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02 [Video]
October 13th, 2013 02:25![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
violetsedanchairGreetings, everyone! This is Doctor Walter Bishop speaking. [He is looking directly at the camera and standing in front of a blank green chalkboard. As he gestures at the viewer, white powder can be seen on his hands and arms.]
I have been here for several weeks, and I have noticed that there are no pigs on this island. At least I have not observed any indicators of them: there are none around, and typical pork products, like bacon, are not available for consumption.
This is an issue that must be rectified! [He clears his throat. We are entering the spiel!] I have come up with three main avenues of research. [He backs up a little from the camera and reaches for the top of the chalkboard. He deftly flips it around revealing white text under the headline OPERATION "BRINGING HOME THE BACON".]
First! [He points: 1) ACQUIRING PIGS] We figure out a way to find some pigs of our own. It is possible there are pigs in this dimension, but we simply have not discovered them yet. A thorough exploration program should be pursued if one is not underway yet. Or, we reach into another dimension [A pig dimension? That's what Belly would call police stations back in the seventies...] and bring a breeding population back here with us. The technological implications there are exciting, but the hurdles severe. And as delicious as bacon is, having the ability to jaunt across dimensions would have better uses than importing pigs.
There are also ethical and legal implications in interdimensional pig rustling.
Second! [2) AN ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE] This one is more likely to succeed, but less likely to be satisfying. We develop a substance that is as close enough to actual bacon as is possible. Some kind of flavoured, lard-fortified tofu perhaps. I ask culinary experts to weigh in.
Third. [3) SYNTHETIC PIGS] We may be able to recreate the pig genome and incubate embryos using your typical splicing and in vitro techniques. This would be biotechnologically very demanding and we have very little to go on with the pig genome. It would require a great deal of trial and error. As far as I can tell there are no species in here that are even remote relatives of the Sus scrofa domesticus. Some of you may point out the similarities between the human genome and the pig genome! The differences are still too vast. It would be easier to create a pig out of a turtle than a human.
[There is a faded fourth line of text that has been scrubbed away, but which eagle-eyed viewers might be able to read: 4) THE LONG PIG OPTION).
There you have it! I hope for a very productive discussion. Any help or advice would be warmly welcome, and if there is enough interest, perhaps we can hold a symposium on the question in the near future!
[Walter reaches for the console and the feed terminates.]
I have been here for several weeks, and I have noticed that there are no pigs on this island. At least I have not observed any indicators of them: there are none around, and typical pork products, like bacon, are not available for consumption.
This is an issue that must be rectified! [He clears his throat. We are entering the spiel!] I have come up with three main avenues of research. [He backs up a little from the camera and reaches for the top of the chalkboard. He deftly flips it around revealing white text under the headline OPERATION "BRINGING HOME THE BACON".]
First! [He points: 1) ACQUIRING PIGS] We figure out a way to find some pigs of our own. It is possible there are pigs in this dimension, but we simply have not discovered them yet. A thorough exploration program should be pursued if one is not underway yet. Or, we reach into another dimension [A pig dimension? That's what Belly would call police stations back in the seventies...] and bring a breeding population back here with us. The technological implications there are exciting, but the hurdles severe. And as delicious as bacon is, having the ability to jaunt across dimensions would have better uses than importing pigs.
There are also ethical and legal implications in interdimensional pig rustling.
Second! [2) AN ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE] This one is more likely to succeed, but less likely to be satisfying. We develop a substance that is as close enough to actual bacon as is possible. Some kind of flavoured, lard-fortified tofu perhaps. I ask culinary experts to weigh in.
Third. [3) SYNTHETIC PIGS] We may be able to recreate the pig genome and incubate embryos using your typical splicing and in vitro techniques. This would be biotechnologically very demanding and we have very little to go on with the pig genome. It would require a great deal of trial and error. As far as I can tell there are no species in here that are even remote relatives of the Sus scrofa domesticus. Some of you may point out the similarities between the human genome and the pig genome! The differences are still too vast. It would be easier to create a pig out of a turtle than a human.
[There is a faded fourth line of text that has been scrubbed away, but which eagle-eyed viewers might be able to read: 4) THE LONG PIG OPTION).
There you have it! I hope for a very productive discussion. Any help or advice would be warmly welcome, and if there is enough interest, perhaps we can hold a symposium on the question in the near future!
[Walter reaches for the console and the feed terminates.]
