tushanshu | 001

[ So, Roy hasn't been around that long, but he's gotten to know Keeliai, the natives, heard about the Emperor and definitely picked up on the tension between foreigners and the Kedan, but just out right asking about What The Hell Is Wrong With This Place seems a little too obvious. And lame.

And this way is much more fun. ]

Okay so is there a part of living on the back of a giant magic turtle that isn't supposed to be completely awesome? Because a lot of you seem to be really bummed about it, and I'm starting to think it's more than just a strong case of Stick Up The Ass going around.

[ And frankly, Roy likes looking like the idiot. He raises up a hand holding some kind of Kedanian smoothie in the cafe he's seated in, and gives an 'okay, humor me' kind of gesture. ]

Let's pretend for two seconds that you're all actually the most boring people ever and the part where we're on a monster turtle isn't enough for you - you're getting what's practically a free vacation. A beautiful city on a tropical island that's really more like a cruise, and even a space you can go sit near Yurtle's massive head and zen your neurotic brains out. The closest we have to that at home is legalizing pot.

I know I'm inviting a sea of sarcastic quips to kill my buzz about the whole badass Suessical adventure, so let's try to be organized and civil about this - there's only so much scathing sardonicism I can handle at once. Please fill out the attached form and get back to me:

Your Name: Self explanatory.
Your Age: It'd probably explain some things, I'm jussayin.
Level of Suck of Your Homeworld: On a scale of Fantasia to Bambi. Just trying to keep some perspective.
Your Complaints About Our Magical Turtle Adventure: Let it all out, brothers and sisters. Testify.
Notes: Whatever. How's my hair?

Thank you for your participation! Here is a wavier for your free snow cone! Not really. Sorry.

[ Oh wait, just this last piece here: ] Also, if you know anyone who likes to run around in tights and a mask, maybe a cape, let me know? Thanks! [ A little salute, and he signs out. ]

[[ ooc; If you could, please fill out his permissions post ova hurr, and here's the html for his little questionnaire thing :>

]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Holy hot damn, man you could have totally interrupted every part of a football game. Or... most any social gathering, really. Thirty's not much to feel bad about, though.

It'd be a good side job, not gonna lie. Do you have anything shorter than that?

Well, I have been invited to a few parties before, and I have not interrupted them, or caused very much of a disturbance at all, but I have never been to a football game. What is it like?

[Pause.] I do not see why I should, when it is my name.

It's a bunch of American dudes running after each other and jumping on top of each other in tights. Kind homoerotic, gotta say. Not as much as Turkish Oil Wrestling, though, but that's not part of this conversation.

Just for, I dunno, shorthand? Familiarity?

[Pause.]

Is this common entertainment in America, then? Watching people mate?

--Everyone calls me Temeraire; it is what my captain named me. [Politely but firmly: it's obviously reason enough.]

[ H-HA. HAHAHAHA. HOLD ON, GIVE HIM A MINUTE TO BREATHE. ]

You would be surprised, man. It's probably the most popular form of entertainment there is, thanks to the internet.

[ Oh, captain :O ] Yeah? Who was your captain? Captain of what?

The internet?

Oh, his name is William Laurence, and he is captain of--me, I suppose, though it is closer to say that he is mine, rather than the other way around. At present we are serving in the Royal Aerial Corps--or we were, before I was taken from London, and brought here.

Edited 2013-05-13 15:17 (UTC)

001 | Video

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