05 ☣ TEXT & VOICE;

[angermanaging]

Looking to gather some info. Please respond with succinct list of what you would consider unalterable laws of reality in your home dimension, e.g. gravity, conservation of mass, particular laws of magic.

Will attempt to compile results into meaningful commonalities across dimensions. Maybe there's a universal law somewhere.

Would prefer text response if possible. Thanks.

B. Banner

[The message is then repeated in audio, if preceded by Bruce clearing his throat, for those that can't read English.]


[Voice | 60% encrypted to castmates & established CR.]

Finally got fed up with everyone talking over my head and made a trade to see my future.

[A beat.

In utter, dry exasperation,] You're all nuts. What kind of teamwork was that?

[ooc: Bruce is now post-Avengers! If you're not sure if you're established CR, ping me and I'll let you know if they're included, but feel free to play fast and loose.]

Comments

[jirk]

I'd have to say that's bullshit. Otherwise we wouldn't have gotten this far.

[He doesn't put up with a lot of shit from other people for no reason.]

[angermanaging]

We got this far because you weren't scared off, [he corrects.] Or you're reckless. I'm not sure which.

[He didn't mean to end up friends with him. Bruce rarely means to be friends with anyone. It just sort of sneaks under his radar and happens, but it's true that until they get to that point, he isn't at all concerned with being fair. He can be kind, he can take chances, but fair, no; not when life has never been fair to him.]

[jirk]

[Sourly,]

You know, I'm pretty sure you argue with me more than anyone except my first officer and my CMO.

['You jerk.' It's not implied seriously, though.]

[angermanaging]

Funny, that sounds like a compliment.

[jirk]

[He snorts, amused. But some of the tension's gone.]

Well, let's see. My first officer's gone. I got to see my future - in which - by the way - out of four hundred and thirty four people that get killed I am the only one that gets brought back to life courtesy magical medicinal tribbles [He knows Bruce will remember that incident] and I'm having a really bad hair day today.

[That last part is said with wry humour.]

[angermanaging]

[He hadn't been sure that would work, but something about Jim reminds him very much of Tony. It's not the same-- the issues are different-- but the way they approach them is eerily similar, and it looks like employing the same tactic had worked. He'd gotten Jim to open up without prying intrusively.

What he says instantly sobers him, humor draining away. Bruce doesn't mean to ruin the levity they've attained, which makes it easier to speak about things like this. It's just that his own survivor's guilt is considerable, and he's lost so many people himself... He empathizes with this too well.]

They never ask before they bring you back.

[jirk]

[He drags a hand down over his face. Jim's made a career out of holding things together by inelegant stitchwork and willpower, but the cracks are there and they run deep. For a moment, they're blatant.]

I won't lie to you, man. I wish I'd stayed dead.

[It's the first time he's even dared to think it. But it's true. As much as he's glad to be alive, the weight-- of losing so much and being the only one to gain anything back, is damn near killing him all over again.

He snorts, then.]

You know what did it? Radiation poisoning.

[angermanaging]

[There's a beat, and then it surprises a huff of bitter laughter out of him. Bruce slumps like his strings are cut, and he huddles forward, stretching a hand to rub against his neck.]

Jesus. That's... that's perfect. [The surprise of it startles a more honest admission out of him than he was intending.] I'd wish I'd stayed dead, too. I have wished it. I'm going to be irradiated my whole life.

[There's a resigned easiness to the way he says it. Bruce has had a lot of time to come to terms with that.]

[jirk]

Lucky us, right?

[Gallows humour has never been his wheelhouse, but he's had a hard time shaking it lately. He mimics Bruce's gesture unselfconsciously, rubbing at the back of his neck and letting his fingers rest there a moment, working out the knots there.]

[angermanaging]

[Bruce has plenty of gallows humor, he just doesn't ordinarily express it outside of his head. With him trying to let more of his darker emotions out more, though, in an effort to gain better control, it's harder to contain.]

Lucky us, [he agrees. There's a beat before he goes on.] Did that... help? [Admitting it out loud.]

[jirk]

[He shrugs.]

Much as it ever does to tell shit stories to people you trust.

[... It's... kind of a compliment?]

Captains are, ah. [He pinches the bridge of his nose.] Supposed to be bulletproof.

[angermanaging]

[He gets it. It relieves the pressure a little, but it doesn't fix anything. It's the same problem with opening up Bruce has.]

Good thing you're not my captain.

[jirk]

Careful, them's fightin' words.

[He's everyone's captain, Bruce. It's just how he is.]

[angermanaging]

I don't know. I'd think you'd want one exception.

[Bruce doesn't do so well with authority figures, anyway.]

[jirk]

Oh, I've got a couple. Exclusive club.

[He chuckles, shakes his head.]

Are we done the therapy session now, or do you want to hear all about my daddy issues, too?

[angermanaging]

Maybe I should meet the rest of the club.

[More seriously,] You want to talk about them? [Bruce certainly isn't going to reciprocate on talking about his daddy issues, but he can stand hearing them without incident.]

[jirk]

You've met Kyle.

[A bit of a helpless little shrug. And then he-- thinks about it. He honestly does. But then he shakes his head.]

No. Maybe if you get me really drunk, but do you even make enough money for that?

[Teasing, just a bit.]

[angermanaging]

Oh. Right. I think we live near each other. [If Bruce ever went home...]

I think I make plenty of money now, [he says wryly.] Tony's probably going to give me a raise. But I don't drink, so it might not be... fun. For you.

[jirk]

[Oh Bruce, if you only knew.]

Stark? Wait, he's back? I thought he--

[Trails off. As another horrifying thing occurs to him.]

You don't drink? At all? Courtesy the-- [INARTICULATE HANDWAVE.]

[angermanaging]

[Eyebrow raise.] He's been back for months. There's two of them now.

And... yeah. Sometimes I have one. [Bruce doesn't consider this any great loss, given his preexisting dislike of drinking. Just to add fuel to the fire, he says dryly,] I don't have caffeine most of the time, either. There's a list of things I can't do.

[jirk]

Huh. I don't pay much attention to the-- you know.

[Jim honestly hates the network. He spends as little time on the damned thing as possible, he'd rather be out doing things, meeting people, not sitting at a console. He gets enough of that back on the Enterprise.]

What the hell, man. Next thing you'll tell me you're celibate.

[angermanaging]

He's been a little busy, [Bruce says vaguely. He doesn't want to spill Tony's secrets and say mostly he's been holing up in his apartment drinking and working and not sleeping, especially after that thing in Death.

Then that other comment warrants the dryest look ever.] I am. There's this problem with my heart rate...

[jirk]

[He just blurts out,]

Oh my god.

[What. Just. No. No. HIS EXPRESSION IS COMPLETELY HORRIFIED HOW IS THIS A THING.]

[angermanaging]

[Meanwhile Bruce is treating this like nbd. Okay, he's incredibly frustrated, it's been ten years since he's gotten any, but it's so not the thing he misses the most from normal life.]

This is the thing that horrifies you?

[jirk]

[You wouldn't ask that question if you had any idea how often Jim uses his dick, okay.]

Wh-- yes it horrifies me! Christ, man. I hate your life. On your behalf. Signed and sealed.