001 - [Video]

[kungfood]

[The image displayed is of nothing human. It is, in fact, nothing more than a panda in a pair of darned pants standing straight up as if he knows no other way to stand. He’s obviously in the new “home” he’s been given, and if it’s possible for him to seem even more out of place, he somehow manages it. It’s similar but it’s not, and he’s never seen anything like the kedan before.

He’s entirely out of his element, and if it was ever doubted that a panda could display that much with expression, he’s living, standing, awkward proof that a panda can do just that.]

Uh. [Brief, something that was almost a word but never quite made it. He has no idea about these devices except for what he’s been told, and he still finds it difficult to believe. Others can see him, he can see them, and they can speak that way. How is that possible?] So. Hi. This showing a picture, right? A…a moving one, I guess. I don’t really understand, but that’s what those guys told me, so it probably does, right?

[He’s blathering. This is hardly anything new with him, and he realizes it, and that also shows. He runs a paw over his face, ears popping right back into place when it passes over them.]

Yeah, so, the introduction thing, I guess. I’m, uh, [awkward] Po [still awkward] and I’m from a place called the Valley of Peace, and [little less awkward] I never really thought that when you ascended, it was to another city. Thought of it more like another plane. But that’s okay, because you can’t ascend anything when you’re asleep, but you can apparently get trapped, and that’s pretty, uh. That really sucks. Like. It sucks a lot.

[He’s still obviously out of his element, but he stands up a little straight and stops fidgeting.]

Is there anything that whoever else here can tell me that doesn’t suck?

[Things that suck less are also wanted, and it’s after a close-up of a bear paw that the image disconnects.]

Comments

Video;

[alphatar]

[Have a seventeen year old girl staring at you with a straw loosely dangling from her lips.]

You're a PANDA.

[That needed to be stated for some reason.]

Video;

[kungfood]

[Well, yes, that sucks less than being trapped in a strange place far from home with strange people and strange noodles, his being a panda. But it's not exactly what he was looking for.

But that begs the question...]

Yeah, I'm a panda. [How is he polite about this? He needs to be polite. Really, he can manage this. He just hasn't ever seen this kind of species before.] And you're...not a panda.

[It's a start?]

[backinakidflash]

[Bart is craning his neck to the side to see if this is some sort of optical illusion. His eyes are huge.]

Is... that a costume?

video forever, etc.

[kungfood]

[It seems to be a thing with this new species, eyes being very wide.]

Is what a costume?

video;

[suoxi]

Personally, I'm rather fond of the tea.

[ OH WOW IT'S A PANDA. ]

video forever, etc.

[kungfood]

[Aw, yeah! Finally someone who speaks English about stuff that doesn't suck!]

It's good tea? I could go for some tea right now. Feeling kind of, uh, weak. Woke up that way, but it's getting better.

video;

[dungfu]

... Too long. I didn't listen to all. You talk a lot for a bear.

[... Sorry, Po.]

video forever, etc.

[kungfood]

[Is that...a wolf? An actual wolf? Something familiar? Even if she's saying he talks too much, it doesn't matter. He knows wolves!

Even if they hit him with a hammer, they're not all the same.]

Ah...I'm new. And it doesn't seem like the best place, but it's not as bad as it could be.

Is that better?

Video

[subject223]

[ When a man knows a sentient tree named Groot and a gun-toting raccoon named Rocket, it's difficult to be surprised by a talking panda. ]

It's called a computer console, son. It's connecting us via a video transmission.

[ It isn't often Steve knows more about technology than someone else. He's taking advantage of this to be helpful. ]

video forever, etc.

[kungfood]

["Son"? Po doesn't really get that. It used to be "you" and then became "panda" but he's only his dad's son. Maybe it's something with humans. He's not going to comment on it. It doesn't seem to be out of anything mean.]

That's a lot of words I've never heard of before, so it's still pretty weird to me. Was it new to you? Was it easy to get used to?

[There's a moment before he wiggles his fingers.]

Kind of big to pick the keys, you know?

[saved7]

The pictures are strange aren't they?

[The speaker is a young looking woman with a pal complexion and blonde hair, but currently brown eyes, looking at him curiously from behind angry red scars. As an afterthought, she smiles softly like it might be reassuring.]

