tushanshu | 001

001 | Video

[ So, Roy hasn't been around that long, but he's gotten to know Keeliai, the natives, heard about the Emperor and definitely picked up on the tension between foreigners and the Kedan, but just out right asking about What The Hell Is Wrong With This Place seems a little too obvious. And lame.

And this way is much more fun. ]

Okay so is there a part of living on the back of a giant magic turtle that isn't supposed to be completely awesome? Because a lot of you seem to be really bummed about it, and I'm starting to think it's more than just a strong case of Stick Up The Ass going around.

[ And frankly, Roy likes looking like the idiot. He raises up a hand holding some kind of Kedanian smoothie in the cafe he's seated in, and gives an 'okay, humor me' kind of gesture. ]

Let's pretend for two seconds that you're all actually the most boring people ever and the part where we're on a monster turtle isn't enough for you - you're getting what's practically a free vacation. A beautiful city on a tropical island that's really more like a cruise, and even a space you can go sit near Yurtle's massive head and zen your neurotic brains out. The closest we have to that at home is legalizing pot.

I know I'm inviting a sea of sarcastic quips to kill my buzz about the whole badass Suessical adventure, so let's try to be organized and civil about this - there's only so much scathing sardonicism I can handle at once. Please fill out the attached form and get back to me:

Your Name: Self explanatory.
Your Age: It'd probably explain some things, I'm jussayin.
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: On a scale of Fantasia to Bambi. Just trying to keep some perspective.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: Let it all out, brothers and sisters. Testify.
Notes: Whatever. How's my hair?

Thank you for your participation! Here is a wavier for your free snow cone! Not really. Sorry.

[ Oh wait, just this last piece here: ] Also, if you know anyone who likes to run around in tights and a mask, maybe a cape, let me know? Thanks! [ A little salute, and he signs out. ]

[[ ooc; If you could, please fill out his permissions post ova hurr, and here's the html for his little questionnaire thing :>

]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey there, Bat Junior. Long time no kidnap.

Nah, man, I have legit pants - I traded up after jumping the Robin Hood ship. I thought tights were a Batcreeper School For Combat Ready Teens requirement?

I actively avoid kidnappings. The whole 'boy hostage' thing is pretty passe. I'm pretty over it.

Well, I am a graduate of the aforementioned school. Like I said--not judging. Not like I have any place to.

Yeaaah because the other day you and Jaybird where just having tea with good ol' Chuckles McStapled-on-face?

Does Bruce hand out diplomas for that or do you guys just get honorary capes with gold stars sewn in?

[If this were video, Tim would be staring.]

Nah. Instead of diplomas, we get issues and paranoia. It's our way.

And... what are you talking about? Jason and I haven't seen each other in... a while. [Since he tried to kill me last.] And definitely not in conjunction with the Laughing Man.

[ woops ]

Yeah, I believe that. Is it mostly just a Gotham thing, or is it like Wayne Patent?

Uh, well, Jason, Kori and I have been in Gotham twice in the last few months, and there was kind of that whole Joker trying to reenact the glory days deal? I mean, I wasn't in there with you guys, but word was he snagged both of you. I was helping out your Teen Superdudes trying to get to you. Good kids, by the way.

[Sense of confusion growing.]

Bat-Patent. Batman Inc. is working on getting the copyright details hammered out. [Barbara and Steph aren't technically Waynes.]

...Yeah, the Titans are great. Thanks. Um. [Ignoring the kidnapping thing for now, because...]

When did you and Jason get to be BFFs?

So does Bruce actually come up with the Bat-____FILLINTHEBLANK____ names? And everyone just accepts it being really sadly unoriginal because he's scary as hell?

When he broke me out of a middle eastern prison and tried to drive me into a herd of tanks in nothing but a roofless humvee. We bonded.

Pretty sure Dick would have been the first one to say something like "Bat Shark Repellent," when he was, like, twelve. But come on. It's Bruce, and he just is scary as hell. Who's going to argue?

[TIM IS SO CONFUSED NOW. LAST HE HEARD ROY WAS LOSING HIS SHIT AFTER ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPENED TO HIM.]

That... sounds like him. [Before he lost it and dyed his hair red and things got incredibly weird.]

[ Aaaaand seeing as he just heard from Kyle about the whole alternate dimension thing, he's finally getting the issue with this. ]

I never knew Grayson was such a nerd. Do you guys seriously have shark repellent? When is that ever useful?

[ And since he's finally getting what's going on: ]

I think I'm getting this - sorry, man, this is not the Roy Harper you're looking for. I'm the wacky alternate dimension one going through young adult delinquency. Sorry about that.

Edited 2013-04-22 18:39 (UTC)

He thinks he's hilarious. And you'd be surprised at how often something like that would come in handy. I mean. Sharks.

[Paaaaaaaaaaause before continuing.]

That explains a lot. don't apologize. Guess I'm not the Red Robin you're looking for either, huh?

Edited 2013-04-22 18:49 (UTC)

I'm guessing that means he's really not? Where the hell are you finding sharks in Gotham?

No worries. I didn't really know him that well anyway. You. This is weird.

Would you consider someone who came up with the term 'bat shark-repellent' very funny? And Gotham does have a harbor. Plus, there are uses sometimes with the League and the Titans.

I've only met the you from my world a few times, too. So, most of what I know comes through Dick.

[And Batfiles. Obviously. Creepy stalkers that they are.]

Yeah, but are their seriously sharks around Jersey? When did the League of the Titans fight Jaws?

Uuuh whatever he said is a lie. Unless it was good. I'm doubting it was good.

[ 8| wow, batcreepers ]

Well, not many. And basically never, but it could happen. And you know the Bat Scout motto: be prepared.

Why wouldn't it be good? [You guys are bros.]

Batscouts. How is that not a thing that is surprising. Well, it's Gotham, so whatever.

No reason in specific. He probably thought I was annoying. [ And also he's sleeping with his ex-girlfriend 8T ]

That's pretty much always the response when it comes to Gotham.

Yeah, that's not the feeling I got, but... Well, like you said. Different universe. Different you. Different me. Probably different him as well. [And that thought is just w e i r d.]

So how would you rank this place on a scale from Gotham to the Bahamas?

Yeah, true enough. Apparently the other Roy is a hell of a lot different from me so that makes sense. [ don't you judge him ]

Way closer to the Bahamas. Though some things make it feel a little like home. I don't get too bored at night, at least.

He's a little more grim than you these days. [With good reason.]

There's actual crime to fish here, and not, like, fishing in someone else's spot?

Yeah, I heard 'grumpy' before. Sucks to be him.

Actual crime, actual gangs. It's not quite like home--because there's no place like home, like the stories say, But I don't get too bored.

And yeah. It really does suck to be him.

Edited 2013-04-27 11:57 (UTC)

Hot damn, bat-kid. Got your night job all set up for you.

Huh. Noted. I'll make a point not to end up in his dimension.

What can I say? Sometimes it's good to be me.

Well... I'd say I mostly find it a pretty decent place to be, but you know. I'm from Gotham. I think that skews my perspective a little.

I hear you. The shadier side of Detriot would be a decent place in comparison.

Hey, you're talking about my home.

[If text could sound amused, this would.]

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