video; shortly after waking up this morning

[wrathfulkhan]

[Hi, everyone. Have a six-year-old with glasses that are too big for his head and utterly swimming in his clothes giving y'all the worst stink-eye you can get on a face this cute. He's too irritated to go back to Zatanna's post, so he's going with the usual Marvel-verse scapegoat: Blame Loki.]

Loki! This isn't funny! FIX THIS, or ELSE!

Comments

[manofiron]

Austin Powers? The Spy Who Shagged Me? No?

[bacondivination]

Is this before my time? Old people media, perhaps? It sounds so retro.

[manofiron]

Did you seriously just call me old?

[bacondivination]

Ah, let me rephrase. Media for those of more life experience than myself?

[manofiron]

You're like a million years old! I'm forty-three.

[bacondivination]

Technically, not at all! Younger than I look, in fact. Reincarnation does that sometimes.

[manofiron]

Actual reincarnation? How do you know you're reincarnated?

[bacondivination]

It was courtesy of my brother. Different soul, different story, and entirely different trickster god of Asgard.

Far more charming and adorable than the original of my world, I assure you.

[manofiron]

You know what that means, right? The whole different story thing? It means you're writing it now, and you can be whoever the hell you want to be. Don't let a bunch of old moldy books and set in their ways Asgardian gods tell you who you are. You tell them.

[ He may have some strong feelings on this whole second chance at life thing. ]

That's your unsolicited piece of Tony Stark advice for the day. Since I'm your elder and all.

[bacondivination]

[ There had been a Loki that did that.

There's a crack in his well-maintained mask, and there's something vulnerable beneath it. Guilty. He actually glances off to the side evasively before he can reel it all back in with the very frustrating realization that this is a public situation. ]

I know. All I've wanted to do is change the story of Loki. [ He forces a superficially charming smile. Everything goes back in its place as if he hadn't tripped over that alarmingly kind-hearted advice. ] Such wisdom, my elder. You have depths I didn't expect.

[manofiron]

[ If there's one thing Tony knows, and recognizes, it's avoidance of an issue. More than that, he knows how to handle it. By pretending nothing happened. It's been his tried and true method of coping with the world since day one and he sees no reason to change that habit now. ]

Wonders never cease, right? Truth is, I'm full of surprises. Hang around long enough, I'll teach you all my tricks.

The good ones. I have a lot of bad tricks. As in, the joke's on you kind that blow up in your face. I'll do the heroic thing and keep those to myself.

[ And ramble on until the awkward Moment That Didn't Happen is forgotten. ]

[bacondivination]

[ We're playing the Pretend This Never Happened game? Excellent. Loki is a pro at it as well. He sounds 100% sincere when he laughs. ]

Oh, it's no good if you don't try to teach me a few of the ones that would backfire spectacularly. It would keep me on my toes, and perhaps you'd learn to play the role of a trickster.

[manofiron]

[ Oh good. It appears to be working. Or if it's not working, it at least looks like it's working, and that constitutes working well enough to be going on with. ]

Does that make me your apprentice? Apprentice trickster mortal of Midgard?

[bacondivination]

Apprentice trickster mortal of Midgard? Yes, I like it!

[ It's a good thing he's also the god of lies. ]

Welcome to being the one that everyone looks to in a crisis. They're mostly filled with a hope they can strangle you, but, ah, that's the truly fun part.

[manofiron]

That part's not actually new.

[ People have wanted to strangle him all his life. Half the time, it's been deliberate provocation on his part. ]

That's like every day of my life. We'll have to come up with a new perk.

[bacondivination]

You are well on your way already. Perhaps we'll have to put together a proper benefits package.

[manofiron]

Benefits like health insurance or a neverending stream of hot dates? Because I wouldn't say no to that.

[bacondivination]

Alas, I don't know if actual hot dates are in the future of any trickster. For some reason, the closest thing I've found seems to involve alarmingly attractive people throwing said greatly beleaguered trickster into things. Painfully.

But some are into that, I suppose! Then the health insurance could offset it. Yes, these would be good benefits.

[manofiron]

I'm starting to think I've been a trickster all my life and never realized it. Maybe that means I'm a god, too. Some lost god of a forgotten pantheon. How do you check for that? Is there a test? I can fly. Does that count?

[bacondivination]

We shall proclaim you one either way, the Iron God and Trickster of Midgard! If nothing else, if any of my people appear then I can scandalize them with something novel.

[manofiron]

It better be scandalous. We're brothers-in-mischief now. There's a code. We can't let each other not be the subject of scandal.

[bacondivination]

Excellent, you're in for a treat if it comes to pass. You don't know scandal until you experience that of the gods, I assure you. Change shocks most of them in some of the most amusing ways, and then the attempted murders start so you know it's a proper party.

[manofiron]

Good thing I'm all about change. I'll try to up the outrageousness just to be safe. What's the standard attempted murder rate? I feel like we ought to try to double it.

[bacondivination]

Well, that depends. Mine or theirs?

[ Loki clearly thinks he's hilarious over here. ]

[manofiron]

We're going for maximum impact here. So, whoever's got the higher standard.

[ He should probably take this seriously, but then again, he should probably do a lot of things. Fuck the police, he does what he wants. ]