But the people here are usually friendly.

[kungfood]

[One thing Po is noticing? All these humans (he's assuming they're all humans) have varied color schemes, which isn't so bizarre. He hasn't seen anyone with that sort of thing on their face, though, so it's another thing to add to the puzzle of this "hue-mun" mystery.

Is it weird? Po doesn't know. Then again, everything is weird so far.]

I'm used to paintings, not things that move. It's kind of...I never thought about it before, but it's pretty cool! [He can't lie. It is extremely amazing so far.] Friendly is good. It's good for everyone! Get along and help each other, that's...that's the best thing you can do. I think so, at least.

[video]

[takeittothemax]

[holy crap it's a panda.

Okay, not the weirdest thing he's ever seen, because hello DCU, but still.]

Uh. There's bars?

[Do pandas even drink beer? Hold on a second while he ponders this.] I'm not sure if that counts, but, well, it's something.

video forever, etc.

[kungfood]

[It is a panda! In pants. And talking. Try not to swoon, even if it's difficult.]

Bars?

[Po's not completely familiar with them. He knows of alcohol, but in mild forms. He could definitely drink, but it would take a lot to get him drunk—he's just a big guy!]

I don't know about them, are they popular? I wouldn't mind checking one out for myself!

video

[unetrustworthy]

[Midii had promised herself that the majority of her subsequent initiations of contact would start off as audio until she could gauge how much of a threat the other person was.]

[However, all that planning quickly went out the window when she saw a giant talking panda on her screen. It took several moments--and reviewing the resultant live conversations with others--before she managed to convince herself this wasn't some sort of televised program meant for children. This was real.]

You...can talk.

[She knew Bart had told her magic existed here, but this was so far above what she had even been expecting, words momentarily failed her.]

video forever, etc.

[kungfood]

[Po's only a threat when he needs to be. He's not about to start attacking anyone willy-nilly. That's not what kung fu is about! That's actually the opposite, really.]

Yeaaaaah. [He scratches his chin(s), clearly thinking about something. He doesn't want to say anything rude.] But you can, too, right? So that's good. We can communicate because we can both talk.

[Eloquent.]

[fearlessherosheart]

It is quite likely that we are on another plane. Certainly another world than either the one you or I were born on.

[On the plus side, Tazendra was born on another planet, so she has no preconceptions that furry black-and-white tsalmoth-y creatures shouldn't be talking to her.]

[kungfood]

This definitely isn't like where I was born.

[So few animals, so many...animals he doesn't recognize.]

Have you been here for very long?

Somewhere. Somewhere. someone is shaking their head at this.

[givenanonymity]

[That sure is a Panda bear.

Okay.]

Free Housing.

[Did he really get kidnapped or maybe is he dead. He's starting to think that might be it.]

...May be easier for you to get food.

i don't know, i'm laughing

[kungfood]

[Po's not so sure about being kidnapped. Does being trapped necessarily mean kidnapping? He could be trapped if he fell into a hole, and no one would have put him there.]

What do you mean, easier for me?

video;

[dracobin]

[He has heard of pandas, of course, and seen paintings of them before, but to see one living and breathing and--talking--in front of him is another matter entirely. It is probably for the best he has never actually met a panda before, because he would likely have tried to eat it before he ever introduced himself.]

I do not think you have ascended anywhere: it would be very difficult, with no wings, would it not?

video forever, etc.

[kungfood]

[And Po has heard of dragons. He's seen them on paintings, he's seen them as statues, he's seen them all his life. He's actually got a title with "Dragon" in it, even!

He's never seen one, though, because they're not real. Then again, it seems talking bears aren't very real, either.

Be cool, Po. Be cool.]

I meant—more of a, you know, like. [Maybe he should think before he speaks. It's difficult on a good day, but dragon.] Moving on, not flying anywhere. Another, uh, area of existence. Not up in the air.

video;

[flagrate]

[ here, po. have someone completely unfazed by a talking panda. ]

The food doesn't suck. But there's nowhere near enough of it.

video forever, etc.

[kungfood]

[This is good. The less Po has to think about how animals are in all these other worlds, the better.]

