video.

[langsyne]

[Good evening chelonauts, tonight you are being treated to the fine sight of one (1) bruised and somewhat bloody Ant-Man looking far more annoyed than he has looked his entire stay on this turtle. There are scrapes and cuts all over his face and his mouth is a thin line that is barely visible until he opens it to speak.]

Heads up: if any of you guys see a rooster that looks like it's been fused with a telephone box, do me a huge favor and run, not walk, in the opposite direction if you want to wake up tomorrow with still ten fingers. [He hasn't lost any of his own yet but it's only a matter of time.] I don't think there's another one of these Frankenchickens out there but just in case.

[There's long-suffering sigh and he's about to say more when he immediately gets drowned out by the rooster rattling around in its makeshift cage and crowing its little cybernetic head off. At the rate things are going, that cage ain't gonna hold it much longer and then fingers are actually going to be lost.

Scott turns and attempts to shush the rooster several times, but since the rooster listens to him about as well as everyone else does (which is to say not at all), he finally gives up and just ignores the damn thing, pinching his nose in exasperation.]

Anyone have any extra bandages? And maybe a flamethrower? You'll get paid back in chicken patties.

Comments

action;

[asoothingvoice]

[Naturally the first thing she spots is that by the time she's arrived, with a first aid kit in hand, Scott has more bloodied cuts than he had in the video feed.]

Why did you go near the rooster again if it injured you that much in the first place!?

[Because naturally this is the first thing to tell him off for.]

Thank you for waiting outside, it made it easier to find you, but I'm not patching you up out here. I'm Bianca, by the way.

[Don't challenge it, Scott, she's a nurse.]

[video]

[witchnotwarlock]

Rooster Cop: Live and in the Feathers. [He pauses.]

I don't know. I'm better at reading comics then writing them, you know?

video;

[pandoricas]

[Yes, sort of...]

Will it even have an angry off switch? Sounds like a strange thing to put on it.

[Then again.]

action;

[langsyne]

[Scott looks up at the voice calling out and immediately winces, because oh god she's not happy and he has been surrounded by angry women all his life and can't he catch just one break?

Guess not.]

Uh...to get it out of the way in case you had to come inside?

[His voice is duly chastised though, even if his point is somewhat legitimate.]

Also what's wrong with doing it outside? There's plenty of space outside.

video;

[langsyne]

I really hope so. My fingers really hope so too.

[In case of worse (and likeliest) case scenario though....]

You wouldn't happen to have any experience with chickens and calming them down, would you?]

[video]

[langsyne]

Practice makes perfect, right? There might be a good audience here and it's not like we're going anywhere and maybe if you do it long enough here when you get back home you'll be all set to go.

[Or well. One can dream, right?]

video;

[pandoricas]

Er--

[Sadly, for all of Rory's experiences and adventures, none of them have really involved a mad chicken.]

--no, sorry. Wish I could do more to help though.

video;

[zinthosmantra]

Should... we ask?

video; why is there a rogue bracket at the end....

[langsyne]

[What good are you, Rory? :c

That's okay, none of Scott's have either and he's kind of wringing his (metaphorical) hands trying to figure out a solution to all of this. Hopefully the weirdo who owns the chicken will be over to pick it up soon.]

That's okay. It's probably safer for everyone involved if you don't come over. [Although:] What about tips for getting blood out of the carpet?

[langsyne]

['Bro'? Is this what hip terminology is like nowadays?]

I don't really want to be 'bros' with something that'll split my face in two. Also, yet. You're missing a yet at the end of that sentence.

You guys can be bros though. You clearly understand him way better than I do.

video;

[langsyne]

[That is a very open-ended question, Raven.]

Ask what? The chicken to stop, or why I even have a chicken in the first place?

video;

[fdaterminator]

[Bursts out laughing.] Yeah, your average rooster, maybe.

[fdaterminator]

A lot.

text;

[fdaterminator]

Poyo's worth the investment.

...Oh, just odds and ends.

video;

[fdaterminator]

Who cares? I'm introducing myself and I want my partner back.

And where would this medicine cabinet you've apparently trapped him in be located?

[escarabajo]

[It's a matter of origin all right don't be robo-racist.]

I meant 'bloodthirsty' as in 'likes to massacre things'. Now you're making me imagine a vampire cyborg rooster. Not a pretty sight, dude.

[cibopath]

No, no! I'm not USDA. It's only them.

... I think.

video; its magic also LOL MATCHING ICONS

[pandoricas]

[He's a good husband...! And also a nurse, not that Scott needs one now...]

Just spray cold water on the stains and use a dry towel to absorb the water back up. Do it a few times and the stains should go away soon enough.

[video]

[witchnotwarlock]

Making sure I can the best comic book writer ever? That's not bad! I haven't really thought too much about what I want to do as a job when I get older... maybe this is it!

[His dreaming can make things come true!]

video;

[backinakidflash]

Oh, did they upgrade that too? [A super speed rooster may not be as awesome as a superdog, but one has to start somewhere.]

Good to know. How fast are we talking? And don't give it to me in Mach, that's a ratio. Straight velocity please.

video; no mask

[backinakidflash]

I'd be kinda surprised if the robo bits get inherited.

[baseline encryption]

Dude. The FDA cops - since when does the FDA have agents - say its faster than your average chicken. I need to see this.

[langsyne]

You think.

[That's not exactly an inspiring vote of confidence.]

But if you're not USDA then what are you?

[langsyne]

[Scott is already racist with Atlanteans do you think he is going to be less racist with robo-cybord things?]

It could happen. If you drop by for a visit tomorrow and find me on the ground with two little holes in my neck, then you'll know what happened.

video;

[langsyne]

And I would like the half an hour of my life I wasted trying to restrain your partner but unfortunately we don't always get what we want.

[Not that it matters because dear god he wants this rooster out of his life and if that means handing it over to crazed USDA agents then so be it.]

And it's in my apartment. Which you're not allowed to search without a warrant. Do the kedan even give out warrants?

[video]

[langsyne]

[Now if he could only dream Cassie back to life, things would be excellent. But then time and space would probably break because you can't exactly go around messing with life like that and not get a humongous backlash.]

You should give it a try then. And if I'm still alive after this rooster debacle, I promise to read it.