of familiar and it's seriously going to bug him. Not quite the same, but close enough to a face he seen before? Who knows, who cares.]

Yeah you really did just give an open invitation. It's like when you see the awesome ads for the cruises and it's all the best bits, then you get there and the food is mush, the water's a little funky and the head of security is a tight ass with most of the crew being assholes themselves. The captain? You might get a conversation with her where she doesn't talk down to you. Maybe. Probably not.

Hawaii was way better though, just sayin'.

Your Name: Superboy
Your Age: if we're gettin technical then 2. if not like 15 I think?
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: Major.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: dude too much to type
Notes:

[Video]

[stagethreeclinger]

Wow, downer. You're not really into the positive thinking, are you? Also, man you might want to talk it out with someone about that cruise hateboner. I don't know what happened to you on your last vacation, but it must have been pretty traumatizing.

I wouldn't know, I've never been. I've got an island paradise back home that's enough, though. I didn't know the Superfamily had that man in it. Or that there was a Superfamily at all.

video + text;

[sciencewhizard]

Your Name: Wally West
Your Age: 16
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: Eh. It ain't Planet of the Apes.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: Food. Rationing.
Notes: Eh, hair's fine. Might need to brush it a bit if you're planning on picking up any ladies, though.

Okay - so, unless you're from a future version of my world, I'm gonna guess you're from a parallel universe cause dude, Roy Harper I know? If you wanna talk "Stick up the ass..."

[ Ahem. He loves his Roy, but he can't deny how much of a grump he is. ]

video;

[stagethreeclinger]

Nah, I've got a badass alien princess for a sort of girlfriend that'd probably incinerate me if I went trying to get with any ladies.

[ And, oh, he's pretty recently heard about the whole other world Roy from Kyle and it's a little bit of a sensitive spot, so there's a stuttered laugh that fails to be completely genuine. ]

Shit, how'd that happen? If I've got Stick Up The Ass syndrome in my future I'm totally taking more chill vacations.

video;

[relentlesstide]

[Ah, someone he possibly knows... Well, vaguely. His timeline's Roy was a founding Teen Titan with Arthur's protege. And he knows Roy had a daughter, because she was the flower girl at Garth's wedding, but... He has a sneaking suspicion this isn't the same one.]

Beautiful city. Yes, tell that to the Water Sector right now; you must have a low standard of 'beauty'. [Time to gauge his reaction to a man in orange scales.]

video;

[stagethreeclinger]

[ Uuuuh, Aquadude? He's vaguely familiar with his existence. He blinks for a moment and seriously hopes this guy don't remember all the prank calls and texts and emails he sent to the Justice League. Whoops. ]

Prettier than Gotham, that's for damn sure. And holy crap, I wasn't expecting to meet half the Justice League here.

[video + text]

[apologiesmyking]

[Kaldur recognizes that voice and even that face, but the hair, the costume, the tone--everything else is different. It's like look at a distorted mirror image of someone he knows very dearly. It's much like how he felt when truly seeing the differences between Arthur and Orin.

Should he speak up? Will this version of Roy know who he is but expect someone different, as Orin and Mera did? Would he know him at all? He hesitates. Perhaps responding to his questions will allow him to gauge his reactions.]

Your Name: Kaldur'ahm
Your Age: Of age
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: I do not know either of those references, but Earth as I know it is no worse than any other that I have learned of.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: My sole complaints are that relations have soured between foreigners and the native inhabitants. I also would prefer more information on what our true purpose here is.
Notes: I am not the best to ask about such a topic.

It is strange and likely undesired circumstances, but a welcome is in order. Adjustment can be...disconcerting when you first arrive here.

[video]

[stagethreeclinger]

[ Unlike Kaldur, he's completely unfamiliar with the name. With a lot of these names he's supposed to know, actually. Weird. ]

Of age for what?

And that's the first real welcome I've got - thanks! I don't know, it's not too bad. The smoothies are fantastic.

[donttouch]

Your Name: rogue
Your Age: sixteen
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: better for some people than others. so, it depends if you're bambi in bambi or bambi's mom or flower
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: could do with less leery locals and more straightforward answers
Notes: the hair's nice enough. i give it a seven.

[stagethreeclinger]

That sounds about right for my world too. Unless you're in Gotham - then everything just blows constantly.