Yeah, I heard that the food's kind of scarce. It's not what I'm used to, either. [Eggs? Seriously? Maybe it's a different thing, but highly doubts it. He hadn't bothered to ask about meat, because he figured he could cross that bridge whenever he saw it.] It's enough for humans to live on, though, isn't it?

video;

[sureisaguy]

It doesn't all suck.

[ Clearly Po is another mutant and that is totally normal for Mikey. Sup bro. ]

video forever, etc.

[kungfood]

[Whoa, hey bro. Green, shell. That's a shell, right? Another talking animal? Here's to hoping!]

Good tea and free housing, that's what I've gotten so far. But we're on a turtle and the turtle is sick, so that sounds like it sucks.

For the turtle and everyone else.

[video] Anonymous ID / Net Café

[wallcrawler]

[Normally Pete'd be joining the ranks of people freaking out that you can talk, but something about it just isn't pinging him like it should.

But then again he also knows mutant turtles who happen to be ninjas, so, y'know, the impact of a talking panda has kind of been lessened. Which is why he doesn't look to be terribly intrigued by the video, and is instead just lounging comfortably in a chair inside a Metal sector net café.]

Well, most of the people are pretty nice. Just not the local ones. They're usually either grumpy, or stubbornly refusing to answer any questions.

[And at that, he's getting more than a few dirty looks from patrons at other consoles. Also a few choice words muttered under their breath, but it's not loud enough for the console to pick up. It is loud enough for him to get a general feel for the room though, and he points behind him at one of the kedan offenders with his thumb.]

See? Grumpy. Probably won't get any better 'til the rationing ends and they can't find anything else to blame us for.

video forever, etc.

[kungfood]

[The handful of creatures who haven't immediately been shocked that he talks are going up, meaning he's getting more and more confused about the role of pandas and animals in general in these other worlds. Not that he'd ever thought about other worlds with other creatures, but hey: if there's more pandas somewhere, no matter how few, that's good.]

Yeah, they didn't seem to be the most friendly of guys when I got here. [Another shrug, and he reaches up to scratch behind one ear, which promptly wiggles back and forth.] If this Emperor brought us here, why are they blaming us and not the Emperor? That doesn't make any sense.

video;

[demon_brat]

[Hold on, hold on. This kid is not surprised by the fact that it's a talking panda.]

[But by the fact there are things that sound sort of familiar about what he's saying. And because he doesn't forget much...]

... were you Shifu's student?

video forever, etc.

[kungfood]

[He's not shocked that Po's a panda. That's a plus.

But how does he know Shifu? He's not sure about that little drop of information, so if he leans back a bit and looks more wary than confused, he can't help it.]

Yeah...yeah, I am. How do you know Master Shifu?

video; I'm so sorry, you're probably sick of this reaction by now

[spiderkid]

I know everybody else is saying it, but... dude, you're a PANDA.

never! i expected it and welcome it.

[kungfood]

[So humans. They have this problem, as far as Po can tell. They eat animals, animals don't talk, and they're shocked when one does.

And something about entertainment...]

I so am. [Oddly enough, he's getting used to it. Better to get a sense of humor about it than to try and explain how normal it is where he comes from ad nauseam, isn't it?] And you aren't, so we've covered the basics, right?

audio; O HI FELLOW NON-HUMAN are late!tags ok?

[anything_it_takes]

Well for one thing, we're on a turtle. [Clearly this is an awesome thing and needs no further quantification.]

And if you go outside, they won't lynch you or put you a science lab - or in a zoo. [You being a panda after all, dude.] That's pretty nice.

video; totally not okay at all

[kungfood]

[Turtles are awesome; Po agrees. Science labs? He has no idea. He's just heard about zoos. Why would anyone lynch him, though? What sort of crazy world does this turtle dude come from?]

I just found out what a zoo was. I don't know about the other stuff. Why would they do that?

video;

[storm_warning]

[A... panda.

Huh.

That's... different.]

Valley of Peace? What kind of hippy place is that?

ooc; I am so sorry for the late tag-in.

video forever, etc.

[kungfood]

[Everything here is different so far; at least everyone seems to be in the same boat!]

...uh. I don't know what a hippy is, but it's a really cool place that's great to live in. Does that make more sense?