Hell yeah, I'll take a seven. Good thing my hat hair cleared up during the time/space jump.

[audio]

[inseine]

[Tights, masks, and capes. That reeks of superheroes, which Javert learned from another of their lot gallivanting around the Turtle. What is it about future eras that invites such chaos into the world?]

Let's pretend I understand every word of your foreign cultural references. I still do not know your intent, [rumbles a curt voice.] What is the purpose of this survey?

[audio]

[stagethreeclinger]

[ Take a vacation to Gotham and it'll be pretty obvious. ]

I dunno, ice breaker? Hearing more about why the natives are so angry? Are question not allowed?

text; look who learned emotes

[trifurcate]

Your Name: Bryn Zethir
Your Age: 25
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: I've never heard of Fantasia or Bambi but my homeworld does not suck. :|
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: Nothing that hasn't already been listed.
Notes: If you're going to ask others to fill this form out you ought to do the same yourself.

text; aw hells yeah

[stagethreeclinger]

Can do!

Your Name: Roy Harper
Your Age: 21
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: I'd rank it about at Alice In Wonderland, meaning it can be pretty damn cool sometimes, but other times it can be seriously shitty and dangerous as hell (´Д｀)
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: None so far, aside from the cold shoulder I'm getting from the natives.
Notes: How's that works?

video; anonymous location | I'm assuming he's wearing his mask if not I'll change it to 'Roy'!

[andaway]

[Superman is the one using video for this. Roy Harper knew of Clark Kent back at home, but he can't be sure this one will- and Superman is way more easy to recognize than his reporter persona.

Because while this young man is enough like Roy for Kal to be able to tell who he is, he's also pretty sure he is not the one in his world, but there's no way for him to know that until he talks to him.]


...Arsenal?

video; anonymous location | I'm cool with saying he is! :3

[stagethreeclinger]

[ Oh son of a fjdkslfdlsfjla the last time Roy say Superman, he, Jason and Kori were trying to kill him (it was a pretty sad attempt tbh). This guy is completely ridiculous in terms of power and Roy's not exactly thrill about seeing him around.

But also not that surprised he knows him. ]

...If this is the beginning of an arrest, I think it's only fair I get a ten minute head start on hiding.

Also, I'm really sorry about the arrow to the face. Jason told me to.

text

[epigrammatical]

[Henry's idle—genuinely idle—and has only just now discovered this. Cue amusement. His age many or may not be accurate.]

Your Name: Lord Henry Wotton
Your Age: Forty-five.
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: I am afraid I am not familiar with this charming piece of argot.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: As others have stated, the rationing and the increasing tensions are by far the least enjoyable aspects of our stay here. The desolation of the scenery outside the city is also singularly depressing.
Notes: Are you in need of a barber, dear fellow?

text

[stagethreeclinger]

Sorry, piece of what?

Is that a fancy way of saying 'get a haircut, hippy'?

text

[una_persson]

Your Name: Una Persson
Your Age: [This field intentionally left blank.]
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: Late twentieth century Britain ranges from "Winter of Discontent" to "Big Bang", depending.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: Oh, the usual, really. [In fact she's sitting on an unpleasant discovery and trying to figure out what to do with it.
Notes: Will all these results be compiled somewhere?

text

[stagethreeclinger]

[ mmmkay well if she doesn't want to share than he's not going to press it ]

Late 20th? Are we talking like 1990s? Because ouch.

Nah, I'm too lazy for it.

video;

[crotcharrow]

You realise asking us to fill out a thing with our personal info and then asking about superheroes is sort of stupid right? Secret identities? Like, are you trying to find out where they all are?

[Not that Tommy's been very goot at keeping his up, but what with the recent attacks hitting closer to home than he'd like, he's gonna be a bit more stringent about things.

video;

[stagethreeclinger]

I'm mostly trying to figure out who's cool and who I need to hide from. And people I know. It's been pretty enlightening, actually.

[ jussayin, man. ]

video; anon location; throw in 95 % batcrypted

[demon_brat]

[... stare. STARE.]

Harper?

video; anon location; throw in 95 % batcrypted

[stagethreeclinger]

[ :O Hey there, bitty bat ]

Sup, kiddo. How's it hangin?